Dear bec9pm
Hello and welcome to the forum. Please feel free to post about the difficulties you have so we can support you in these tough times. Like Tony I have also been through the washing machine of depression. Not at all nice. Here we can share our experiences, as Tony has done, and talk about what has worked for us. What works for one person may not be good for another but it does give a place to start.
Getting over the loss of someone dear to you takes time. Every day we wake and hope the pain has gone. It does go but often slowly leaving us feeling drained and unmotivated. We are also prone to blaming ourselves which makes us feel worse and so the downward spiral gets going. Hard to stop which is why I suggest you return to some professional help.
As you are in uni perhaps you can contact the uni counselling people. I think all universities have a counselling program. The advantage of this is they know how much study can affect our lifestyles and how dispirited we get. They are also very much on the ball about relationship breakdowns as the uni population I'm guessing has many of these.
Feeling helpless is quite common so you are not alone. Do you manage to get to lectures and how do you do this? It's good to look at something you can do and see if you can apply the same motivating process elsewhere. Hoping happiness will just appear at your bedside does not work. Can you set your sights lower and work on getting through each day and count the successes you had with that day. Knowing you can do something well is such a good feeling. I congratulate you on finding your way to beyondblue.
Like Tony I tried many antidepressants before I was prescribed something I could not only tolerate but which helped me to feel so much better. That was such a relief. If it's more that you don't like taking ADs then I suggest you have a chat with your GP, or prescribing doctor, about this. I'm not keen on taking any meds but unfortunately I have to take meds for a medical condition. I really wish I did not need to do but the potential outcome if I stop would not be good.
Love Tony's analogy of our square minds and round holes of reality. We do need to learn to adapt.
Please post here as often as you wish.
Mary
