help with accessing help

[Lemmy]

40yrs old and I've recently broken up with my partner of 8 years and its pretty clear to me i'm suffering panic attacks and potentially long term depression.

i rated 'high' on the k10 test, and have made an appointment with a gp

what things will be discussed, how will it be handled and is there anything i can do to prepare? feeling anxious about it

thanks in advance

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Lemmy,

Good on you for bravely making that appointment with your GP and for reaching out here 🙂 It’s lovely to have you on board.

I’m very sorry to hear about the recent break-up. I know how hard they can be and how it can trigger a whole range of emotions...

I think each GP might handle things slightly differently, but I imagine there are a lot of similarities too. But from my personal experience in terms of first appointments (as well as my annual reviews at the start of a new year):

• GP discusses my mental health, physical health, lifestyle/life events and current issues/struggles with me to get an overview. I tend to think of it as a low pressure, very casual interview.
• Asks me to take one of their self-report (i.e. I answer) tests on anxiety and depression
• Creates a mental health care plan for me which entitles me to 10 Medicare rebatable psychologist visits. If your GP doesn’t bring it up, you can always enquire about a mental health care plan and see if s/he feels it would be helpful to you. If you end up deciding to see a psychologist but you’re not sure which one to see, you can ask your GP for referrals and recommendations.
• Asks me to take physical health tests (e.g. blood tests, etc) to make sure there isn’t an underlying physical health issue that is causing/contributing to my mental health issues.
• Asks me to make a follow-up appointment.

That’s my experience anyway with GPs anyway. Yours won’t necessarily be the same of course, but I hope this gives you some ideas 🙂

In terms of preparation, I feel that’s entirely up to you. But I think it might help to write a bullet point list of your current struggles, because sometimes it can be easy to forget important details, especially if you’re feeling nervous. Speaking of which, nerves is completely understandable at your first appointment 🙂

I hope this helps reassure you a little. There’s no pressure but if you would like to, please free to write in if there’s anything else you would like to ask or to chat, vent, etc.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Lemmy]

Thankyou Pepper for taking the time to reply.

helpful and reassuring, I will come back after my appointment and do some venting 😉

Its hard without a close support group of friends and family close by to deal with these overwhelming feelings of loss.

I will show strength and belief in myself when i don't necessarily feel it, something i guess I've always done well in the past.

This step of seeking professional help is something i should of done years and years ago and currently that realisation is eating me up inside.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Lemmy

Hope the appointment goes well and you start to feel some support. Don’t beat yourself up for not getting help earlier - well done you’re doing it now.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Lemmy,

It’s good to hear from you again. Vent away after your appointment (or any other time you feel like it) 🙂

I get what you’re saying about wishing you had asked for help sooner; I think a lot of people feel that way if it helps reassure you a little. But to your credit, you’re making a fresh start by starting to do that now, and that certainly counts for something. That much, I believe...

Yes, I agree it’s hard when there’s little personal support. Loved ones rallying around you makes an enormous difference...

Let us know how the appointment goes if you like or whenever you feel like writing 🙂

Kind thoughts to you today,

Pepper

[Lemmy]

Thanks, the appointment was really hard.

Large amounts of anxiety beforehand... and lots of sobbing answers during the consultation.

I've come away feeling a lot better about admitting out loud about my feelings, and have booked into a psychologist appointment to get some professional opinion / help to move on with it all.

I realise this is something potentially I'll be living with for the rest of my life, but if i can find closure with a solid diagnosis and get some coping strategies to deal with the low days.

I've been listening to some interesting podcasts regarding depression and anxiety which has also helped me come to terms with something that (as most here will know) feels like its a personal thing that only you at the time can understand what its like to go through. That's not the case.

Will stay on here, keep the conversation rolling. and who knows maybe others can get some help from me for a change.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Lemmy,

Congratulations on attending your first appointment 🙂 Your post made me smile, even though I know and understand how emotional and difficult it was...I smiled because even though I know opening up is hard, it means a lot to take that first step.

I think it’s okay to cry or sob during your first (or any other) appointment. I remember the very first time that I saw a GP about my problems, I was a little teary myself...

I sense some relief in your post though...I think that admitting you’re hurting and knowing that there is help available can be very empowering...

Those podcasts sound fantastic, and I’m glad you’re getting so much out of them. Some great insights there. Thank you so much for sharing those with us 🙂

I’m sure you’re already supporting people without necessarily realising it. A lot of people read and don’t post; I suspect it’s to feel less alone in their struggles and perhaps to get ideas on how to seek help.

Good to hear from you. You’re always very welcome to write here (and anywhere else on the forums too) any time...

kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Lemmy]

I have had a tough few days mostly on my own now my partner has moved her stuff out completely, the role of fixing the house and gardens ready to sell has largely fallen on my shoulders and i am struggling with the stress of it all. My internal voice has a tendency to be constantly trying to form self depreciating points of views and having to stay positive on the outside during work time has become somewhat a mask i wear to hide the internal anguish. I am a good person but its hard to actually feel that way when i gave myself away emotionally and financially to someone else who when i needed them most (with coming to terms with my depression) has left me alone to deal with it. I guess its a sense of betrayal with someone i hoped would be there for me when i was there for them over 8years.

On another note i have signed up to some 'meet new friends' apps and plan on getting back out there with learning to make new friends again, it will be hard. i will have to refocus my attention on the positive things i have done and not be so caught up with the mistakes i have made. Figured i'd just have a bit of a vent so i can write it down rather than having it sealed up inside like i have done most of my life

[Lemmy]

It's been a tough few days, really still struggling with sticking to the positive side of things.

I can't seem to formulate happy feelings and am constantly on the brink of breaking down and fear reaching out to friends as i hate being that person who is the burden on a friendship. Avoiding social gatherings as i am constantly assuming i am never someone who has been the 'life of the party' so to speak and can't at the moment keep it together when surrounded by happy couples, especially those who were part of my previous partner and i circle of friends. Making new friends seems unlikely, what can i focus on to discuss with people i haven't meet when my life currently is depressing me? Do people struggling with the battle against depression have much success in finding new friends? maybe i'm just fearing more rejection being as i don't know how much more i can take.
I've heard a quote that is "everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear" which is great but what if that fear is a seemingly chasm to large to cross?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Lemmy,

I am reading along, quietly supporting and thinking of you. I’m on my way out but I’ll be back to chat soon. Speak over the next few days 🙂

Kindness and care to you,

Pepper