Teenage anxiety

[David3088]

Hi, I am writing asking for help for my son. He is almost 17 years old, he has always been a shy boy, but over the last 9 months he has stopped all outside activities, and now we cannot even get him to school. His as seen two psychologist's, neither have been able to get through to him. The school is understanding but that's all. What should I do,? Do  I Let him stay at home in his room all day until he "wants" to engage. He has only a couple of friends, but they never come to our house. He wants to get better, but he won't talk to people, including me. Its tearing my heart out to see him like this, but I have to go to work and leave him. What should I do.?

[fearer101]

im 17 myslef and suffer from anxiety (maybe different forms/types than your son) and it wa hard for me to open up and really share how i felt, i found that writing letters to my mum really helped. maybe suggesting t him to try and write a letter to your or his mum in trying to express how he is feeling without feeling too exposed like you can feel when having to express those feeling in the open in front of someone.

[jep1992]

When I was 17 I had anxiety and similarly to your son I didn't wish to get out of the house and interact with others. At that age you don't want some old person that you cant connect with to know everything. There is no easy answer to the question. All that I can say is what has helped me. I found a couple of things have helped me including each day writing down one positive from the day in the following areas: talking to people, things i saw, heard, felt and did.

As well another thing is get him to write goals for the future with interaction with others, over certain amount of time, tomorrow, week, month. Whether it be just saying hi to someone at school, sitting next to someone in class etc

As well writing down positive experiences and rereading them, even if they are made up or role playing scenarios and giving him things to say. If you have a dog get him to have a conversation with the dog, then with a friend present the dog will provide some comfort for him

One last thing if he has panic attacks see if he is willing to try grounding techniques.

[geoff]

dear David, this is a difficult one, but I think that Jeps suggestion is a great one, to get him a puppy, put in a doggy door, and the puppy will do nothing but play and lick him all the time, this may give him confidence. Geoff.