Hello Everyone :D

[alina_01]

Hello, everyone! I joined this forum because I never felt comfortable with sharing my problems with people I know, but I feel comfortable with sharing it with people I’d not know. Hi, I’m Alina, a 12 year old girl who has just started high school. I have trouble fitting in and am constantly worrying about how I look. So I’m just here to share my problems, because it manages to get most of the weight off my chest once I’ve said everything.

thankyou for your support 😄

[ecomama]

Hey alina_01, welcome to the forums. 

You're pretty clever knowing that getting things off your chest can help relieve them, at such a young age. 
The BB forums are ideal for this.
Well done lol! 

Keeping a balance within the forums is key, IMO, to improving our mental health. I mean also using them to get what you can out of the wellbeing threads too! 50/50 or more in the wellbeing is my balance :-))

I picked 2 specific things you mentioned, body image and "fitting in". 
I'd use the concentric circles trick for body image... can talk more about this if you want? 

The fitting in must be an age old perspective issue. Not so many before us have talked about this explicitly but there's certainly mention of it for absolute eons. 
Flipping this idea of fitting in, is the opposite, being belonging. 

Here's a quote from a brilliant researcher, called Brene Brown, for you to ponder and hopefully investigate and make use of throughout your life... "Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

I've found Maya Angelou and Oprah's books talk about this issue. 

My conclusion is that trying to fit in, detracts from our lives, instead of forging forward being authentically ourselves and walking firmly on the earth. 

Hope this open up some food for thought for you, 
Love EM

[alina_01]

Thankyou, ecomama!

very much appreciated ^^

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

i get what you say about talking to anon people on a forum like this. And i also understand you said it's hard to talk to someone. That's OK. Maybe after chatting here for a while you might also feel comfortable talking to someone. But just take it a day at a time. There are plenty of people here to listen to what you have to say and can respond with empathy. You are worth it.

[Petal22]

Hi alina 01,

Wellcome to our forums.

I understand that we do worry about the way we look sometimes.

I sometimes catch myself doing it, but then I realised that if I could accept myself fully for the person I am and love me for me then I had no need to worry about the way I looked.

Sometimes I find that our minds tend to race off with all of these worries that aren’t really needed we can be free of them but it takes time.

If you catch yourself worrying try to just redirect your attention onto something more positive in the present moment.

Please tell your self positive things about yourself every day….. a positive mindset will really build you a beautiful future.

Thanks for reaching out to us, we are here for you beautiful girl ❤️

[geoff]

Hello Alina, it's so good to hear from you and understand what you are struggling with, but please reassure yourself that people your age, as they slowly develop into becoming an adult, can considerably change in posture and definitely the way they look, and I can vouch for this.

You may not notice this yourself because as people do keep looking at ourselves in the mirror, we can't see any change, but in ten years time, a photo will be able to show you.

What beauty you have may well be acknowledged by others who could be too afraid to mention, because everyone has their attractive features, whether it's kindness, gratitude, understanding or looks, it doesn't matter and if you find it difficult to fit in, then you wouldn't be alone in feeling this way.

Just do what you want to do and people will slowly join you and please remember you can also talk with Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, web chat or online and it's totally free, but please don't forget to come back to us.

Take care.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Mark Z.]

Hi Alina_01,

Welcome to the forum.

It's a good idea to share your story and challenge here. And it's good to know that you feel better when you speak out.

We are more or less unavoidable to care what other people think of us, it's quite natural. However I'd suggest you to put your focus on loving yourself and caring about yourself. When you care more about your physical health and appearance, when you enjoy what you love to do, you will become more confident and charming.

It's also important that you have a few close friends that you can talk to, it also helps.

Mark