Grow Meetings

[amamas]

Hey All

I'm thinking of trying out a Grow meeting tomorrow.  Have any of you tried them?  I'm freaked out about it!!  I don't trust people and the thought of sitting in a room with a whole lot of them sounds far from pleasant to me.  But then I think they will be people like you guys on here and you are all totally awesome!

Love to hear if any of you have tried it and of your experiences - good and bad.

Cheers thanks amamas

[amamas]

Hey David

The Real David Charles is back (I was getting attached to In the Moods - as I said I really dig that!).

Man you make me laugh.  Feeling so much better!  I managed to take preventative measures before the beast took hold.  I thought if I stay here my day will belong to the beast so I hauled myself up and took myself out for breakfast.  Got home and still having a good laugh thanks to you.

I've been wondering if you've been to kiss the Blarney stone?  I've been thinking if your gift is all natural perhaps we could fund raise for mental health by selling a kiss the David tourist attraction.  I certainly find you have the gift of the gab a lot more than that cold stone that you have to contort yourself inside out to kiss.  What do you think?  It would only work with your permission of course (LOL).  Sorry just sharing my crazy thoughts.

Cheers amamas

[amamas]

Thanks CB

As you've probably seen I've postponed my big adventure to Grow.  Hopefully you'll be able to tune in next week to my thrilling update on how it went.

Cheers amamas

[amamas]

Thanks Geoff

You are such a beautiful caring person!  Do they delay posting the night messaged?  Last night before I went to bed I was thinking where's Geoff?  So good to see your message today.

You are like me in that you reading people.  I also find it fascinating!  The thing I hate about being able to do it is that what people verbalise so often doesn't match their expression.  I find it is hard to keep talking to them.  So often I feel like saying, any chance we could talk about what's really going on here because this feels like a waste of time.  Ironic huh me with so much time on my hands annoyed about that little thing.  Especially when I've taken to consciously lying myself in order to avoid the crap that comes from telling the truth.

I seem to have a lot to say today don't I.  Thank goodness I'm going to my psych tomorrow.

Anyway Geoff all I really wanted to say was thanks, you're really sweet and that hospital group sounds bizarre!  I'm sure the laughter was great - I've heard it's an awesome release.  Did they give you any support for after?

Cheers amamas

[Ponder]

Hi David,
The walking is going well thank you.  Yep I am up to 20 minutes: ) The Sun has been doing wonders for me.  It’s been so beneficial I started a new blog about my recovery and use it to motivate my passion of photography.  Thank You for asking … your encouragement as to others has been a huge help.

In response about the Grow comment I made.  I mean no disrespect whatsoever to people who have found much relief and hope through the act of praying.  I spoke further with my wife on this and we came to the following conclusion:

In our opinion, it’s rather a fact that various religious organizations have damaged many lives throughout man kinds history.  Forgetting about the warring factions of old, there are quite a large number of individuals that have suffered under the banner of the church through “Children’s Homes” I often hear of many gut wrenching storied on RN (Radio National –Australia) The government still investigates through various commissions the damage caused by such “organizations” … The we have issues with various no conservatives that borderline on cultish scenarios to which I too have had the pleasure of being dragged around. 

Now … I am being most careful not to name brand names here, however it’s the commercializing of religion that imo is feeding a new generation of mentally ill people.  It goes without saying that when it comes to my story, I am one of many that was beaten/brainwashed/abused under the name of a religious banner that was entrusted to care for me when I was a minor.  Again … Raido Nation talk a lot about the damage “The Church” have cause over the years.

I ask you to consider that in this light … that any Religious Organization should state that they are in fact Religious.  To acknowledge the very concept of religion is actually quite intimidating to a large sector of our society.  More often than not, those suffering at the bottom of the socio economic table … are crumbling under the expectations to the often unmet obligations required by the conservative rulers where politics and church have become one.

Kind of points to the attitude of those that stigmatize others with a welfare mentality … doll bludgers.

I am sorry if my view not explained in a way that is coherent.  I would not expect anyone that plays into Societies Way of thinking to understand me as I don’t even Vote.  My name was recently removed at the request of my Therapist and it’s exactly the way I like it.

