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struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
1,006 Replies 1,006

Hanna3
Community Member

Mark I'm so sorry your son is having such a bad time already - school hasn't been going for long!  Is there any chance to get him into another school - or else can you talk to someone in authority there and get him some help?  It's all so distressing for you as well.  I hope you can get the school to sort this all out.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Another school is an hour away.We are in constant contact with the school and head.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hanna my daughter says their are heaps of kittens in at the rspca at the moment.

Hi Sleepy, you might find some good series in the local library if you have one nearby and have access to a DVD player, otherwise I guess it's Netflix etc.  I hope you find some you enjoy - I thought the vampires in I think from memory it was Wellington in NZ of all places! - as a friend said to me, it was really just a normal share house except they were all vampires!  Great to see a good movie like that coming out of NZ.

 

I am going to look at a cat tomorrow at the RSPCA, it's a long drive and today was pouring rain - the first rain we have had for ages, but I didn't want to drive where I didn't know the way on wet roads.  If the cat and I don't click, at least I will know where the RSPCA is and how to get there!

 

Today was a bit dreary - went to the library, had a quick lunch out, there wasn't much going on in town today, everyone here seems terrified of coolish weather whereas I love it!  

 

I hope the friends you are staying with are still being friendly and that things will turn out well for you in the long run Sleepy.  I think it's great that you are finding shows etc that you enjoy watching - can you get out to an outdoor cafe sometines?  Even coffees are costly these days but the occasional one might be doable for you.. just to get out and about is good!  I have a friend here looking for a rental - she is unwell and moved from another state to stay with her sister but they are not getting along so now she is looking for an affordable rental - she was telling me how much information the real estate agents are demanding now, it sounds ridiculous.  I really wish the governments would put money into building a lot of decent affordable housing - where I used to live there was mile after mile of nice little cottages that were once affordable housing for people on low incomes - now they have all been sold off and are privately owned.  What a shame.

Hanna3
Community Member

Could you get your son transferred to the other school Mark?  I don't know if they can/will do that mid-term... or if the distance is do-able for you?  What a shame the bullying has started so early and so badly, your poor boy I am sorry people are so awful.  I hope your son is recovering a littlle bit now but he must dread going back again.  You have a lot to deal with on your own Mark!

 

I think I am going to look at a cat tomorrow, I was going today but it's been raining hard and I don't like driving in rain.  It's an adult cat a few years old, a stray but they say very sweet natured, a desexed boy who has clearly been well cared for but somehow lost and nobody has claimed him.  I thought an adult cat might be easier than a young kitten in my small unit.  So if I get the puss cat I will need to get a bed, carry crate and food tomorrow as well.  If we don't "click" then I will come home and wait for another to become available.  I thought it might be nice to rescue an adult cat as they are harder to find homes for than kittens.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Mark, I'm driving up today (hope I can find my way, I tend to get lost) and have a look at a couple of ordinary house cats - a few years old - they say they are hard to find homes for as people want kittens - I'm quite happy to get an older cat, it will be easier in the unit and it would be nice to give one a home.  I will let you know how I go!

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Mark, Sleepy

 

I am thinking over the kitty cat..  He was a big lovely cat but incredibly stressed - he shares the room with lots of kittens and he doesn't like the kittens - there was a young woman with a toddler son looking at the kittens and the little boy was making such a fuss yelling with excitement, it stessed the cat out that I was looking at.

 

The poor cat kept trying to get out the door - he just wants to get away from the rescue centre poor thing.  Just a cage all day and one short time out of it day after day, and you can hear all the poor dogs barking outside.

 

He did bit me and the woman staff member in the morning when we got him out of the cage, I think he was so stressed with the toddler yelling.  I went back in the afternoon and just sat and talked to him and he got into my lap twice for a cuddle, then went back to the exit door - he just wants out of that place.   The staff seem very nice and doing their best with not much money.

 

I am ;thinking I may give him a go - once he is home out of the shelter he should feel better - I think he needs a quiet home without kids, which is fine here, and he will need time to adjust to another place, so I won't expect much for a while after bringing him back here.  The staff said people come in saying they will adopt an adult cat, then they see the kittens and they buy a kitten isntead, and the adult cats get left.

 

The poor animal honestly made me feel sad - he's just so unhappy being there.  So anyway, they have put a temporary hold on him over the weekend for me so nobody buys him, and I said I would go back on Monday.  I think I will take him on.  He was just so unhappy there.  I wonder what your daughter would say, Mark.

 

Sleepy I hope you are still feeling improved after your break away.  How are things going with the flatmates etc?  

 

I'm a bit weary after a long drive so I'm about to relax with a hot cuppa!

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
  1. Sounds like it will be a lovely cat.I always go for the unwanted animals.The kittens at the rspca go very quick while the adult cats take longer to find homes.I use to go every week there now my daughter is driving I don't go anymore.Always seemed to be people having a look.my daughter says the kittens are very sort after and the mature cats take longer and the older they are the longer it takes.Where my daughter works the mature cats are separated from the kittens.There is another building where they quarantine the new ones when they come in.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Mark, yes i'm not sure why the kittens disturbed the cat so much - there were other adult cats there and they didn't seem to be bothered, but this cat was hissing at them.  My feeling is this cat needs a very quiet home.  My flat is very small, it's just a one bedroom - I have a cat tree near a window and a couple of beds and a hammock and it could retreat to another room if it wanted.. it's better than the cage at the shelter.  I'm just not sure if I will bond with it?  The young women working there told me people would come in saying they wanted to buy an adult cat and as soon as theysee the kittens they end up buying one of them,  

 

This cat sure was stressed out, biting me and the young woman staff member - she said she had never seen him so distressed and we think it was the noisy yelling little boy, he got to me as well.  I guess I am more used to dogs and little Sam was sweet.  I suspect his cat would hide for a long time and take a lot of time to settle - but it's just me here so it is quiet, no kids or kittens.  I'm not sure what to think.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Hanna I have had animals that I thought I wouldn't bond with but adventurally do.I find once you start feeding them they become attached to you.The cat would have such a great home with you and probably suited to you as you don't have small children around.I wondering if the cat came came from a home that had small children that use to be rough with it?

Been a bit of a cloudy day here with maby some rain tomorrow.