Ladies- and health professionals please bit of advice please

[startingnew]

ok so i have three questions to ask you...... i am quite embarrassed about them but i dont have anyone to ask outside of here and im not confortable asking my gp about them in person or via a note

1. if your on medications did that play around with your homones abit? in a good way or a bad way? did seem to affect your cycle at all? im on antipsychotics and anti depressents and im wondering what others experiences are...

2. so im 20 and im getting different stories as to when to start getting pap smears. ive been told many dfferent things such as the usualy every 2 years after activity, ive also heard you shoudnt get them until your 21 and then ive heard you should start to get them at 20 whether your active/ been active or never been activive at all? just wondering your experiences around that too please?

3. i cant seem to control acne esp around my cycle, its really annoying, i use clearasil twice a day plus they have intvented clearsil pads that you wipe on and leave on to dry but i still seem to have it, and as i often need massage therapy and chiropractic cares its really annoying and embarrassing. also how do you control your cramps?

[Just Sara]

Good morning ladies and anyone reading;

I genuinely apologise for my previous 2 posts; whoever reported them was right to do so. I would've done the same thing.

My rationale was to open up to encourage you SN to feel comfortable to talk about your abuse with confidence knowing you're not alone. As I wrote disclosing my 'list', I felt myself go into a bubble of sorts. I've never actually written anything like this before.

I felt alone as if nobody else existed; a similar sense of how I was during events as a child...detached. I spent the day in a state of numbness, closing my windows/doors/curtains and laying on my lounge in the darkness with my heater blaring.

I was grieving the loss of my innocence and womanhood - my 'femininity', the little girl and woman I could've been. We talk about our 'events' and trust in others being eroded, but rarely speak of our loss.

Self awareness and courage is needed for recovery, but can't compensate losing our personal power and right of passage through each phase of our development as females.

Although this thread began as 'girly' talk, it became an avenue of self exploration for me. It always amazes me that no matter how old I get or how well I think I'm doing, the issues continue to rise from (sorry for using this term TA) my internal abyss.

Abused men might want to get in on this subject saying they've also lost a part of their masculinity and suffer similarly, and rightly so. However 'as women', a space to discuss our feminine grief (and responses) could help alleviate or lessen related symptoms. Could I have some comments re this please?

Hi and welcome also to Abyss; your wonderful knowledge and expression is indeed a nice addition to SN's thread. (Not trying to take over SN, just doing my thing)

I'll close now; this has been a big 24 hrs for me.

I will address your questions SN as soon as I take a break.

Warm thoughts to you both...

Sara x

[startingnew]

You dont have to
apologise Sara
your story I read
and I honoured to know your story. It makes me feel proud that you
were comfortable enough to open yourself up to me! No need to
apologise

yes I know that
bubble feeling I went into that last night as well having some a lot
of flashbacks- not your fault I had other things running off the
forums as well
im sorry you spent
the day alone, your most welcome to use this thread for your own
benefit as well, im here as well as others to support you as well!
You my dear Sara
have so much courage bursting from you, I can feel it even through
the post. Please dont ever doubt yourself.
These things will
always haunt us but im sure together we can become stronger and learn
to cope the best we can.
You can use this
thread as much as you like Sara as in fact this is the 'girly' thread
and we can all talk about our issues openly or as best we can. Btw
your not taking over.




As for lessening our
responses and grief for this abuse- yes I do feel like ive lost quite
a fair bit.
Have you ever
considered doing things that you wanted to do as a child but never
did Sara? That way you still get to experince what you want ever at a
later stage in life- age really doesnt matter- if you want to go on a
jumping castle then you go on that bloody jumping castle!
Have you tried
journalling your thoughts and feelings as well to get them off your
chest that way?




Sending you big hugs
Sara- also I replied to you on your bouquet for pearls thread

btw if this isnt quite what your after as a response please tell me and ill think of something else 🙂

[The_Abyss]

Sara - It must have been really hard for you to put that list down, and even though it's no longer there, you had the courage to write it. It broke my heart to see what you had been through although my own list is probably as long. It's not something I've spoken to the psychologist about either, other than the flippant reply of "yes" when asked if there was abuse in my background. Providing details to strangers can be oddly liberating, even though it can spiral us back into the dark pit for awhile.

I didn't mean to intrude on a "private" conversation between you and SN. Part of my work involves women's health issues, and I used to work in another industry where it was obvious by some girl's reactions that they had been abused. If a girl tells me it's her first time, or that there has been previous abuse, I spend a lot of time working with her to get to the point of being able to be treated. As a fellow abusee, I can understand fully.

SN - try the community health if you are able. When paps are done, they also automatically do STI tests for anyone under 26 at the time of PAP. If yo are not getting concerning symptoms though, give yourself a break, and don't feel pressured. Did you get you HPV (Guardisil) injections at school? When you next see the GP for other reasons, ask for a script for acne. Many girls also finding being on the pill can help with acne as well. And as for cramps - the answers you get from google on this are as good as any - hot packs, pain relief, sometimes antiinflammtory or prescription meds, exercise, distraction....... and the list goes on. Hormone control can often also help with this too.

