Depression, isolation, support other than medication?

[Mares73]

Hi there I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety & depression years ago following trauma experience. I have seen a psychiatrist for 6 yrs. After trials of many antidepressants & augmentation meds, I now am on a cocktail of meds & described as "treatment resistant". I am now being trialled on a stimulant med and a antipsychotic to augment my antidepressant. I have never had support such as strategies for the disabling depression & anxiety which overwhelms me to the point I don't want to leave my house. I have become very socially isolated, cutoff from past friends, given up my high achieving job & find myself isolated in house everyday unable to face the world. My husband & kids are unable to understand & are frustrated at me not engaging in any activities. I feel so alone, wasting my days, full of self doubt & low selfesteem. I don't know what to do anymore. I may need proper counselling & strategies to deal with my problems apart from the cocktail of medications I'm on. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to find a good therapist in the Paddington, or Bondi Junction area of Sydney? I feel desperate. My anxiety is totally ruling my life & everyday activities such as opening mail have become overwhelming. I've never had therapy to deal with my trauma which resulted from a stranger rape, the suicide of my alcoholic father (who abused me as a child; abuse by a priest & then my husband having acute leukemia which he's on treatment for. I have two children aged 9 & 14. I feel a failure in so many ways, although do many people comment on how well I have raised my children. I experience self hate & hopelessness at my inability to deal with my anxiety & depression. I used to be such a high achiever & had high expectations of myself. But now I feel reduced to a shell-anxiety & depression feeling as though it's bigger than me. I'm very lonely although I admit I have isolated myself. This is the first time I've ever reached for support outside of my medication focussed psychiatrist. I would appreciate any suggestions & especially any advice on finding a psychologists or physchotherapists  in my area. Thankyou for reading, best wishes to everyone on their journey. Mares

[beyondblue_Online_Communi]

Dear Mares73, well done for posting here on the forum, it takes bravery to reach out and you sure have that. It sounds as if you are having a really difficult time. There are medications that can help and sometimes it is hard to find the correct combo and dose for each individual. There are other things that can help too. Some of the psychological techniques can be of great benefit for people. Some people use them in conjunction with meds others prefer these techniques alone. It is really what suits each individual. It is really worth going to your GP and asking him or her to refer you to a local therapist. If you get a mental health care plan from you GP medicare will subsidise the sessions (some sessions may be free depending on the number of sessions and the fee of the therapist). It is worth talking to your psychiatrist about this too. Let him or her know you would like to try some psychological therapy to support your recovery. They should also be able to make a recommendation or referral. It may be worth you husband and children seeing somebody too- perhaps a session for the whole family or just you and your husband. When somebody in a family is ill the pressure if on for everyone, so support for the whole team can be really helpful. Keep reaching out, you have taken a great step by posting here. Psychological techniques really can help. Please let us know how you are going.

[kitping]

Found 1 URL
Hi Mares73, I can relate to you regarding the issue of social isolation due to depression and anxiety, and only recently started reaching out through this beyond blue forum and found an online & phone treatment course using cognitive behavioural therapy. It's only my second week of the course but I find I understand more about my condition of depression and anxiety, though I still haven't engaged in many activities and am home most of the time. This is very difficult as, like you, I used to be a high achiever in my business, but have to stop work to recover. I'd like to support you as I understand how you feel. You might also like to try the mindspot treatment course if you like. Regards, kitping

[angrysad]

I second the suggestion to see your gp

[geoff]

dear Mares, hell what you have had to go through is astonishing, and everyway you turned it ended up being so traumatic and devastating, I can't believe how frightening all of this must have been, and it's not even an inch closer to being over.

Unfortunately I don't live in Sydney and I'm sure that BB or Christopher will contact you personally in regards to this.

You have so much to deal with from the past and now the present, but they are all combined.

I can't say how sorry, but more so, how upset I feel for you to have to suffer from all of these tragedies and awful events, and I hope that you can find someone who has the compassion to understand these very major concerns you have.

