I think my psychologist is a bit...odd.

Murmur · ‎03-07-2013

Not sure if this is the right place to post but it is the closest I could find.

I've recently started seeing a new private psychologist under the mental health plan (as I'm on a pension). But I am starting to question her methods.

Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely woman, very kind, listens well....but she's got some weird ideas. SHe's a little bit of a new age-y type, which is also fine, I'm pretty left of centre myself. But....ok, I had a traumatic experience last week and she just told me that the body is the body and sex is just sex. Not to beat myself up over it and just live. Ok, it wasn't anything really bad that happened but WTF? And also, upon discussing my artwork (I showed her some examples), she told me to get a "Sugar Daddy" to fund my work. When I said well as long as he didn't want anything else, she actually said "well what is wrong with that?" And laughed.

Is this appropriate behaviour? I don't think so.

caroline_ · ‎03-07-2013

If you're not comfortable with your therapist, and they make you feel uncomfortable, I don't think it's worth seeing them. I once saw a psychiatrist who was constantly negative towards me and actually made me feel even worse for seeing her. My advice would be to find someone else to see, especially if you don't feel like you could bring up your issues with her.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎03-07-2013

Dear Murmur,

Sounds like she's trying to get on your wavelength. I would stick with it. We all have our nuances. You should debate all this with the therapist - she's should be as open to feedback as you are. Trying saying loud "WTF ?" Obviously your stealthy asides are not making much impact. Getting up and leaving the room is a good option too. Most therapists get that message. I had one once that didn't !!!!!!

I guess, not to be too anal about your thread, it is appropriate behaviour. For the psychologist in question. Another psychologist might require you to hold a potted geranium during the session. Another might even be therapeutic.

Maybe using inappropriatenss is a psychological way of asserting the psychologists mettle and holding you like a pawn of therapy. Or, to reverse this arguement, maybe you come across as such a capable, strong, good looking, fiery, slap you in the face in you look at me the wrong way, secure and understanding type your new psychologist is comfortable with all her "Carry On Bonking" jokes and general "Where's Wally ?" or even "Where's Willy ?" remarks. We all know that "The Body" is Elle McPherson so what is she going on about ? Lol.

I think you should see it out. The next psychologist might be less able.

Adios, David.

PS We meet again - I hope this was not as confusing for you as before. Cheers.

Murmur · ‎03-07-2013

I think my problem with psychs is that I always try to be nice to them. This is stupid, as I am there for therapy. I think I will take her up on the whole thing next time - I mean, I really don't think it appropriate for a doctor of any sort to make light of an incident that may very well have been bordering on assault (the incident I talked to her about last session).

I'll try her again, but I'm not into this weird "free love" thing she has going. It is NOT the 70's. I am NOT that kind of person. I think the whole confusion has come from me being polite again.

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎04-07-2013

Dear Murmur,

Murmur: I think my psychologist is a bit......odd.

Psychologist: I think my new patient is a bit..........odd.

A meeting of minds. As I replied above, it might all work out for the better. Maybe a quirky psychologist is preferable to a boring one ? A balance would be good. If you want to challenge the psychologist take your young niece/nephew in for a session. A human touch and a good test of tolerance. And a good way of filtering any more unecessary talk about sex, the body and shagging Sugar Daddies.

I bet you have a different type of session. And the kids will love the attention. I sometimes take my border collie into my counsellor which means driving 30 mins in to Sydney CBD, parking in a multi storey, engaging with people in small lifts and walking the main streets. I notice that when we just charge into a semi packed lift no one says anything. But when I become all courteous and ask "Does anyone mind if me and my dog get on this lift with you ?" there will be a few objections. So, if you do the nephew/niece scenario just waltz in without explaination. The pyschologist will be doing the initialising of engagement for you.

Sorry for double dipping. For me, I'm not sure any psychologist would baulk at a dog or children entering the hour's therapy. They've got to work with whatever we turn up with. The baggage can be invisible or visible. Many therapy types extend beyond the 1 : 1 scenario.

Adios, David.

geoff · ‎09-07-2013

dear Murmur, well 'to get a sugar daddy' is a bit off board, and I hope that this was a humorous remark only said in jest, I don't know some people wouldn't mind that statement and only take it as 'trying to be funny'.

I tried another psychologist after my 20 year psychologist left, but I couldn't settle down with her, there was nothing wrong but I didn't feel comfortable with her.

When I was walking out she kept on touching my back, shoulder or arm, but she definitely wasn't my type, however the innuendos could have lead onto something different.

This of course would have been inappropriate and ethical medical conduct, however if she was 'the body' then Bob's your uncle.

I don't see her any more, but the staff on the counter always said to me that she is very good and it would be a good idea to keep seeing her, I disagreed with their comment.

My doctor has organised me to see a male psychologist, and that was about a month ago, but I haven't done anything yet.

After 20 years with one psychologist I am going to find it difficult to feel comfortable with someone else.

Murmur if you don't feel satisfied with her and her remarks there is no point seeing her. L Geoff. x

Murmur · ‎09-07-2013

It's difficult, because I had an AMAZING counsellor for 4 years but then I had to move from the area, and it was public health so unfortunately I was outside the limits of the area they covered.

Funny thing is, I think this new one wasn't joking.....yeah. I think I may well have to find someone else. It's hard when you are relying on free or subsidised services, it can be limiting.

I think the psych/patent relationship is very particular, and what is fabulous for one person can be terrible for another. I had another psych many years ago who was particularly awful for me, because whenever we talked about self harm, she would make a sawing motion with her hand across her wrist. It was at the least, distracting, and at the most, a trigger. I was too painfully shy to tell her so back then.

unfortunately I'm also the type who takes a while to warm up to a stranger, and having limited sessions with a psych as you do in the public health system, it makes me give up a little, before we have even skimmed the surface. Maybe I really am, as some doctors have said, in the "too hard box"