Physcotic Episode ?

[Steve0]

Hi,

A few weeks ago, I believed someone came into our house while we were sleeping. Played around with my computer. The heater had been turned on and the electric hot water system turned off. At the time we suspected it might have been our neighbour who we have had a long running dispute with over their noise.

We had previously noticed other little things that had happened around the property that were very strange, including the hot water being turned off a week previous. On there own I would just brush the issues off. Added together ... I think about it all the time, obsessively - it's a dark hole.

I went to my doctor for an emergency appointment, I was freaked out and wanted to talk to someone. He didn't think the story was plausible and offered me anti psychotic medication and suggested I might think differently in a few days on these meds. He also called my girlfriend immediately after I left. We decided not to call the police as it was a mental health issue - not a plausible situation, nothing was taken that I can see.

In a way I was relieved to hear that I was psychotic and happy to take the anti psychotic medication to make me think straight and clear up the worry. They however made it very hard to think straight, I am an IT professional and cannot do my job on those tablets, I couldn't even work out how to operate our TV while on them. And I still believed someone had come into the house even after taking them .. well sometimes I do ... it goes around and around my head, I come to different conclusions at different times.

More recently I have been put on sedative medication to reduce my anxiety. I am having nightmeres at night (I never have night meres) sometimes waking up yelling ... I am getting up at random times at night all hot and flushed and check around the house and in my office (very scared) I leave all the outside lights on every night. I'm also very very tired all of the time and i get pins and needles in my feet and lips. My partner complains that I am very quiet and I feel like I can't be happy. I want to be but something is stopping me like a big weight.

Am I having a psychotic break ? I don't know - I feel like I am in a black hole. My partner is also scared, she doesn't know if I am going mad or not or if someone was in the house when we where sleeping. Perhaps if we sell up and move house we will feel better.

[Petal22]

That’s ok Steve O happy to support you…..

Yes I was in a very dark place…. But I’m now living in the light……… what you are going through is temporary you have brighter days ahead of you… if I can recover there is hope that you can too just hang in there and go and get the professional help that you need to help you recover.

I don’t know where I’d be today with out the help I received from our health professionals while on my mental health journey.

I understand before I was diagnosed with OCD I didn’t think it was to do with thoughts………… but mine was…….

I had a number of compulsion like re assurance seeking from myself and others, I’d constantly dr google ( I no longer do these things)……

I also understand the anxiety upon waking I’d have the same thing the mornings were always very severe and intense………, it got better later in the day.

No matter what you are going through you can get through it just keep persevering…… we are so much stronger than we realise.

When I was experiencing what I was going through I thought I was going crazy……

Since having OCD I now how so much understanding to others who are going through a mental health condition….. it really isn’t a very nice place to be…….. but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

No matter what you are diagnosed with there will be a treatment available for you…. Just keep working with your doctors and do what’s best for you……

We can learn to manage what we are experiencing……. There are people who can help us ……

Thank you I’m glad to be living in the light now……….. and I’m so grateful to have an insight so I can support others who are going through mental health conditions.

Try to practice a bit of mindfulness or meditation and being in the present moment.

Yes please get your referral ASAP….. if you can, please let me know how you go…..

Hang in there…….. you have brighter days ahead of you..

[Steve0]

Hey Petal,

I got into to my GP .. he fitted me in at the end of the day. He spent about an hour with me which I am really greatful for. Told me about cognitive therapy .. I have also now have anti depressants that can also help with migraines (old type of anti depressant ). I have an appointment with a psychologist and I have to go back next week for a mental health plan (whatever that is !). I'm also having an MRI scan.

The antidepressants make me feel a bit nauseous and last night I had the worst nightmere of my life, stuck in a swirling vortex of blackness with my body being stretched and pulled apart. Hopefully those things will be temporary.

I heard a bang on the roof the last night and didn't get up just told myself that it was a stick falling. That is already an improvement .. but I am still going through periods of anxiety ... and needing the sedatives (I just take 1/4 and that is enough). I think the anti depressants take a few weeks to work .. i hope I can handle the nausea .. I have IBD so perhaps that is why.

[Petal22]

Hi Steve01,

Thanks for getting back to us.

Well done for seeing your gp, that’s great that you have got the ball rolling.

A mental health plan is a support plan for someone who is experiencing mental health issues……. It’s pretty routine and it also will enable you to see a psychologist which is great that you have an appointment for one.

I hope all goes well with your MRI scan.

Yes antidepressants can take up to 6 weeks to work to their full capacity…… so hang in there…. if you have any concerns while taking them please talk to your gp about it.

I understand the periods of anxiety just practice deep slow breathing and if you can google a relaxing meditation…….

Please feel free to check in with us and let us know how you are going or if you have an questions… we are here to support you.

