Hello World

[NoEyeDeer]

I am new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself. I am not sure whether I will post soon, perhaps when I am more comfortable with sharing my feelings.  I have been reading other peoples threads and posts and have been gaining the insight that I am not alone in having a heap of emotions and hurts that at times seem hard to live with.  About the only thing that I do know and I have learnt this from my own experience of some 60 years is that no matter how hard it seems to be getting through the dark and desparate periods of my life, that I know things will eventually improve and I will come out into the sunlight again.

[Zeal]

Hello NoEyeDeer,

Welcome to the forum!

I really like the pun you've used in your user name! It's very original and I have never heard of that or thought of it before!

Good on you for coming here and familiarising yourself with the forum. I'm glad you can see you are definitely not alone. So many people need help and support, and this is a great space in which to access it. It would be great to hear from you so that some of us can offer advice and support. There is no pressure here and no judgement. It's an anonymous space where you can respectfully tell your story, offload some emotions and ask for help.

It's great that you have found difficult times to not be constant and unyielding. Things can and do improve.

Hope to hear from you again 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[NoEyeDeer]

Thanks for the welcome SM.  The user name isn't original I am afraid. There is nothing much ariginal about me I am afraid. The name comes from a rather sick joke about a blind deer.

Cheers

[Zeal]

Hi again NoEyeDeer,

It doesn't matter if your user name isn't original, don't worry 🙂  I am sure there are some things original about you or your personality. Every single person is biologically different in some way, so there is no one exactly identical to you. It's kind of neat to think of it like that, well at least I believe so!

Hopefully you feel comfortable to post again at some stage 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[topsy_]

Hello NoEyeDeer, I've only been posting on BB for about a week. So from one newbie to another - welcome!

I've been battling with depression for 40+ years. I feel so old when I say that! I somehow got the idea in my head that things would improve as I got older. I know I am heaps better than the early years but I still go through down periods. If they go on for too long I do still forget the good times will return. So you are doing better than me there.

I found that coming on here & writing about how I was feeling really helped me. The people who replied were all lovely, accepting & encouraging. What surprised me was those people were my own age. It really helped me ride out the fears & worries I was experiencing. Especially having 24 hour access if I needed it.

So I hope you will find what you need here too. Take care, Lyn.

[geoff]

hi NoEyeDeer, welcome to the site.
I'm sure that those of us who are in their 60's could have struggled with depression silently, and I'm not taking away that it does happen with our younger folk, it does, but then if you take those people in their 80's or above where was the help they needed, or would they even admit that they are having trouble with depression, unfortunately not in their latter years because it would make them feel weak, and that's why all of us are trying to open the door for them all, because there is help out there.
Depression is not a weakness, it's an illness that could keep returning back to us whenever it wants to, we can't dicate the timing or sometimes the reason, but there are people out there who want to help you, plus many avenues which you could be directed towards that provide help and assistance.
Amongst us all there lies one major fact that has affected everything we do, and that's depression, so there is a lot of help on this site, something which can finally start you on a new lifestyle, and that's what needs to be changed.
Great for you to join us. Geoff.

[NoEyeDeer]

Thanks for the welcome Lyn. I wonder if we get long service leave for being like we are fro so many years? :}

[NoEyeDeer]

Thanks for the welcome Geoff. From the little time that I have spent here, I have tried to read lots of posts to find out how other manage and cope.  From that reading I will say that there appears to be nothing but kindness and caring coming through from people that are wanting to help or just be there to listen. Quite often we just want someone to listen to us, not necessarily asking for advice.

On older people holding it all in and not talking about it, I find it hard to talk about it. Especially with my wife. Whenever I have done so in the past I generally have received criticism and rebuke with little sympathy or understanding so I keep it to myself now.  My two sisters know of my bipolar but I don't want to burden them with my downers as they have their own physical health issue to deal with that are far worse than mine.

[Zeal]

Hi again No Eye Deer,

This forum is certainly full of kind and compassionate people, like yourself 🙂 Having someone to talk to about concerns of a personal nature is a great comfort. I recently turned 23 and still live at home, so I find myself still talking to my Mum about things that bother me. She is the only person who I 'vent' to. I talk to my boyfriend about personal concerns too, but I usually feel less stressed around him anyway. I always ask him about how he's doing, of course. It's different with Mum, because she has been with me through my entire life and knows my past like it is her own. She was the one who took me to psychologists, got me tutoring for maths, took me on outings when I was a painfully shy child, and reassured me. I owe so much to her.

Talking to your sisters about your Bipolar may be okay with them, so long as you ask about their health and listen to their concerns. It depends how close you are as siblings too. Your wife must find it hard to understand, especially if she has never experienced a mental illness before and is of the 'soldier on' mentality, which generally does not work with mental health conditions. With physical health issues, people tend to get support and sympathy from people more easily, because the condition is more out in the open to observe. This depends on the specific health concern, of course.

Do you have other relatives or close friends you could talk to about some of your concerns? Perhaps you can be each other's confidante. They can talk about what is on their mind (whether it's related to work, relationships, life in general or mental health) and have you as a friendly ear, and then they be the same for you. I know it's not as easy as this, but hopefully there is someone you can confide in sometimes. It's important to also talk about other topics too, to give yourselves a mental break from more serious discussions.

I'm rambling now, so I will leave it there!

I hope your day is going well 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[NoEyeDeer]

Thanks for your thoughts SM. I talk with my sisters every 3-4 weeks by phone, touching base but I keep my feelings to myself other than when questioned how I am going and I tell them I am good or I tell them that I am going through a rough patch but leave it at that. I don't want to talk about it with them and as I am quite a loner (always have been) don't have any really close friends that I could discuss things with. Acquaintances and a couple of good neighbours, yes I have those but would not burden them with my stuff.