Do you feel comfortable on the forum?

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I've just been having a look at some of the posts on the forum and have once again been aware that some people make a thread, post once and then we don't seem to hear from them again.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, I am just wondering why that might be the case.

Do any of you have any suggestions?

Can you think of ways people may feel encouraged to continue posting?

o you personally feel welcome on the forum?

Connecting with others on this forum can be so rewarding in many different ways.

I also realise a lot of people just read and don't post and that is okay as well.

Are there ways we can make people feel more welcome here?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and ideas.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi KittyCat23,

Thanks for sharing this with us and I hear your frustration! Just so you know - this is definitely something that we know and are working on.
BeyondBlue is working behind the scenes to create new and better forums for everyone. If you like you can check out the link here and post (or repost) your suggestions and feedback -
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/the-forum-suggestions-improvements-thread/page/10#qqfKjnHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

I think the guidelines around one post are super tricky and very much shades of grey.

You can have one new multicultural, homosexual young person poster struggle with anxiety, trauma, depression who is caring for a family member. That single post could end up in a number of sections!

The main reason the guideline is there is to help you and other users help you best. If we start sharing in multiple sections, it becomes harder - we might be missing posts that share more of your story, or you might feel frustrated if one post is getting more traction then the other and you’re still stuck with the other issue (like anxiety and trauma for example). So in a sense it is best to pick one section and go with it.
It’s also helpful if you have a descriptive title as these posts tend to get more answers rather than ‘Hi’. Topic threads like anxiety, depression etc also get more views and answers given that people search there for similar stories or to offer support.

With that said though, other times you might have a question or a particular concern - in that case in can be helpful to post on separate threads. That way you’re keeping your thread for your story and your support and having the other threads as advice/suggestions.

I hope this helps a little and that you stick around!

[Birdy77]

Hi Everyone,

I really value the forums as a place to air our feelings and know that we'll be met with understanding and empathy.

Something that has been bothering me lately is this feeling of "followers" or cliques. I've read others mention similar.

For instance, you can read a post by a "popular" member, and it will get a bunch of "likes" and get responses.

Then someone else will say something truly valuable and valid or even similar to the "popular" person and it will be ignored.

For instance, I have supported a very popular member here for a long time. Maybe I've said something that offends them (I can't think what) but for the last 5 or 6 instances I've written a supportive post, they've completely ignored me. Or i will write a post and then anither "popular" member will write something similar and they get a thousand thumbs up and mine is ignored? I won't post there again, not because I don't care, but because it hurts.

I find it really (really) disheartening.

I understand when we disagree with what someone has said, or genuinely find it unhelpful ... but when it's just because you're not the "popular" one ... it can be hurtful.

I feel that it goes against why we are here.

Are we not here to support each other in our struggle and should we not celebrate each other's efforts to help one another, regardless of "popularity"?

I find it very off-putting and almost a form of bullying. It is definitely something that deters me from posting.

🌻birdy

[Tess2]

Hi birdy77,

i absolutely agree with you, in fact I maybe one of the people who referenced cliques. I am not sure that this is actually helpful to people.

I am also not one of those who post with lots of emojis and emotional sentiment, maybe that puts some off that I am not so gushy, I don’t know.

i do think the forums are used as a substitute for connecting with people in life and that is ok for those people I suppose, I get would be concerned when it goes on long term. After all I want to be able to live in the world, not online.

i hope I have not overstepped the mark here or offended anyone, it is not my intention.

tess

[Summer Rose]

Hi Birdy77 and Tess2

I found your posts really interesting. Popularity is not something I have ever thought of in relation to the forum. And I've never noticed cliques.

How do you know if someone is popular? How do you identify a clique? I'm not being smart, I'm just curious cause I've been around a fair bit this year and haven't picked up on it. How do you think these issues could be addressed?

[Tess2]

Hi summer rose,

i am not sure how to answer this without making it about certain threads / posts.

i am not sure that it needs to be addressed really as it must meet a need for those people or a group. Of course some people will identify more closely with some than others maybe that is all it is.

i try not to take any of it personally.

tess

[Croix]

Dear Birdy,

I find you warm, empathetic and sensible - plus possessed of a sense of humor. You do not have that Valued
Contributor badge for nothing.

Your roughly 1,500 posts are good value and I'm distressed that anything should make you feel less welcome or appreciated.

I will say this, the Forum does not operate on quite the same set of social rules as outside life, and many unseen things factor in to what appears. That is not to say sometimes people are not rude or inconsiderate, I'm not making excuses, though in my experience most of that is unintentional.

Please remember you do good here, and that is important for it's own sake. People do rely upon your cheerful style - me included

Hang in here Birdy. Look on the bright side, birdy's cant get toothaches (unless you are an archopterix of course), think of the TOOTHACHES walruses can get :[

Croix (who likes the odd non-sequitur)

[PamelaR]

Hi Birdy

I agree completely with Croix. You are so warm and empathetic. I too love your sense of humour and the posts you write to support people. You are very valued here by many of us!!

I love having you around. Always find your posts very useful.

We’re here for you Birdy.

PamelaR

[blondguy]

Hey Birdy

Croix and PamelaR are spot on with your valued input. Your life experience is highly regarded on the forums. I am just another one of your fans.....and yes...since you joined too!!

Croix made an excellent point when he mentioned "the Forum does not operate on quite the same set of social rules as outside life, and many unseen things factor in to what appears"

Just an example if thats okay....During November the forums had periods where many unanswered posts from new members were going back from 48 to 72 hours. Generally our priority is to try to answer any unanswered posts (if we are able to of course!) as a Valued Contributor or a CC.

Your posts always are always super supportive Birdy. I hope you can keep helping out new members as well as you always do 🙂

my kindest always

Paul

[white knight]

Hi Birdy

Some really relevant posts here.

Popularity is always present in any group. School is the best example of it where the popular kid, the one that was held in awe, was surrounded with admirers.

We are adults now but it still occurs. It hurts and its uncalled for. In fact it runs against the tide of the chemistry of the forum. But is it intentional? Not always, maybe never.

I'd like you to rely on management to address any such problems. They are on the ball with such issues and take them seriously. Your need for peace here is important.

Secondly, work towards acceptance of the imperfections of human beings. Most here are loving and considerate people that often are unaware of the effect of their actions as they strike up close bonds with each other. Try to focus what is more important and the work you do and have done as a VC is leaps and bounds more valuable.... priceless in fact.

TonyWK

[Birdy77]

Dear Everyone 😊

Thank you very much for all your replies and support.

Summer Rose, I'm glad you've not experienced what Tess and I mentioned. It's hard to say how you "know" of it, I guess you just pick it up on certain threads and such.

But as Tony mentioned (welcome back, great to see you back on the horse (see what I did there?)), it is probably almost always unintentional, and it is definitely always good practice to expect members are coming from a good place in their hearts.

Paul, it's a really good point about the importance of responding to new members - if I'm feeling yuck, as someone who's been around for a while, imagine how new members feel if they have to wait ages for acknowledgement.

Pammy and Croix (wlton-s) I really appreciate your support and care. True, toothache for birdys are terribly rare. I appreciated the finer details of the caps-lock walrus toothache and the square bracket thing in your illustration of a walrus smiley :[ I thought it was a very refined touch.

In the fresh light of a brand new day I feel a tad foolish perhaps. I have probably been feeling a bit extra-sensitive just lately.

Thank you all so much again, I appreciate all of you very much.

🌻birdy