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Hey there, First time poster / long time reader. Was wondering if anyone has done 'internal family systems' with their psych. I've done for the past 3 or 4 sessions with great success and I thought I was making some great progress. But yesterday, whe... View more
Hey there, First time poster / long time reader. Was wondering if anyone has done 'internal family systems' with their psych. I've done for the past 3 or 4 sessions with great success and I thought I was making some great progress. But yesterday, when I was under(in the trance, as it were), something happened, where I saw a deep darkness, like a depression like no other; I had that depression before, 6 or 7 years ago which almost killed me, and I saw it again, in the trance, and it terrified the hell out of me. I got out of the trance and told her this needed to stop because I didn't feel like I had the strength or the tools to deal with what it was revealing but that still didnt stop me from having a panic attack after. I spent the rest of last night walking. Anyway today I've woken up and I'm still very bad and pretty anxious and I have the feeling the one might have when a wolf is that door. The beast is back and awake but hasn't broken in yet. I'm terrified of this therapy as well. Although well intentioned, it has opened up something that my subconscious has done very well to keep hidden or locked. So has anyone had some sort of similar experience? I'm at a loss as to what I do. I dont want to go see her again, but there is some part of me that feels like I have to encounter this beast if I am to make a recovery and find out what it is, but then another part of me that wants to forget about therapy and try distract myself with ordinary endeavours and hope that I go back to being normal. Its like there is an opportunity for healing or total destruction. High risk / high reward. Sorry, I am aware that the language I am using to describe my internal battle isn't as 'clinical' as some of you might like, but this is how I make sense of it all in language. Any guidance would be appreciated; especially any accounts of experience with internal family systems. thank you