Ladies- and health professionals please bit of advice please

[startingnew]

ok so i have three questions to ask you...... i am quite embarrassed about them but i dont have anyone to ask outside of here and im not confortable asking my gp about them in person or via a note

1. if your on medications did that play around with your homones abit? in a good way or a bad way? did seem to affect your cycle at all? im on antipsychotics and anti depressents and im wondering what others experiences are...

2. so im 20 and im getting different stories as to when to start getting pap smears. ive been told many dfferent things such as the usualy every 2 years after activity, ive also heard you shoudnt get them until your 21 and then ive heard you should start to get them at 20 whether your active/ been active or never been activive at all? just wondering your experiences around that too please?

3. i cant seem to control acne esp around my cycle, its really annoying, i use clearasil twice a day plus they have intvented clearsil pads that you wipe on and leave on to dry but i still seem to have it, and as i often need massage therapy and chiropractic cares its really annoying and embarrassing. also how do you control your cramps?

[Just Sara]

This is a safe place hun;

I'm here in your corner; remember that. I've always said you can talk with me, I'm rarely shocked. You're starting to disclose things; this is a good sign. It shows you're learning 'trust'.

Just so you know, my first rape occurred when I was 11. There were quite a few after that, you're not on your own when it comes to sexual/mental/emotional/spiritual abuse, or the aftermath of confusion and fear.

I'm proud of you for your courage and determination. Also how you go out of your way to help others. You have a kindness in you that comes thru the pages. But today, I'm proud you've not abused yourself for a week.

I said I was emotional when I read this; I felt it in my heart. There are some who write in and post a couple of times and don't have the coping skills to continue, but you my sweet are a survivor like me. I'm proud too that struggles and challenges aren't in your too hard basket. You're a stayer, and I love that about you.

You're 'now' on the journey of 1000 steps, not like your first posts when you thought it would never begin. And; I'm here to witness it. Sigh...still smiling 🙂

Us women need to stick together. And yeah...I do sort of feel like a proud mum. Hope you don't mind.

🙂 Sara xo

[startingnew]

No sara not at all you can be my forum mum who actually cares 🙂

I wish i could show you some of my drawings on here but sadley it doesnt allow me to upload pics. I would love youropinion on it.

Im glad you can feel emotions through my posts though im not doing it intentionally think it just comes naturally in a way.

And Sara....thanks ❤❤❤❤

[Just Sara]

Morning hun;

It was a big day for me yesterday. I was on my laptop for many hrs. Thinking of you took up a lot of that time. Please don't take this as you being a nuisance; it's the opposite. You're doing it hard and working to move thru each stage as best as you can. My time then is given freely with positive intent.

When I see someone striving to recover, it gives me goals as well. Supporting you is a worthy cause in my eyes.

I spoke yesterday with some other champs about peer support vs mentoring. I guess I started out supporting you as a peer, but as time's passed, I see my role changing to a more personalised connection.

I have decades of experience and knowledge to part with to people who I see as determined to fight the good fight; you're one of those people. As I follow your story, I learn about me too. That's the beauty of this site. As you help others, you'll learn about yourself too.

Sometimes I write stuff and later in the day, it hits me. I think to myself; 'hmm...food for thought' Those days can be painful, but very enlightening and helpful at the same time.

I hope you don't mind me talking about me today. I thought it might be nice to get to know me a little better to see who I am underneath. Trust is earned, so the more open I am with you, hopefully, it'll encourage you to open up too. After-all, that's one of the gifts we instill here.

Considering your past, would you like to ask me anything about my life/trauma's to help you understand yourself a bit better; maybe those around you too. Having a mentor (pseudo mum maybe) to rely on could give you confidence with sharing and self awareness. Someone to go to when life sucks!

I'll be here on and off today, Saturday's my house catch-up day. Ideally I'd like to get my overgrown lawns/garden done, but it's not my fave activity due to arthritis. However, there's no-one else to do it.

I'm hoping you'll be able to spend some of the weekend with enjoyable social activities, or at least get outside to enjoy the sun to get some of that essential vitamin D.

Either way, be kind and gentle with yourself ok.

Take care my sweet...

