Feeling violated by treatments

[Ovait]

I have suffered with depression & cognitive deficits for the past 2 years since a mild traumatic brain injury. This injury has turned my world upside down with unknown future implications. I have lost my job, my career, my identity, my home. Depression (& SI) seems a perfectly rational response to me.

Over the past 2 years I have been hospitalised multiple times (usually involuntarily), been diagnosed with as many psychiatric illnesses as professionals I’ve seen (all based on nothing more than subjective observation & most not resonating at all), subjected to lengthy rounds of ECT & made to take countless medications that proved completely useless in curing let alone helping me. Whenever I’ve questioned “why” re a diagnosis or treatment I’ve been labelled as having no insight or being narcissistic thinking I know better than my doctors.

My cognition has now improved to the point that I can read again. In my reading I am discovering evidence from expert psychiatrists & researchers regarding the harmful effects of ECT (that it is basically causes brain damage to the frontal cortex which accounts for my trouble with some higher executive functioning that wasn’t evident pre ECT) & that antidepressants aren’t any more clinically significantly effective than sugar pills in treating the “chemical imbalance” of depression (a theory that the World Health Organisation among others has refuted for many years due to lack of scientific evidence) & are basically neurotoxins that lead to long term physical changes to brain structure. And don’t get me started on the violation of my human rights being involuntarily detained in hospital. We don’t detain medical patients who refuse treatment so why do it to a psych patient?

I feel completely violated. These so called treatments have created an almost PTSD state in me. I have faith in the “talk therapy” I get with my psychologist but I have completely lost confidence in the pseudo scientific treatments dished out by psychiatrists. All they have done is delay my recovery by refusing to entertain the idea that I might actually have a brain injury (which has now been diagnosed) requiring cognitive rehab. Now to hope that 2 years down the track isn’t too late for correct treatment.

Ovait

[Croix]

Dear Ovait~

I'd like to welcome you back, and remember your posts in Is it wrong to not want help?

Here, unlike there where you were undergoing various therapies that at best did not help and at worst were possibly harmful, here however you have mention some hopeful things.

First your brain injury has been recognized, which can now of course be used as the basis for more appropriate treatment

Secondly you have found that talk therapy wiht your psychologist is of benefit. I find the same with my psych. It has become a mainstay for me.

Thirdly you have hopes that a more realistic avenue, cognitive rehabilitation, may help.

This is a long way from the situation you were in before.

I can well understand you feeling violated. Sadly mental health diagnosis and treatments are not always right, and surprisingly often clients do know themselves better than doctors. Perhaps I'm wrong but I suspect the involuntary aspects were in response to a fear you were suicidal, which is at least understandable, even if the measures taken as a response were wrong.

The fact you are now able to research and judge your findings yourself seems a great step forward in your cognitive ablities. I really hope that improvement continues until you are your old self.

You did mention before that while you were not living close to your family they were supportive, particularly your mum, is that still the case?

Also as your functions have improved have you been able to resume music lessons?

These two may seem sort of evading the point questions however I found both the support and something I could do that occupied me and gave me some sense of accomplishment was necessary.

I hope we can keep on talking

Croix

[Ovait]

Hi Croix,

The most frustrating thing I have found is that for the past 2 years I have been jumping up & down requesting neuropsych assessment & cognitive rehab, questioning the chemical imbalance depression theory as the reason for my cognitive deficits when drugs weren’t helping & asking for evidence to support the more ridiculous diagnoses (what’s wrong with the Occam’s Razor theory - MTBI & reactive depression?) only to be ignored & told doing these things just proved how mentally ill I was ... which made me even more depressed with no hope of ever recovering. I’m still not sure I will ever fully recover but at least I’ve found a GP who is willing to explore other options.

I have been living with my parents for the past 18 months. My mum is supportive but, having lived away from home for nearly 30 years, I find her care can be intrusive....& it’s a reminder of my failure as an adult that I actually have no where else to go.

I have taken up music lessons again. I have difficulty remembering the music which I find frustrating. My instructor has the patience of a saint though. Not sure there’s any sense of accomplishment yet.

I have to wonder how many other people are misdiagnosed & mistreated ... would we accept the same level of error & guess work from an oncologist or cardiologist? Are diabetics given insulin without checking blood chemistry 1st? Do we force other patients into treatment against their will when refusing it may lead to poorer prognosis? No!

Why is psychiatry deserving of leniency?

Ovait

[therising]

Hi Ovait

Education is definitely key to self-understanding. One of my all time favourite books is 'Becoming Supernatural' by Joe Dispenza. It's definitely worth a read if self-education has become your thing. Whilst the intro is a little on the personal and spiritual side of things, this guy is amazing how (for the rest of the book) he takes mind/body/spirit and translates it into neuroscience/epigenetics/quantum physics. He has the ability to take complex aspects of self and translate them into easily understood relateable terms. I love this truly empowering man because he is into the incredible power of the human brain. I have all his books, including 'You Are The Placebo' (very interesting indeed).

Another guy who approaches well-being from this angle is Bruce Lipton. He's been making incredible discoveries for decades, in the way of self-empowerment.

Whilst this world still generally continues to focus on the mind/body connection, spirit or quantum physics remains a largely ignored aspect of the triad. With all living things being comprised of energy, ignoring this energetic aspect of self perhaps explains why, when it comes to mental health issues, we can be left feeling somewhat disconnected from life.

Take care on your journey of self-empowerment

By the way, as a mum, I can tell you that mums often can't help doing that doting protective thing for as long as they love their child (no matter that child's age). Such a relationship forever remains a learning process for all involved.

[Croix]

Dear Ovait~

Look, you are absolutely right, if it was a cardiologist a different standard would be expected. Sadly although to be a psychiatrist does involve a great deal of formal study the results can be mixed. I've been lucky, you have not.

I guess there is a pinch of truth in the old saying: if you have a hammer every job looks like a nail and thus specialists may tend to think in terms of their own specialty.

While it is of no comfort to you there has been a shift in thinking in the last few years where the client's whole life, circumstances and the influences in it become matters to be considered, one is now less often regarded as this diagnosis or that , and more a person with various symptoms.

Perhaps more importantly there is a movement to regard the client as the expert in themself.

This of course does not mean psychiatric diagnosis does not still have a most important place, but at least clients are more listened too.

I cannot see how "failure" comes into this, being able to have good relations with ones parents and be able to rely upon them for help shows an admirable family. I was never able to maintain good relations with mine, quite the reverse.

I honestly think from the tone of you posts, that you will rebuild what has been taken from you and should you wish in time you will live elsewhere. True your mother may be a little hard to bear, I think though Therising has a valid point, both offspring and parents need to keep on learning how to express love.do oyu think a talk about dignity with her might help?

Taking up music again is an accomplishment in itself and I'm sure you will get somewhere with it -and derive please from doing so. I'm glad you have a good instructor, it does make a big difference when things do not seem to be going right. As far as I understand it muscle as well as cerebral memory plays a big part.

Croix