I know that it will be difficult for you to keep us in touch, but I believe that it will help you along your journey, so please do. L Geoff. x

[BennyBoy]

5108,

Hi Mares73 🙂

I can understand a lot of the things you are going through and there are many ways to deal with your feelings. I noticed in your post you where stating about how you where a high achiever and had goals in life before a lot of this.

I think a lot of anxiety can come from expecting things from your self like having goals. This might sound strange but from a Buddhist point of view expecting yourself to be a certain way or another. Then being mad at yourself if your not causes so much unneeded suffering.

Please remember that your self worth is not determined by the job you have or car you drive. We are all worth exactly the same not a grain more or less. 

Additionally to seeing a your GP maybe consider taking up meditation this can include anything from walking along the beach (walking meditation) to the more traditional types.

May you find some peace 🙂

Thanks Ben.

[Chris_B]

Hi Mares73.

You can use the practitioner directory on our website to find a therapist in your area - it's searchable by postcode as well as therapy type, what you're needing help with etc. 

Go to the "get support" tab at the top left of the page, and click "find a professional" to take you to that section.

best
CB

___________________________________________

Online Community Manager

[Mbuna]

Hi Mares73

I look at your post and go WOW. You say you think you are a failure in many ways. I don't see a failure at all. I see a woman who has suffered from some serious trauma in her life, yet she has still managed to hold down a high achieving job, raise two kids and look after a husband with a serious illness. A person who can achieve all this is an inspiration in my eyes not a failure. I found talking about my problems helped me immensely. I hope it helps you as well. I really hope you can find the right therapist. Depression can be a horrible and debilitating illness but don't let it consume you. A person who has managed to achieve what you have in life deserves to be happy. I have faith that you can beat this.

[Mares73]

Thank you so much for your support-especially Geoff who is always to be counted on. My story is in my original post. My problem at the moment is being on such a cocktail of meds that I'm an anxious wreck. I know beyond blue lists practioners but how do you find a good one? My experience hasn't been great-scripts and not much else. I'm in eastern sydney. I cannot even have a shower and get dressed-I'm struggling to function. Yet if anyone came to see me they'd never know how bad I am as I hide it well -apart from wearing the same clothes for three days. I'm now feeling like a loser for struggling with simple tasks like washing, cleaning etc. I keep hoping tomorrow will be better but I'm so isolated and have no one to talk to. As I mentioned I used to have a high achieving career, then I fell apart when I was assaulted by a stranger. This raised the childhood abuse I suffered from my father as well as abuse by a priest I went to help for. My father then committed suicide and my husband has acute leukaemia. I also have 2 kids aged 9 &14. I feel so lost. Everyone used to tell me I was so strong but since I stopped working I spend most days in house lost as to what to do. I'm glad I found this forum. Today I feel like I'm losing my mind. Also wanted to say how open and lovely people are on chat sites such as this. Wouldn't it be great if there were support groups as well? My family has the attitude that "just pull yourself together"-I wish it was that simple. So today I'm desperate and will pro ly spend day online where I feel understood. Days like today I really feel if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't want to live this way anymore. I can't remember the last time I felt happy. I just feel like I'm a drug experiment case for my psychiatrist. Being on an SNRI antidepressant, antipsychotic (to augment it), benzodiazepines, sleeping tablets and now a stimulant is making me so anxious. For someone like me who suffers depression and severe anxiety-the stimulant is making me feel more anxious than ever. I'm going to stop it. My psych said "hopefully the stimulant will make you feel happy"- that couldn't be further than the truth. It's a terrible medication if you have anxiety. My husband is away all the next week so I don't know how I'll manage just me and kids. But my kids are looked after so well by me and I can do anything for them. It's me I have a problem with. My husband keeps saying I need to see a trauma therapist to work through what's happened to me but I don't know where to find one & I'm nervous about finding the right one. Geoff-I know I'm on a bad cocktail of medications and need a new psych desperately. I wish so much there was a place on the web that provided recommendations based upon experience. Sorry for the long post-very lonely & desperate & you people are my only "friends". Love m