18 year old feeling like I'm in the pits of despair

[Peter8901]

Hello, My name is Peter, the reason why I'm here is because I feel like im at the last thread of the rope. Most days I feel depressed, barely able to find motivation to get out of bed and I have a severe case of Misanthropy. I feel consumed by hatred for humanity. I despise most humans I see them as greedy, self serving, corrupt, unreliable lot. I think their grotesque. I rarely leave the house, most times lately I leave the house once a week since I graduated highschool. I don't know what to do anymore. I am very religious and God does give me comfort and praying is one of the only times I get a sense of peace. I also tend to overthink everything and I feel physically anxious when I do so.

[Peppermintbach]

Hello,

Your depression sounds very debilitating and overwhelming. Struggling to get out of bed is very rough...that daily battle must be tiring...

As for your severe misanthropic feelings, to some extent, I feel that I understand where you’re coming from. Though in my case, I usually feel more disheartened and disillusioned by humankind these days, rather than severe misanthropy. Though I’ve definitely felt those intense misanthropic feelings before in the past...

You strike me as very thoughtful. To some extent, I agree with your observations/thoughts and that it could apply to many (though not all) people. That includes me too by the way, but I’m okay admitting that about myself.

I’m not sure what would help you either. But I wonder if it would help to channel some of those intense feelings into something you feel is worthy e.g. if you feel most people are greedy, is there a way you could do something to counteract that greed?

It doesn’t have to be big, starting small and starting local could help too...I say this from personal experience as someone who has struggled (and still struggles) with my fellow humans too.

For a long time, I felt so consumed by my own anger and resentment. But it wasn’t really helping me or anyone else, so over time, I learnt to hone that into other things.

I understand you’re obviously not me, and that what works for each of us is different. But I wanted to share my thoughts anyway in the small chance that, if nothing else, it makes you feel slightly reassured...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[therising]

A warm welcome to the forum Peter

I dislike the media and have little to do with it (be it TV, newspapers or whatever). Over all, it gives a terrible one sided view of the world. Whilst I'm criticised by those around me for not investing myself in knowing what's going on in the world, I do tune into what I believe is relevant and educational. Empowerment is found through education, disempowerment is found through a sense of helplessness. The media does love to feed our a sense of helplessness. We can be manipulated into the idea that it's better to feel hatred/resentment than helplessness or victimisation.

When the mind is fed garbage, it becomes unwell, just as the body does with a poor diet. The way our mind and body interact with our spirit (sense of connection to life) is highly significant. Thoughts, which impact physical chemistry, can leave us feeling disconnected, with a 'malnourished' spirit. One of my favourite authors when it comes to self-education in this area is Joe Dispenza. His book 'Becoming Supernatural' takes the mind/body/spirit angle and translates it into neuroscience/epigenetics/quantum physics. He does this in an easily understood way. It's about gaining insight into the energies of a miraculous interactive and powerful triad. Whether the reader is Christian, Buddhist or Atheist, it remains an amazing read.

Empowerment relies on a shift in perspective. Yes, hard to achieve in a world that continues to challenge us but I believe such empowerment begins when we cease looking toward that which provides us with a poor diet (mentally, physically and spiritually). As Pepper suggested, focusing on doing something to counteract certain forms of injustice can help us redefine ourselves not as victims in a hopeless world but as freedom fighters in a world that needs liberation from superficial self-serving desires. Whether we are someone who looks to Jesus or Buddha for inspiration (to name a couple of masters), we take comfort in knowing that they too dealt with what challenged their sense of morality and hope in this world. What helped make them masters was in fact their analytical nature, on their path of enlightenment. Like you, they questioned both their self and this world.

Do not lose hope in a world that relies on heroes and masters in order to evolve. Myself, I'm working on becoming more of an upstander and less of a bystander. Definitely a challenge! It pays to listen to the positive answers that come through prayer.

Take care