[Steve0]

Hi again,

Can I ask if its normal to be having nightmeres from antidepressants ? I've never really had many nightmeres but I am getting them often and really nasty ones. I have had several about big spiders biting me and black patches on my skin. Sometimes I just have more normal dreams but they are also very vivid.

I'm going ok, somedays better than others. It seems if I am under normal kind of stress, like at work the physical anxiety shows up and I can feel it running through my body like electricity, sometimes its hard to take I just want to go home and take a sedative tablet ... its more physical than mental. Still getting the body buzzing pretty bad in the morning too. My lips also feel buzzy but I think that is from the anti depressants.

[Petal22]

Hi Steve0,

Nice to hear from you 😊

Im sorry that you are experiencing nasty nightmares I understand that this would be distressing for you.

I can’t say if they are from the antidepressants or not but I highly recommend that you speak to your gp about them and ask for the gps advice.

I understand sometimes any stress can set off our anxiety. When you feel like your anxiety has started to increase try to put your attention on your breath…… follow your breath….. allow your breath to be your anchor….. slow down your breathing while you follow it, it will bring you back to the present moment.

Have you been able to see a psychologist yet? They will be able to help you with strategies for anxiety.

Always here to chat you… hang in there..

[Steve0]

Hi Petal,

Thanks, the wait for a phycologist is several months still. Not so easy to get into a GP either, weeks wait unless its urgent.

I Googled it and some say that it can cause nightmeres. But then Google can tell you whatever you want it to sometimes. I was interested to hear if others had experienced that same. Bad sleep again last night, not nightmeres but just very wrestless ... that's also been happening alot.

Yes I do the breathing .... it dosn't help that much to be honest but a bit I guess.

thanks for your reply.

[In_use]

Hi Stevo. I came to beyond blue last night for the first time for a very similar, horrific experience of psychosis. I wrote about it in the new threads under the heading disappointed. I cant even explain it properly, so I totally relate. You're not sure if it's real, if you're dreaming, or even have a brain tumour. To top it off you have migraines and sickness, as do I. I have Meniere's disease and it causes vertigo, nausea, confusion etc, so I think our illness is exacerbating our mental health. You're not alone I promise. Definitely get that referral for a psychologist. You can look psych's up on line and read what each is uniquely trained or skilled with to help you choose, rather than your doc randomly picking someone. I have terrible re-occurring nightmares also and I know my issues go back to childhood trauma. There will be an answer for you once you work with your new psych. I wish you the best of luck. Its absolutely horrid to feel so unsafe and insecure in the world, and you deserve to feel safe again. Take good care of your health and drink lots of water too. All the very best. Oh & please do try different meds if you feel yours aren't helping or you feel worse. It can take lots of attempts before finding the right one. Also ask about side effects like dizziness. Some are dreadful for that and it could offset your migraines and nausea.

[Steve0]

Thanks for your reply "In Use". I'm sorry to read about your experience. I go over and over mine. I went into my office just before ... that was a mistake. That's why I am back here, hoping somehow it might help me.

I rarely go into my office, only if I need to find something as it brings it all back and then the anxiety starts and the battles in my mind start. Who needs a place called hell when we have minds that can produce it.

I am not suicidal but sometimes I think death might be better. I find myself watching youtube videos about NDE's. I couldn't hurt those who depend on me and love me though. I saw something about Carl Jung recently were he said to reach heaven your roots need to go to hell.

It sux we arn't allowed to mention the names of the drugs. But I often wake up after a couple of hours sleep in this state of extreme agitation like I am going to jump out of my skin, I have to get up and walk around ... sometimes I don't get back to sleep until the sun starts coming up and when I do sleep I have bad nightmeres. All of this started recently.

Some days or some parts of some days I am ok. Seems like after dinner at night is the worst time. I don't think the drugs I am on are helping much, although I haven't had a hellish migraine since starting them .. I've had to abort a couple with other drugs but I have been able to mostly abort them or numb them. Sometimes in the past I can't abort them even with drugs and then its a trip through hell .. I can't even walk properly when they are bad, my chest squeezes really strongly in waves every few minutes, I vomit, sometimes over and over, I feel like someone different and then there is the knife in the head and it goes on for hours and hours .. it's another kind of hell. I fear those migraines, worst experiences in my life. Worse than bowel surgery by far. People think they are headaches, they are not headaches, a terrible headache is part of them. I wonder sometimes just how much a human can take.

I'm also on this "Keto" diet which is suppose to help with migraine ... happy to try anything. There is also some new injections available. Anyway .... sorry to rave on.

I come here for help but reading the other stories generally makes me feel worse, that's the truth. I think I am going to look for another place were I can talk more to other people like you, without restrictions.

All the best and good luck to you.

Steve