It's three weeks since my Dr doubled my AD dose; the previous four weeks I might as well have been popping jelly beans for all the difference they made. Since that time I've had a couple of random bursts of feelings of wellbeing - just out of nowhere, and just for a couple of minutes - then gone.
Friday last week was actually a good day - I felt somehow lighter, clearer in the head, more positive, and feeling like I could potentially enjoy something. It lasted all day, but I was back to "normal' the next day. Today I feel rubbish - like I'm a complete blank, like I'm wading through molasses, like everything I do is an effort of will. I don't know if experiencing something better on Friday for the first time in decades is making the contrast with days like today more stark, or if today is actually worse than "normal". I just want the day to be over and for tomorrow to be better.
I don't know what I expect anyone else to say... I just wanted to tell someone I know would understand what I'm feeling. Blah.
