Hi,
This sounds a lot like me in high school. I knew I was depressed, but hadn't realised how much of it was related to anxiety. Like you, my parents would have done anything to help me, but that would've made me withdraw even more - as you are finding too.
There are many reasons why your daughter may not want to do it, and unfortunately the words 'lazy' and 'not trying hard enough' are used too often. I don't know specifics for your daughter, but I will share with you the problems I had in the hope that something relates. First I had a huge anxiety about people seeing things I had written. Sometimes I would even do assignments and then throw them out. I was also so exhausted after a day at school that I just wanted some down time. Everything was a tiring for me as my anxiety made everything a challenge. Before I would even get to school it was stress about my hair, my clothes, my lunch or lunchbox, school bag, folder (these things seem trivial, but for some people cause a great deal of stress), no wonder I was to tired, I hadn't even had to face anyone yet. I got so down about putting in a huge effort and still not getting a good enough mark. It affected me more than anyone realised.
I would've given anything for someone to say "I'm proud of you for getting out of bed and going to school". For me (and again, it may not be the same for your daughter) I wish I had someone to make me break assignments down - "what assignment are you working on tonight? Can you do the introduction by tomorrow night?" The worst thing I got told was "only 12 out of 20, well that's because you didn't put any effort in".
I hope there is something here you can find helpful. Good luck, keep being there.
