Supporting a family member who won’t get help

[Juliana_15]

Hello - my brother (who lives about 1.5 hrs from me) has a long-term problem with alcohol addiction. He also has diagnosed ADHD and OCD. He justifies the alcohol as a coping mechanism and won’t take his other medication due to interference. I feel like he has become way worse during COVID-19 as he is also influenced by conspiracy theories and doesn’t think there’s any point looking to the future. I am sick with worry that he will hurt himself or someone else and have repeatedly suggested he seeks treatment but he deflects by saying he can’t go into rehab due to his cats (and won’t listen to my offers to pay for them to be in care while he seeks treatment). I know that he has to be the one to make the step but it’s starting to seriously affect my own wellbeing. Has anyone else been here, and found some strategies that have worked?

[Sophie_M]

Hi Juliana 15,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you’re really concerned about your brother’s wellbeing and we are sorry to hear how much of an impact this situation has had on you. We understand the challenges that come with trying to support loved ones in a distressed state. If you are finding that your brother is having trouble making the steps to keep himself safe, there are some steps that you can take to ensure he gets the right assistance.
 
If you feel like your brother is in a situation of risk of harm or suicide and he is not able to see a GP, you can seek more immediate help for him by contacting his local Mental Health Team at the nearest hospital or support them in attending the Emergency Department. If you feel they are not able to keep themselves safe from acting on their thoughts about suicide or self-harm, this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero) immediately.
 
 If you are struggling to make these steps please call our team of professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service on 1300 22 4636 who can talk through some support options with you. Our team can also be reached by email (responses with 24 hours) or Webchat (3pm – 12am) at http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support .
 
Keep checking to let us know how you’re going – you’re not alone in this.
 

[Juliana_15]

Thank you so much Sophie. It’s great just to know that there are people out there.

The worst part is I’ve travelled this path with him so many times over the years including seeking my own therapy but it just doesn’t seem to change and I can’t avoid switching straight back into stress mode when something happens. I don’t think he’s at risk of deliberate self harm this time but he is on a destructive path so I’ve reached out again today and suggested he go to the GP or Emergency. I’ll update with how he gets on. Thanks again.