Hey there, First time poster / long time reader. Was wondering if anyone
has done 'internal family systems' with their psych. I've done for the
past 3 or 4 sessions with great success and I thought I was making some
great progress. But yesterday, whe...
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Hey there, First time poster / long time reader. Was wondering if anyone
has done 'internal family systems' with their psych. I've done for the
past 3 or 4 sessions with great success and I thought I was making some
great progress. But yesterday, when I was under(in the trance, as it
were), something happened, where I saw a deep darkness, like a
depression like no other; I had that depression before, 6 or 7 years ago
which almost killed me, and I saw it again, in the trance, and it
terrified the hell out of me. I got out of the trance and told her this
needed to stop because I didn't feel like I had the strength or the
tools to deal with what it was revealing but that still didnt stop me
from having a panic attack after. I spent the rest of last night
walking. Anyway today I've woken up and I'm still very bad and pretty
anxious and I have the feeling the one might have when a wolf is that
door. The beast is back and awake but hasn't broken in yet. I'm
terrified of this therapy as well. Although well intentioned, it has
opened up something that my subconscious has done very well to keep
hidden or locked. So has anyone had some sort of similar experience? I'm
at a loss as to what I do. I dont want to go see her again, but there is
some part of me that feels like I have to encounter this beast if I am
to make a recovery and find out what it is, but then another part of me
that wants to forget about therapy and try distract myself with ordinary
endeavours and hope that I go back to being normal. Its like there is an
opportunity for healing or total destruction. High risk / high reward.
Sorry, I am aware that the language I am using to describe my internal
battle isn't as 'clinical' as some of you might like, but this is how I
make sense of it all in language. Any guidance would be appreciated;
especially any accounts of experience with internal family systems.
thank you