Going into hospital for TMS - how do i tell my friends and family?

[josh88]

Hi, I'm really really unsure about it, but my psychiatrist is recommending that I be admitted into a mental health hospital in a couple of weeks and undertake 14 days of inpatient TMS therapy. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I know I need to do something to feel more happy from my chronic depression. How do I even have this conversation with my family, friends, or even work, about needing to go into a mental health hospital? I feel really embarrassed about it. I'm not the sort of person who wants to talk about my mental health struggles. Should I talk about it though? I'm really confused with what to do in this situation.

[therising]

Hi josh88

I'm not sure if it will help to change the perception you have of yourself, so that it makes it a bit easier to explain things to others. While some may accuse me of playing with words, I've found that with mental health challenges it's so incredibly important to do just that, especially when it comes to how we define our self.

The perception: I am not simply my brain, my brain with all it's neurons and electrical currents is a part of me. I am not simply my chemistry, my chemistry is a part of me. I am not my beliefs and perceptions, they are a part of who I am, unless I change them in favour of other beliefs and perceptions. My body's energy systems, such as my vascular system, muscular system, endocrine system etc also go toward making up the whole of who I am. If you're a soulful person (not everyone is), you could throw some soulful element into that too. So, when explaining to people what parts of you need attention, you could consider saying 'It's gotten to the point where I need to do something about the way my brain's behaving, based on it making my life so incredibly challenging. There's a therapy that's designed to help, called TMS'. Having done your research, you can go on to explain how TMS works. A little out there but you could even phrase it as 'I'm taking my brain for TMS therapy, so that it stops behaving in such a depressing way. I've been told I need to keep it at this particular place for 2 weeks straight, for treatment and observation. Unfortunately, we can't be separated. I gotta go along with it'. That's one way to look at it.

If you're not sure about the TMS therapy, maybe this is something you could discuss with members of your family and/or friendship circle. I've found it pays to be surrounded by open minded wonderful people. What I mean by this is when I find myself in the presence of people who love to wonder, it becomes about brainstorming for ideas, wondering about whether any of those things will make some difference. Some ideas may be inside the square and some may be outside of it. Either way, it pays to wonder. Personally, I'm a gal who'd struggle horribly if I didn't have a group of wonderful people in my life who are enthusiastic participants when it comes to getting to the bottom of why I feel the way I do at times, especially when it comes to managing depression or depressing factors in my life.

Unless you've got a good relationship with your boss, your reason for leave is your business. If you require a medical certificate, mental health practitioners are aware of people's need to not reveal the reasons for sick leave on a certificate (mental health reasons).

[Oshinxx1]

Hi Josh88,

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and decisions to be made whilst dealing with your depression. I personally believe it comes down to the relationships you have with everyone that you mentioned, do you have a good relationship with your Psychiatrist and do you trust them? They will have knowledge that you may not and being able to follow their plan for you may take some trust, a leap of faith if you will. Having said that, it is your life and you have every right to ask many questions and be as informed as you can. Another consideration is knowing when it is depression or anxiety driving ones thoughts on wether to have treatment or not, this is something your Doctor should be able to work through with you. 

With family, I will assume you have a good relationship and they love and care for you deeply and want the best for you. It may be uncomfortable at first but having family support with help you on your journey. 

If you feel comfortable sharing your experience with trusted friends then be as honest as you feel comfortable being. Not all people are able to handle discussions about mental health therefore it would be up to you to know who would be best to share this with.

Work can be a tricky one, depending on what you do, you shouldn't have to tell them what you need the time off for. Work dynamics can be difficult to navigate and revealing mental health issues can sometimes be used against people, unfortunately there is still stigma out there.

Easier said than done but you do not need to be embarrassed, mental health struggles are so common and impact people from every different parts of society. You are being proactive about your health and facing difficult decisions and uncertainty to get help, I think that makes you a special strong person and you should be proud of yourself.

All the best.

[alasdayr]

Josh88,

I've had 3 rounds of TMS and will likely need many more.  TMS is usually recommended for treatment resistant depression, among other things.  This means, you have likely been diagnosed with depression for a while, sought help and that help has not managed to make enough difference to pull you out of the depression.

By now, your family and friends should know that you have depression.  They are most likely happy and relieved that you are getting help.

Would you be embarrassed needing to go to hospital to treat a broken limb, or a illness like a cancer?  Psychiatric hospitals are to treat brain issues the way regular hospitals are to treat physical body issues.  Just because you visibly see the problem with body part that needs help, does not make it any less deserving of getting that help.

TMS is a non-invasive way of stimulating targeted areas of the brain.  In the majority of cases it has no permanent side effects and few short term side effects or complications.

The way I explain it to others is comparing the brain to a muscle and the TMS as a TENS machine (as would be used by a physiotherapist to treat muscle injuries).  If a select muscle has atrophied or been damaged, one of the best ways to repair/re-grow it is exercise.  However, it is very hard to activate and exercise a single muscle.  In these circumstances, a physiotherapist will use skin mounted electrical contacts connected to a TENS machine.  The TENS machine, via the contacts, activate the appropriate nerves to contract the desired muscle with the required intensity and frequency to best exercise it and stimulate growth.  This is painless, but very effective.

TMS uses a targeted magnetic field to stimulate very precise regions of the brain to stimulate growth and re-connection.  Just like exercising a damaged muscle.  The TMS specialist know the region of the brain to stimulate and how to find it.  The intensity of the magnetic stimulation is tailored to your need.

For me, TMS is like a gentle tapping on the head.  It is gentle enough that most of the times I would dose off or even sleep through sessions.  Others watch TV, read or listen to music while having TMS.  The only after-effect I had was slight light headedness that would disappear within minutes.

You can tell family and friends, a) not to worry, b) you are getting help, c) the treatment is safe.  If they want a good description of TMS, have a look at the mayoclinic.org website.  (Google "tms mayo clinic").

The usual reason for inpatient instead of outpatient TMS is to ensure safety, monitor progress and keep observation in case the TMS triggers problematic behaviors or coping mechanisms.  I have had an incident where TMS "woke up" a dormant coping mechanism, and being inpatient at the time was helpful.

I found having a good way to explain TMS very helpful in keeping family and friends that care about me informed.  They seemed to appreciate the information and made efforts to keep in touch throughout my treatments.