Yes, I am a newcomer, having only been here a couple of weeks. There are definitely posts that I connect with more than others, and find it amazing that our "community champions" don't get burnt out. The volume of despair in the forums could no doubt get overwhelming. Having said that, I spiralled out of control myself this week, but on my "good" days, found that following / commenting on other people's posts has helped me as well. Thank you for letting me participate in yours.

SN and Sara - Wishing you both all the best.

[Just Sara]

Oh honey...you made me smile;

I have done the jumping castle thing and reveled in chasing my nieces/nephews around an activity playground for littlies! I've started listening to jazz as it was a secret passion of mine growing up. Nobody else liked it so I didn't indulge till now; same goes for classical music and Impressionist Art.

I've been journaling since 1996 when my life hit the skids. If anyone got hold of those 20 or so books, it'd make for some very interesting reading! Ha ha...

And thankyou for your kind and encouraging words. I always knew you had it in you to take a supportive role in the lives of others on here. Spending the day alone was my right the way I see it so don't be concerned. I allowed myself to 'feel' that grief as I've never done that before. I've talked about it some, but never actually felt it. Expressing it on here allows others to read about my experience and know it's ok.

I've said I'm proud of you and meant it, but I'm also proud of me. Recovery as you say, is a life long exercise in getting to know ourselves better and living life as best as we can considering our past. I wasn't always courageous; my hell nearly ended me quite a few times. What makes us exceptional, (and this includes you) is our ability to get back up, brush ourselves off and continue on our journey.

As survivors of abuse, our challenges are undoubtedly harder to face due to not learning to cope as children; there's no time like the present though to learn those skills and pass them on to our children and others who care to listen. Kudos to us!!!

I'd like to talk about feminine power at some stage, but don't know which thread to put it in. I'll think on it and get back to you.

Sending grateful and sincere warm hugs your way...

Sara xo

[startingnew]

Impressionist art
hey? I havent heard of that but I love art too- I think many emotions
and events and thoughts can be expressed by art.
Haha with mine if
anyone got hold of my journals I think I would be sent straight to a
looney bin lol. And not n a good form.
Good im glad to hear
your smiling again if if thats your way of coping then please do
continue that 🙂
im so proud of you
too Sara everything youve been through and still fighting and sharing
your knowledge with other- truly inspiring





you can put it in
this thread if you like, I dont mind unless you start a whole new
thread on just that topic, really is up to you 🙂

[Simona]

Hello : ) I hope I'm not intruding. I just want to say that yes I think it would be a good thing to have a place to start healing through sharing with others. I can't talk about it in my own thread for some reason. I was a little girl under 10. It was a one off opportunistic attack.

I hope I don't trigger anyone I certainly don't mean to

[startingnew]

Hi Simona

feel free to share your story here if you like... only if your comfortable that is

it is very hard to talk about understand that so take your time

even if you dont want to share it, we are here for you too 🙂

[startingnew]

Sara - are you around- im sooo scared-id really like to tell you something and its scaring the crap out of me!

i dont know what to do!

or anyone else...?

ive just found a lump in my breast and its freaking the heck out of me!!

[The_Abyss]

Hey SN - I'm here.

I seem to remember you saying you are 20?

Let me reassure you that in all likelihood it's nothing. I'm not saying that without basis, I'm saying it as I know a lot about these things.

Young women have much more dense breasts than older women. Lumps are normal in almost every case. Breasts respond to hormones (such as when you have your periods due) by becoming lumpier or more painful. What current teaching says, is get to know what is normal for you and look for something different. That means, when you are in the shower each day, wash them with a soapy hand. Feel where they are thickened. Notice where there are lumps. Are the lumps there all the time, or are they only there in the week leading up to your period? It's normal for breasts to be different sizes. Dimples in a young woman can be normal (new dimples in an older breast need checking out). Discharges from the nipple can be normal in younger women, not so in older women. Bleeding discharges in any age can be a problem.

Younger women have lumpy breasts. I guarantee this is normal. In what area of the breast is it? Under the arm? Near the nipple? In the middle? If there is redness and pain around it, it can be a cyst (which would need antibiotics). Otherwise, relax. Get to know your breasts over the next month. Notice how they change from week to week.

Is there any history of breast cancer in the family? I'm not taking about a 60 year old aunt or an 80 year old grandmother. I'm talking about a thirty year old mother or 25 year old sister? If this was the case, an ultrasound would be worthwhile, otherwise, I can guarantee, the likelihood of it being anything other than normal is VERY remote.

Good on you for noticing a lump by the way! It means you were paying attention to your own body, to your own health. I know how much you fear heading to the doctor, so for now, relax. If the lump is still bothering you in a week or two, then get it checked out. In the meantime, take comfort in the fact that in your age, it is likely to be normal!

[The_Abyss]

Hi Simona - I know what you mean. Not something I'd share in my main post either, but somehow it feels safer over here speaking with other women who have been through similar experiences.