Medication side effects help please

BarefootMama · ‎16-10-2013

Hi all,

I'm new here and this is my first post.

I have suffered from depression for many years and been medicated since I was 17 years old. I am now 39.

I recently (2 months ago) started taking an antidepressant after coming off another antidepressant due it not really doing it's job. However, I'm finding that it is causing me to have massive outbursts of anger and aggression. The psychiatrist says it's anxiety manifesting itself in anger. She gave me another medication to help ease those symptoms but that's only making me feel like a zombie and I'm struggling to get up in the night to my baby or to deal with my children during the day.

Anyway, today was the last straw. My 5 year old was having a meltdown over a splinter. I just could NOT cope. I yelled and screamed at him and it took me all my energy not to hit him. I know, terrible. I'm an awful person, a terrible mother etc. this medication is scaring me. I decided to stop taking it this morning - yes, I know you shouldn't stop cold turkey but I'm seeing the psych tomorrow and I'm hoping she can put me on something else.

Can anyone tell me if they've had these sort of side effects ? also, if you've taken it, how long does it take to come off?

I have never felt so out of control as far as my anger goes, ever. Please help.

Kate

geoff · ‎17-10-2013

dear BarefootMama, what ever this medication that you were given should be stopped and I know that cold turkey can have it's problems, but then you weigh up between anger against the effects from stopping it.

I'm not sure whether you were given SSRI or SNRI, but google this 'ssri and snri difference', and this may help you understand yourself what either can do to you.

Let us know how you get on. L Geoff. x

Ragnarok · ‎17-10-2013

Hello Kate,

Medication side-effects are fairly common, especially regarding psychiatric/psychopharmaceutical medications. There is a fantastic book titled Medication Madness by Peter Breggin (2008) that discusses the many adverse effects of psychiatric drugs. These drugs can alter your moods and behaviours quite extensively, and in some cases you may not be aware that it is the drug causing it, which Breggin calls "medication spellbinding". I personally started hallucinating after taking an antipsychotic, however at the time I had no idea it was the drugs causing me to see things until after I started to come down (which by that time I had been involuntarily committed to a mental institute, for which they gave me antipsychotics to treat my antipsychotic-drug-induced hallucinations). It's a good thing you are aware that your medication is causing your mood changes.

You said that two months ago your psychiatrist prescribed a different antidepressant because the prior one was not doing its job. Was there a washout period between the previous drug and the new one? Sometimes drugs can interact with each other and do unpleasant things. However, based on what you said, I believe (my opinion only) that it may be withdrawal symptoms from the prior drug. Did your psych ween you off the old drug, or just stop the prior drug cold turkey and start the new one? What your psych calls anxiety may actually be withdrawal symptoms from the previous drug. Breggin mentioned that for every year you are on a psychiatric drug, you should take a week/month (I can't remember which) to slowly taper down to prevent withdrawal symptoms. You may actually need to go back to your prior medication and slowly taper down if the mood swings or aggression get too severe.

P.S. You are not a bad mother. You are just taking bad drugs.

BarefootMama · ‎18-10-2013

Thank you both for your response. I contacted BB about their editing of my post because they removed all reference to the drug, even though I was neither promoting or discouraging it's use. Seems pretty pointless to me to ask for advice about a particular drug only to have it edited beyond belief. Anyway...

I went back to the psychiatrist yesterday who has removed me from said drug and given me a prescription for a new one. Joy oh joy. I'm probably not allowed to say this either but both drugs are SNRI's, which I have never taken in my life, until 2 months ago. The new one she has prescribed is also in this family so, even though she says the anxiety (which is what is apparently causing the anger) wont' be present with this new one, I must wonder.

I had the wash out period between the old one and the new SNRI, so I'm thinking that part is ok. She has also added an anti-psychotic at a very low dose which apparently acts as a mood stabiliser (I'm sure we all know what this drug is as they seem to give it to everyone these days) but that makes me zombie like, which is very helpful with children, I'm sure you can imagine.

Her other helpful (LOL) advice, even after witnessing me unmedicated completely and seeing just how horrific that was, was to stay off everything unless I feel I need it. I find this humourous, considering my history.

Please excuse my sarcastic attitude today. I'm angry. I'm annoyed with doctors and so called professionals and their inability to help me at the moment. My family is suffering and I'm suffering. I'm also pissed off that I can't just be effing normal like some people. You know? Those who can leave the house without having a panic attack or those who can cope with more than one child or those who seem to be able to look in the mirror and not wish they were dead. I'm just angry with life. Quite frankly, if I didn't have my children, I think I'd just call it quits. But I can't, obviously. They need me, which angers me even more because right now, I'm useless.

