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Psychiatrist and patient diaries
Hi, so I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a bit now. I have had 5 sessions since October.
I have come home from my latest psychiatrist session, feeling depressed and teary.
So basically, since the 2nd or 3rd session, I have been writing diaries, of my feelings. I have been depressed and s/h recently. Sick husband and a lot going on.
So a lot of emotions went in to them, postage, or dropping them off.
She read my first 2 and discussed with me at my next session. And said I was brave for writing to her.
After that, I did send through, 3 or 4 diaries, admittedly quite a bit to read.
At todays session, psychiatrist said, she hadn't read it and it was too much!
At the time, I said nothing and left, as was the end of my session.
I felt so depressed and upset and in tears on leaving.
I haven't been able to shake it all day. So upset.
I trust her and it's my way to get out my feelings.
I fully trust her and look forward to our sessions.
Today, for the first time, I thought why bother to go to sessions and does she care?
She had even said in one of our first sessions, that some of her patients, do write diaries to her, so I did. Naturally, I am confused.
I wrote her a short, one page letter and sent it to her this afternoon, expressing how disappointed I was and upset. My next session is not for 8 weeks. So I didn't want to wait to then, to hold my feelings in on the issue.
I don't know if I'm overthinking it or not?
Should I call her tomorrow and tell her it's important to me, that she read my diaries?
I nearly bought alcohol today as a consequence, but did not, which I'm proud of, as currently not drinking. 18 days no alcohol. Yay.
She's only opened on Monday and Tuesdays as well.
Thoughts please? And am I right to be upset?
I am glad you can write and share your thoughts with your psychiatrist. I think 3 to 4 diaries q ight have been at a time when your psychiatrist had other work. Yes you are important and she was honest and she did read your first two diaries and said how brave you were,
- ineould have been upset after giving he tbe diaties and they weren’t read.m
Sorry for typos.
last line should read:
I would have been upset after giving the diaries and they weren’t read.
You're right. All at once, practically would have been a lot. But I did give them over a period of a few weeks.
I have been trying not to overthink it, but so hard. It's put me in a very depressive mood for the rest of the day.
I think, I feel better writing in here and sending her a letter, on my thoughts on not reading my diaries.
Hopefully because it normal envelope, she will actually read it.
I emailed my psychologist to ask her opinion too. No reply. But I know she doesn't always reply to every email.
Do you think it is just a case, of she's too busy and does care?
My stupid, depressive mind, immediately went to, she doesn't care to know what truly goes on in my head.
I hope she reads them. Surely she will, by the time of my next appointment in 8 weeks.
Laying in bed, unable to sleep. Can't stop thinking about yesterdays session. Can't get over it.
It suddenly occured to me, I don't feel heard, listened or seen in life.
I get talked over by my family at times.
So my psychiatrist not wanting to read my diaries, because it's too much, is hitting me hard and making me feel that I'm not heard by her or listened to.