BUT … I do feel that Church Organizations should stipulate that they are in fact a Church Organization when offering a service to the community.  I just did a word search right now … The about us page at the Grow Website .. and also what is Grow … does not even mention the word GOD! It does not mention the word Church, Pray or Religion.

My wife and I speculate that this is done for fear of putting people off!  Seems to be the way with many Religious organizations these days … much compromise is made in order to bring them in.
____________________________
You ask “…were "totally unprepared" for a religious situation to include praying. …”

I was not even advised it was a “religious based” gathering. 

then you further asked in your next sentence … “…Or do you mean "totally unprepared" for the trigger back to you families past trauma (which involved religion) ?”…

I mean I was totally unprepared for the fact I was participating under a structure with religion overseeing it … let alone standing up and holding hands … then praying.     

Was I unprepared … Hell, I about had a panic attack there and then! I derailed and my therapist and disability employment case manger both counseled me after the event.

If the organization was upfront about its Motives/religious instruction/God centered and Praying … then YES … that would go a long way to avoiding many of us having to suffer more angst than we need to.  The fact that they do not … only adds to it.

______________________________

With regards to people playing on being handicap … Organizations feed the people, and then the people feed themselves.  Goes Both Ways … without the Welfare mentality there would be less preaching to be done.  The missionary’s never really announced who they were when the Jesuits hit Japan, not long after … 35% of them where under church rule. 

I like your attitude Dave … I only hope your able to read what I’m trying to say … I know I don’t know much, … and I’m trying my best to get these points out without offending people.  I have nothing against the  concept of a higher power … and I believe many who subscribe to it in whatever sector, are very saddened at how political it’s all become … 

Your right …. There is nothing wrong with being unstable … it’s all a part of living this life.  I’m all about trying to be as accountable to myself … The world as we know it is not an easy place to get about, so much is thrown onto others, yet I say … the only person you need to answer to is “yourself”  Accept the illness and focus on moving forward.  Instead of taking pictures of things that are depressive … I instead make images of things that are positive … if you keep feeding yourself depressive thoughts then you only have yourself to blame.

Sorry for the long post David … I tried my best to be objective … I’m getting there and fully remain open to everyone no matter what they are into … all I ask for is a little respect back.  I believe Grow disrespected me by not informing the community of their religious based practices. 

Dave …

[amamas]

Hey Ponder

Did you take that photo of the dandelion seed head?  It's super cool!  It reminds me of when I was young blowing it and making lots of imaginative and wonderful wishes.

I agree with you about Grow.  They should make it known that they are religious.  I have nothing against religions personally, each to their own I say, but we as a 'consumer' have a right to know what we're getting in to.

I'm really sorry your experience was so triggering for you!  Triggers totally suck!  This is going to sound very strange but the trigger I react to the worst at the moment is ice cream trucks, long storey, bloody PTSD.  So I get a little of how you would have been feeling at prayer time!!

My Dad was one of those lovely missionaries.  We grew up in PNG.  I still remember the thousands of locals lining up on the riverbank to be baptised.  The church administration entering all these numbers in their little books - my how the church is growing in PNG.  Crazy! crazy! crazy!  I remember even then as a kid thinking how crazy it was.  A lot of those people entering the holy waters wouldn't have even known what they were signing up for. 

In my opinion it's not the beliefs of people that are the problem it's when they judge others because they don't believe they same.

Cheers amamas

[Ponder]

I'm hearing you amamas 🙂 ... Yep, I took that photo of the seed ball.  Was quite a job to getting it down to 6killabytes for my Avatar.  learn something new everyday I guess.

Its good to keep are minds young in many ways ... I should thank you for this post.  It's good for us to try and sort through some of the stuff we hold unto.  I'm also doing better with keeping others in mind when I write.  It sure can be hard, writing about things that go against the norm ... It's not that I want to persuade people, I'm just trying to make sense of things myself.  It's such a shame that we have so many groups and boxes ... it can really be hard to open up face to face but I want to meet new people, despite being fearful - I went to one of the local depression groups and religion had nothing to do with it ... however I still reacted ... and sent off emails and blew my chance there.  I guess I am just not there yet, when it comes to people. 

