Son refusing to see Psychologist

[kelpom]

Hi, first time here. I’m at the end of my tether. My 13 yo son has been getting screened for adhd etc. the psychologist keeps calling him back to do more tests or doesn’t look at the screening forms for weeks which I feel is prolonging things. My son has anger issues and is very rude when we go. I wasn’t expecting this many appts however I have to take him tomorrow. I feel he will refuse. It’s after school. She’s had everything I can give her. Is it acceptable for me to go on my own.

if I want therapy for him I’ll make that choice. Right now I want the screening to be done. I was told 4 appt plus parent appt. It’s been 8 tomorrow I think. I understand but am getting frustrated.

I am also seeking my own mental health help as I’m now extremely down with my own issues. 

thank you for listening.

[sbella02]

Hi Kelpom,

Thank you so much for posting here, and welcome to the forums. I'm not a parent myself, but I can understand your frustration in wanting the best for somebody who appears to be opposed to therapies or treatments that may be beneficial for them. 

Do you know why he may be feeling angry in response to seeing a psychologist, or do you know why he may want to refuse? Is there something he doesn't want to do, face, or is he perhaps scared of what the outcome may be? In situations like these, understanding the causes of certain emotions can give us great insight into what the underlying fear, concern, or belief may be, making it easier to find a solution. If you feel comfortable, have a small discussion with him and encourage him to open up to you about what he's feeling. You may also find it useful to have a chat to his psychologist and see what they recommend, as they may have some good and highly personalised advice for you too. 

I'm sorry to hear that you're also struggling with your own mental health. Is there a trusted friend or loved one in your life who you would feel comfortable confiding in? It can really help to express our thoughts and feelings to somebody who we trust and who has deep insight into our personality, relationships, and circumstances. Otherwise, have you spoken to your GP about potentially having a chat to a therapist or psychologist? Hearing the professional advice of an objective third party can also be quite helpful.

I hope this advice resonates with you, please feel free to continue chatting with us if you need to, we're here for you. 

All my best, SB

[kelpom]

Thanks sbella02 for your reply.

he has always been angry and likely has oppositional defiance disorder. This is partly why he’s being screened. He is rude to most authority figures, not interested talking to anyone.  The psychologist often takes him in and then he comes out on his own and we leave. I rarely get to see her. But I’m trusting the process and my gp who said she is a specialist in adhd, asd, teenage screening.  She is quite blunt with my son. He doesn’t like it of course. He’s hates her. He’ll hate anyone who tells him what he doesn’t want to hear. I just want the screening to be done so that I know where to go from there and I can work with the school. He has been suspended a few times already in his first year at high school. I’m constantly worrying.

I gave chatter personally with councillors and will see my gp tomorrow as I think I need medication now.

I just really want to get my sons screening done. I keep telling him it’s nearly done. And she keeps getting him back. If he refuses today I will have to go on my own. She told me the last time she just needed to do one more cognitive test with him. I don’t know why he has to go back again. The receptionists aren’t very helpful. I’ve had to ge quite stern as they just say. They’ll send her an email (then don’t get back to me).

thanks