New therapist... terrified to start over
- replies: 5
It's pretty early in the morning here.... I havent slept at all. I have just made an appointment with a new therapist & am terrified of opening old wounds. I've had years of therapy before... and was lucky enough to find someone I loved. It took a lo... View more
It's pretty early in the morning here.... I havent slept at all. I have just made an appointment with a new therapist & am terrified of opening old wounds. I've had years of therapy before... and was lucky enough to find someone I loved. It took a long time to get my story out...but I did - and in retrospect she saved my life. Things are different now.... and there are new challenges & needs to be met. But I can't deny the past and I know I will be faced with giving a history and context. I just don't know if I can do it. I find therapy hard.. in that - for an hour or so in the week... I have to peel back layers of self protection enough to be honest and real with someone... and let myself be vulnerable enough for the therapy to be useful. But on the way out of that office I need to pile all the masks back on...reseal the wounds... and slap on my game face.. because life goes on - and I have to put myself back together again to function in the real world. There's no point in doing the work of therapy if i can't be honest... but if I'm being honest- I want to lie...I want to skim over my life and fast forward to the "now" - like I do every day with everyone else - who can see there's a mess.... but would never know the extent. There's no real question... I just needed to "out" it.... thanks if you made it this far...