psychologists keep letting me down

[Out_the_window]

Hi group.any one else feel fed up with the unreliability of a psychologist. I was to have my 1 st appointment with a new one this week.she got her receptionist to cancel it for me.ive told her many times its serious .i need to see her asap as my specialists found new lung tumor.and its freaking me out. So she dosnt hhave a fax machine.never answers her phones.her receptionist is never in. Then she is very vague each time i do talk to her. I give up on that profession as they do nothing to help me.

[geoff]

hi Wayne, I know it is so frustrating without a doubt.
My last psychologist didn't help mwe one bit so after 5 or 6 sessions I ensded it with him, all he would do is question why I feel that way, that's fine if you feel they are interested, but this chap said that he never takes any medication, not even for headache, and was horrified to hear that I take a large amount of pills per day.
As I have OCD he said that to overcome this is easy, 'just talk your way out of it', b****t if only he knew, so virtually he was only condescending, I wonder how anyone can have a practice if all they want to do is chastise you, so I stopped seeing him. Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Out the window,

Yes I have experienced this before and I can share the frustration and disappointment.

The one I'm seeing now is great, however she too has let me down a few times. I did think about ending things but instead I waited and then told her how I felt and that I need someone reliable. She hasn't let me down since and I'm glad I didn't leave. When this happened with another psychologist things eventually broke off; so I truly think it depends on the person and whether or not they are committed and care about you as a person (not just a client). Having said that though there will always be things that get in the way that nobody can control like family illness/being sick so I guess it's just a matter of trying to have good communication between both of you.

You said in your post that she was vague; vague how? Have you had your first appointment as yet?

[Out_the_window]

Hi Geoff.and thanks for your reply.i think that psychologist was attempting psycho analysis on you.usually a psychiatrists job.to get the patient to reach for own answers . I agree.not what hes there for. My psychologist hasnt even returned my calls. Wayne

[Out_the_window]

Hi Romantic_thy3fs . i find that too many physicians in general are vague minded.forget what theyre doing or tune out while the patient answers thier questions.. i truely believe its the only job they cope with and know so its just a pay packet to them.as for telling them how you feel.ive done that but in response ive experienced the biggest dummy spits ever.lol . Wayne

[Starwolf]

Hi Out the Window...good to meet you.

I'm sorry you are feeling so distressed at the moment...and with good reasons too. Ill health is bad enough as it is but being let down by someone who is supposed to help sure doesn't make it any easier.

Psy therapists are service providers, and very much human. So the ratio of helpful, caring ones is the same that applies to the rest of the population. I agree that impeccable ethics would be expected from those who choose a profession in care.

Being bombarded day in, day out with patients' mental/emotional turmoil is draining to say the least so it is a job that demands unflappable stability. I don't think many psys realize this before they find themselves in trouble and seriously out of their depth. Perhaps the screening process is not thorough enough.

This said, there are terrific ones out there. But it can take several attempts before finding someone you can connect and work with. Not something one should have to go through when in pain and dire need of assistance.

Here around the forums, we are consistently made aware of both kinds. As a CC ,there's nothing that reassures me more than knowing someone is in good hands. Little that infuriates me more than to see another been made to feel worse.

The situation is complicated by the fact that the brain is a complex body part. Its relationship with the mind even more so. So a therapist's ways can seem unfathomable to the average lay person. It is easy for misunderstanding to creep in. This is why trust is so important in the patient/doctor teamwork. And why a patient's questions ought to be answered as best as possible. But questioning needs be done. A genuine practitioner will not mind.

Would you consider going back to square 1 and trying another ? Would you research who is available in your area and has a solid reputation ?

I hope you can soon find the help and support you are entitled to.

Kindest thoughts.

[Out_the_window]

Im sorry.i disagree. Because ive contributed alot to society via volunteering and paid jobs.all caring for people.in emergency situations.to child care and aged care.in surf lifesaving i lost a swimmer on.my first rescue.it wasnt my fault.she was full of alcohol and not a good swimmer. Though for ages i blamed myself.cause i expect to give the best care.wich means NOT letting anyone drown. That there is the difference between a true carer or one who just gives up on people because theres always another to walk in the door. I saved lives.i found lost kids in the bush.i put out fires.i spent hours with old people and kids who felt alone and hurting. So many physicians have big egos because of a degree or two.but we are judged by our works. My grandma said. Cheers.

[Starwolf]

Sorry Out the Window...but I don't get it. What is it exactly you disagree with ? That there are both good and bad therapists like there are both good and bad people ?

Navigating these forums lets one know that there are good ones out there who have played a huge part in people's recovery. I know for fact some save lives too as I have seen it happen in my direct environment...and more than once. Are you sure you're not tarring everyone with the same brush here ?

Like many others, I too have dedicated much of my life volunteering and caring for others, but it is done without expectations of return of favour so there is no bitterness when it doesn't happen.

I understand that you are feeling angry for being let down. I thought my post made it clear that it shouldn't but does happen. You seem to agree as you write yourself that "so many physicians have big egos". Surely many means not all, doesn't it ?

Sometimes, strong emotions make us view reality through strongly tinted glasses. But reality is what it is, regardless. Multi-faceted, seldom black and white.

Also, it may happen that what we put out there draws a negative reaction from others. And so tinting their glasses !

Wising you a peaceful evening.

[Out_the_window]

I was offered a position on the gold coast as a counsilor.i thought about it.then declined.the reason.i didnt wanto work with a bunch of people with stale ethics.and i would be the guy who got into trouble telling a junky ."im sorry .but i dont believe you" .i disagree with your claims that a 65yo councillor or is not an oxygen theif.by not alowing new generations fresh ideas into those positions. I am alowed to disagree you know

.cheers.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Out the window

There are so many different types of practices and therapists that I think it is not unlikely that you will find one that may suit you MOST of the time. I say most and not all of the time as it is just about impossible for a therapist to be great and have a really good session with a client EVERY time. There may be some sessions that feel like you were really heard and understood and others where you felt that things didn’t flow as well. However, I feel it is more than likely you can find someone who will be ok for you most of the time. So, how do you find this magical person?

I would do back to the referral source To get a mental health care plan, you would have had to have gone to a GP. I would suggest you go back and tell the GP of your experience and say that you would like a new referral to someone who works in a more supported clinic . Maybe one with full time reception staff or where there are a number of staff members who are available.

Some practitioners work quite “solo” and others work in larger groups so work out what suits you. Also the hospital or specialist that is treating your tumour may have a list of psychologists that have an interest in this area.

It is true that therapy isn’t for everyone and some people prefer to deal with their mental health symptoms with exercise, diet or meditation or medication. So there are always those options. However, I would check with your GP as to what might be best for you.