The withdrawal from the meds that were making me anxious/angry are HIDEOUS. Brain zaps, dizziness, tremors, nausea. I've never had withdrawal symptoms like it and apparently my dose was the lowest you can go without just stopping. So it's not like I could've cut down any further. Shitty hey.

I know there's a bazillion people out there who are going through this, just like me. I feel sorry for each and every one of them. How sad that there is so much misery in the world.

Thank you both for the references you mentioned too, I'm going to have a look.

Many thanks,

Kate

REM · ‎19-10-2013

Hi Kate,

Your post really caught my attention the other day. I specifically logged into Beyond Blue to seek out people who have experienced similarly adverse reactions to medication for depression/anxiety as me.

I too am 39 yrs of age, a mother and I can relate to what you are saying.

This is a complicated and nuanced matter and I would not dare to presume what is appropriate advice OR appropriate medication for any individual. I find it interesting, as you mentioned, you had the names of the medication/s edited out of your story by the 'Beyond Blue' forum. This is disappointing to say the least. Therefore we cannot have transparent discussion about an important health concern in a forum intended to assist people who suffer depression/anxiety and who are challenged in finding proper care for their health.

I have tried @ half a dozen medications for 'my condition', all of which have been detrimental to my health. I have tried 6 anti-depressants over @ 10 years; as you know these medications have evolved during this time. I have taken various SSRI's and my most recent medication was both a SSRI & SNRI.

At one time I was also put on an 'anti-psychotic' which is no doubt similar to, if not the same as the one/s,mentioned here. That particular medication completely wiped me out and turned me into a vegetable. I'm a single mother, I don't know how parenting in a household can be conducted by any variety of vegetable I'm familiar with.

I do not feel sarcastic at the moment, I am making light of a SERIOUS issue which no health professional I've encountered seems to take seriously enough. I feel cynical and dispirited at times as I have been researching and LIVING this issue for years.

It goes without saying that I barely took the anti-psychotic. Dreadful stuff for me (a good example is Ragnarok's reaction to an anti-psychotic).

After many terrible experiences with SSRI's years ago, I swore off anti-depressants. Many years later I was traumatised by a specific incident in my life which threw me into precarious mental health, so to simply cope with my responsibilities as a parent and function (let alone function happily) I thought I would try an 'upgraded' version of an anti-depressant, the SSRI & SNRI combo.

This medication I took longer than any other in the past. I thought, for the first time, it was working. It wasn't. In fact, it made me someone I am not - I am not an angry person and the last person I ever get angry with is my son. People are always commenting on how patient I am with him. On this medication I gradually grew more irritable. One can take a medication for a long time before any side effects become apparent. I took this one for over a year before I realised something was badly wrong and began looking into my medication situation. I experienced virtually every side effect of the medication, from physical shakiness, dizziness and nausea to memory loss, irritability, aggression, and unpredictable behaviour. This is to name a few. I quite literally was far worse off on the medication than not.

Each GP, psychologist and psychiatrist I have sought out for information has given me different opinions, advice and displayed minimum if any understanding of the condition I suffer from. I have no trust now in any health professional to really know what they are doing when it comes to my mental health. I have taken charge of my own metal health and continue to educate and inform myself as much as possible. YES, this is extremely time consuming, but I quite literally have no choice as my condition eats up all of my time anyway. I often wish I could be a coping person, a thriving person - instead of someone who struggles to get through every day, with so little support I can't yet move forward with my life.

I have gone cold turkey on 6 anti-depressants and each time experienced no withdrawals. However, I was prepared for withdrawals and I do believe it takes months, if not years to genuinely recover from these mind altering drugs. Not being medicated means the fact I do not experience side effects improves my quality of life extensively. At least I am able to say whatever I am experiencing is NOT being caused by medication, for me it makes the management of my condition less convoluted (by, for example, constant side effects or withdrawals).

I stress this is my personal experience, we are all individuals, so we all experience life differently. We are all in different life situations in terms of our support networks (or lack of).

The main PLUS I am aware of being 'unmedicated' is that at least I know whatever symptoms and unpleasantness I experience, it is my experience and it is not being caused by medication.

I have read "Dying for a Cure - A memoir of antidepressants, misdiagnosis and madness" written by Rebekah Beddoe, an Australian woman misdiagnosed with post-natal depression who experienced a shocking snowballing of psychiatric medications which in part resulted in her being institutionalised. I have read "Coming of Age on Zoloft" an American woman's story of being on an antidepressant for 10 years from the age of 19, so throughout her brain's continuous development into her 20's. Leading science now says brains are developing until the age of 30.