Sara xo​

[startingnew]

good morning Sara

ive been out
enjoying the sun pity my injury is killing me other wise id go for a
longer walk, but I went for half an hour and was watching my sister
ride her scooter for an extra 20 minutes
your learning about
yourself... from my story.....? im not sure how...
yes I get those very
painful but enlightening moments such as today I was reading
soemthing earlier and it set me off but I thought to myself to be
constructive abit so im putting that forward. Today and over the past
few days ive realsied a lot of people are after coping strategies and
I have plenty of those even if they dont work on me they could help
someone else and id love if everyone puts in there ideas as well 🙂




I dont mind you
talking about you at all- I like talking to you just for being you
not just as a mentor 🙂 and im here to support you to, it works both
ways remember 🙂

[startingnew]

I do have a few
questions actaully if you dont mind me asking you, if you dont want
to answer then dont 🙂


was it someone you knew who raped you? Or just a random person...?
I fear men all the time do you? Does it ever get less frightening?
Did it affect you intimate relationships at all- im too scared to even think of arelationship and I honestly cant stand being touched at all not even by females- it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable did you or doyou ever feel like that?
Did you/do you still experience thos strange physical sensations or have they gone? its so very confusing for me

ill start with those ones 🙂

[The_Abyss]

Hey Starting New - good on you for asking the questions.

I was so sorry to read of your abuse.....I switched from wearing dresses to overalls as a small child to try and reduce the incidence of sexual abuse. I can also sadly relate to your "joy" of getting periods. Are you in a safer place now?

As for the pap, Family Planning has some great resources on their website: https://www.fpnsw.org.au/sites/default/files/assets/PAP%20TESTS.pdf

You are correct - you are due for a PAP test under current guidelines - 2 years after becoming sexually active, or 18, whichever is later according to the site. The good news is however that the starting age goes up to age 25 with the new changes due through in December.... for those that didn't have exposure until around 15. For someone that has exposure much younger, it it important to start paps earlier.

Have you tried a community health centre? They do PAPs as well, and always by a female who does them all the time. If you are honest and upfront, she can talk you through it and help you relax during the test. If she doesn't know, she may not be able to help you prepare mentally.

There are lots of treatment available for acne these days - GP definitely needs a chat for this one!

Regularity can be an issue for lots of girls - there are so many different products out there now that can help with this! The pill is the most convenient and reliable. Some people find implanon or depo works, but for others it creates more irregularity and uncertainty. A chat with a women's health nurse may help, but otherwise the GP for this one too. Could you visit a different town with a female GP? Otherwise just a simple conversation with your current GP - " I need a script for something for acne, and I need some control over my periods".

Hang in there.

[startingnew]

Do you knw what ive
just realised I was actually 14 not 16 as my mum and him were in a
relationship for 4 years and it started a year after they were
together so that would have made me 14 so it went on for 4 horrid
years.yes I get the power thing as everytime it would happen he would say I wanted it and even if I protested it I was liking it and those 2 sentences haunt me everyday. His exuse was your mother isnt giving me what I want (as im ny mother wasnt giving him what he wanted) and also that he was 'teaching me the facts of life' so id know what to
do when I got into my own intaimate relationship- I havent said that to anyone or even meantioned that either to anyone yet Sara.

it was
extremely confusing esp since – hmmm I dont want to say it but I
trust you enough to tell you as I havent meantioned this anywhere
else at all. But he made me.............................. do all
sorts of things that haunts me all the
time too 😞
I cant even have a lollipop otherwise I throw up!


 

[The_Abyss]

my heart breaks for you both.

[The_Abyss]

I'm not sure you ever fully trust again Starting New, but in the right relationship, you do appreciate touch and closeness. I still find myself jumping at unexpected touch, can't get a massage without feeling physically sick, took 20 years to feel comfortable enough to see a chiropractor or physio (and only then with my husband present), have huge difficulties with things in my throat, couldn't even swallow tablets for 20 years, feel sick with abusive sex scenes in movies (forget 50 Shades!!!), and have a host of sexual hang-ups. I don't know that I enjoy sex now, but I certainly don't fear it the way I used to. Time and trust do heal - or at least thicken the skin!

What happened to you (and to Sara) should never have happened, should never have been allowed to happen. It's not just the sexual abuse, it's the abuse of trust.

If it helps, please keep sharing, and if not, know that there are many more of us out there that know where you are coming from.

[startingnew]

SARA where has your post gone? did the mods take it down or did you as you werent comfortable advertising it? it doesnt matter either way ive seen it and replied to you. its about your comfort level as well so totally understandable i hope your doing well yourself....?

Hi the Abyss

sorry i didnt see your last post.. thank you for reading my story- not sure if you read sara story or not.

yes im safer physically but not mentally. i cant bring myself to even speak to my gp about getting any tests or anything done. its too much for me to handle at the moment.

i havent tried the community health cente yet but ive heard things come out of there thst they are the most pleasent to deal with.

i have to get a massage otherwise my muscles tighten too much and i get constant migraines and makes even more unbearable to live with.

i cant swollow tablets but that was before tha buse- ive very recently been able to swollow tablets as in those small m &ms that you can get in those tubes for littlies