I just want to say ... I am amazed how many of us can communicate on the web, yet I am sure many others struggle like me, when it comes to dealing with others in public.  I'm hoping you know what I mean.  I want to remain truthful that I can't function much outside ... but WOW ... how this medium lets many of us express in ways we would never try outside it...... the feeding of it part can be addicted and I'm aware of that ... but just saying is all.

: )

[amamas]

Hey Ponder you are a photography genius!!!

Yep like you I'm no good with people on the outside.  Funny thing is when I'm having a smoke tucked away in my little isolation corner as all smokers are these days I'm really social.  I happily chat away to my fellow isolated smokers.  I can do it because I feel safe I know when my smokes finished so is that relationship. Man that sounds bad in print!!

I agree with you about the web chatting we all sounds like these open chatty people.  I bet if we were all physically in a room together we'd need meds, psychs and who knows what else.

I try to look at it that this is a start. Was it Winston Churchill that said this is not the beginning of the end but it is the end of the beginning?  Something like that anyway.

How's that sound?

cheers amamas

[geoff]

dear Amamas, lovely, thanks, no there was no support what's so ever and it's a place for 'mentally deranged' people, I shouldn't say that, it's a place for people who can't shake this beast off.

With regards to the GROW meeting you may have been OK going if one of us went with you, then we could talk about it before going, and make ourselves relaxed, then we could share the nerves.

When my twin and I were meant to go to 'sunday school' we had the football hidden from Mum and off we went to the park near the school and played kick to kick, bought a bag of lollies and had the greatest time, went home but Mum knew that we didn't go, don't they always know.

Our marriage had to be ecumenical because my parents were worried that I was marrying a catholic girl and I was church of england, ha, we just wanted to tie the knot.

It reminds me of some film where the couple wants to get married in a hurry and they keep pushing the priest saying 'I do I do yes yes hurry on get on with it', somebody will know the name of the movie. L Geoff. x

[amamas]

Hey Geoff

Rock on the mentally deranged people I say!!

I like your church story about you and your twin.  Once I knew I wanted out of my parents church I used to do many things to get out of going, including locking myself in the bathroom.  That stuffed them because Dad being the pastor couldn't exactly take the time to get me out!  I also used to sneak out of church and it would have been a lot healthier if I'd taken a ball to kick around like you and your twin did.  But I used to take my offering money and any other coins I'd found lying around and buy a packet of smokes.  Then I'd go for a walk to get some "fresh air".

So beautiful Geoff how are you coping with your birthday coming up?  I don't know about you but I often crash pretty low on my birthday.  Do you have any plans for the day?  

I agree with you about Grow being easier with one of you guys there with me. Maybe I could take my laptop and post as I go.  Only problem is the moderator would need to be very fast so I could hear some answers coming through.  Other tiny problem I'd need people to be online at the same time.  Failing that I could always find another mentally deranged person like myself that lives somewhere near me hey

Your crazy marriage story reminds me of when my cousin got married many many years ago.  Like your experience her hubby to be was a different religion so they weren't allowed to be married in either of their churches.  They married in an anglican church I think it was (I was a bridesmaid so you'd think I'd remember - PTSD brain).  They wanted my Dad to marry them but Dads church wouldn't allow it.  So married in a different church, my rebellious Dad took the ceremony, the local church pastor stepped in for the formalities/signing etc.  Crazy, crazy, crazy!!

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again - We are the ones that are classed as mentally deranged and these are the normal ones?????????????

Rock on us mentally deranged people!! (Sorry to repeat myself there Geoff - seem to have a touchy spot going ding! ding! ding!)

Cheers amamas

PS I'm not the one who knows the name of the movie....it was in one of the Robin Hood's and also in SHREK but both times it was the baddie trying to rush things along so certainly not the same

[Ponder]

I saw whatever works for you is good amamas : ) 
About making relationships ... the hard part can be knowing when to let go, when you meet someone you click with.  Trying not to be needing ... and not wanting to be to guarded ... I think I go from defensive, straight into opening up ... but If I don't think about it too much I might be right.

There is a place called the Clubhouse I am thinking of waltzing into ... might ring first or check em online ... and or a community center that has a writing group which could be a good thing for me.

I'm going to give a little thought ... might make it part of a walking route.

 
Dave
http://photographyformentalillness.blogspot.com.au/