I know you are busy, feel awful and am not suggesting you read any of these stories unless you wish to. Neither would I suggest either of these woman has the same story as anyone else. The point is our stories have similarities and differences. We are all profoundly the same - BUT different in our chemical make up. This is why it is so difficult to prescribe and analyse across the board from such complex conditions as 'depression/anxiety'.

I simply urge you, no matter how desperate you are, to get a second or third opinion. Do not take my advice, please inform yourself and do not just take the advice of one doctor or one psychiatrist. They simply don't know it all, they are human and get it wrong like everyone else. Your mental health is so important to you and your family.

I have to agree with the above statement, "You are not a bad mother. You are just taking bad drugs."

Take your time with this issue and be gentle with yourself. Remember, it is not your fault. No one would honestly wish this condition on anyone, least of all themselves.

Thank you for sharing !

Chris_B · ‎21-10-2013

Hi everyone,

Sorry that some of you are disappointed at being unable to discuss specific prescription medications and dosages on the forums; it is one of our community rules, which we ask all users to read over before posting: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/community-guidelines

Our community rules have been created for the safety of all forum users.

The reason we've decided not to allow discussion of specific prescription medications and dosages is because the BB forums are not a suitable place to be seeking medical advice. We would always advise that you consult with a medical professional if you have concerns over the details of what you have been prescribed.

Having said that, there are experiences that are general to the taking of medications, and we do allow general discussion of antidepressants, antipsychotics, SSRIs, SNRIs, etc as you would have seen from the posts above.

A quick browse through the threads in the Treatments forum illustrate that it is possible to have valuable discussions about treatments (in all their forms) and how to cope without referring to specific prescription medications and doses.

best
CB

_________________________________________________________________
Online Community Manager

oneblackdog · ‎25-10-2013

Hi Kate

1. it's not you - it's the medication. Close your eyes and repeat after me "it's not me, it's the medication....", breathe in deeply, hold the breathe, breathe out slowly, breathe in and "it's not me, it's the medication"... Stand with your feet at shoulder width and turned out at 45 degrees, with knees slightly bent, breathe in slowly, hold the breathe, breathe out... breathe in, hold, "it's not me, it's the drugs", empty all the air from your lungs, push, push it all out, breathe in from your stomach first, then chest, hold, and out.... "it's not me, it's the drugs"....

2. antidepressants have side effects, for some of us they are extreme. My new dr tells me that the "clinical trials" of these drugs are only very short term (6 - 8 weeks long) and most trial results are discarded because they don't give the results the drug companies want - should I take my conspirisory theorists hat off now? may be sit down with a strong cup of tea and read some Robert Whitaker....

3. withdrawal effects can be even worse - some can go "cold turkey" but I took ten times as long as advised - but still less than 10%/smallest dose per month - and had a wild wild time while reducing and an even wilder time when off - the first time I lasted a few of months but HAD to go back onto antidepressants as I was unbearable to live with, and it took three drugs to get any satisfaction, this time (a couple of years later after constant increases in dosage and a prescription for something that "boosts the effect of the AD" that I wouldn't take) I'm 6 weeks in and "surviving" - the sudden outbursts of anger/rage are scary and if I'm not angry I want to cry.... and then there's the waves of vertigo or feeling like I'm drunk but with no sense of pleasure.... my new dr wants to see what I'm like without the drugs and then "deal with what's left"

4. my gp and psychiatrist didn't know/wouldn't tell me about side effects or more importantly, withdrawal effects. When I have energy, I get angry with them, but mostly with myself for not taking control of my mental health earlier, "see point 1".

5. a counselor also suggested homeopathy to help with the withdrawals but when I didn't immediately jump at this great suggestion - well, I kind of scoffed - she got angry...

Let google be your friend - there is a lot of info out there about withdrawing from anti depressants (both general info and for specific drugs).

As my previous psychiatrist used to say "just hang in there" Expletive!!!

See point 1.

OBD

Beetle · ‎25-10-2013

HI ALL

I thought i also chip in. I was so terrified of those said sideeffects of psychotropic drugs that i never in my wildest dreams would have asked for them. Until now when I became so ill that i caved in. If you look psychotropic drugs up in the MIMS ( which is the medical "drug bibel')u will find that noone knowds why those drugs work becasue its usually unknown. Thats scary. its saying in there "its believed the action of this drug is targeting receptor so and so etc pp.

Since we are all differnt we all get differnt side effects. A skinny person will get more effect from the same drug dose than a larger person. If ur liver or kidneys are not up to speed ur plasma levels of that drug stay higher up to toxity and can give you real trouble.What do u eat, drink, when u take the drug u take other drugs? it will all interfer with the drug action. Its mindblowing.

I guess im in a lucky postion, my drug works amzingly well. it kicked in after 2 days and transformed me from a suicidal heap into a breathing and walking human being. But i dont take any other drugs, have good liver and kidney function and I am skinny.

So what i suggest is : look those drugs up on proffessional websites. Look up the interactions, and everything else and see if u can do anyhting about it.

My experience told me you have to change docs if the only look at their PC screen and dont give u time to ask questions.I got my blood results printed out so i know what my liver function is. What my kiddey function is. Look it up , ask ur doc. GFRe should be greater than 90. If its not back to doc: kidney is suffering.

Sorry for the rambling. I feel sorry for everyone who suffers side effects and no doc who listens. I have been there done that and almost died.

So please google, ask and be brave. I know its impossible if u r in your black hole, but writing it down and taking a friend to the doc is very useful.

Sorry for the ramling, just thought it might be helpful......

beetle ( feeling better on new SRNI.)

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎25-10-2013

Dear Barefoot Mama,

You might be Barefoot but you are not Bare-brained. The amazing awareness you have and the great responses doe justice to the nature of BB. Welcome to the board one and all. We should be planning the Christmas Party by now. I'll bring the Tupperware. Lol. Disallowed edits make the Board go round. Sorry, square.

Maybe the frustration of getting a drug right, even a drug from Hogwarts School of Magic that "Cannot Be Named", is making life with kids more frustrating and probably affecting other domestic matters. I can imagine you burning the casserole and even kicking the cat which might, if kicked too hard, end up in the next casserole. Lol.

My kids are 19. 20, 21 and all very resiliant due to the macabre and sometimes abusive childhood living with a bipolar father and suffering the many admissions and drug related meltdowns and the odd Mary Poppins Days when I would do things of a more manic nature like take our oldest, who was 2 at the time, on a flight from Syd to Mel for a day as part of some 'Mystery Flight' when looking back I am horrified at my own lack of judgement and responsibility. Given my illness this was as bad as your over disciplining and I'm sure much worse has been forgotten by myself. My point is, and I'm sure the moderators are hoping I'll get there before Christmas, is that a childhood WITH a parent is like Christmas every day. And sometimes Christmas has Auntie Ethel come over who scowls at the way the socks aren't matched in pairs in the kids clothing drawers and asks you for the 100th time if you wouldn't have been better off marrying Tom Cruise.

The side of effect of most meds, in my humble yet direct opinion, is that you feel you have to control everything because, hey, I am taking pills. I am doing the right thing. But I still feel shitty. But, like the meds, your frustration and genuine human reactions have to come out from time to time.

Put it this way - if the working day was 5am to 1pm and partners were "forced" to be home with the kids in the afternoon arsenic hours would you even be suffering from depression and seeking answers from a question family life has provoked ? Or would you be saying "Actually I've got the afternoon at the local Spa for a full facial, body deep tissue massage and bit of a social with the girls, but I'm sure you'll manage the kids OK. There's an interesting casserole in the oven".

Adios, David.

PS One of my cats hobbled themselves and has a sprained paw. He is staying out of the kitchen.

BarefootMama · ‎24-11-2013

Hi all, thank you, thank you all so much for all your replies.

I've been a bit lost and hence been absent. I have just separated from my partner due to financial issues (although he sits in the next room on very good terms as today I had to ask him to come home and help me) and since being in here, I fired my psychiatrist after she changed my meds, yet again.

She put me on something that made me eat, ALL THE TIME. I know that could just be an excuse for me to eat but it wasn't the case. I was waking in the night. Eating. Eating things I didn't even like. Chocolate for one. Apparently very common with this drug. After 2 weeks I couldn't put my rings on my fingers so I sought advice from my amazing GP. She was stunned I had been put on this drug and has since put me on a new drug. Very new. "An orphan drug" she called it. I'm one week in and I know that's not long enough for drugs to work but I'm starting to feel scared that I'll never get better.

In the past, drugs have always worked for me but since becoming pregnant with my little girl who is now 16 months old, something has changed.

I'm just waiting for this new drug to work. Apparently you need to have liver function tests to make sure it's not damaging you so I'm crossing my fingers.

Today I wanted to sit here and reply to all of you, properly but I'm struggling to think. I can't cope. Today I told my partner that my kids would be better off if I weren't here. I have this horrible, heavy feeling in my chest and my gut, that feeling of dread that you can't shake. You all know it.

My baby doesn't sleep and this isn't helping either.

I'm so sorry for this messy reply. I just wanted to thank you all, for listening and for not judging me. I'm so glad I found this place. So glad.

x