struggling with special needs children

[Matchy69]

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

[Boudica]

Good Morning Mark and Sleepy,

Bullying is really sad, as even when it has stopped it leaves such scars. I don't think they take enough action against bullies, there should be consequences for them.

Sorry I have been quiet, I have been a bit too gloomy to write things here just now, as I don't want to bring down people who are already struggling. I could just start a thread of gloom, but there is already so much sadness here already.

Hope things are ok for you just now.

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica I am sorry you are feeling down at the ment.You can share anything you like here.

Take care,

Mark.

[Boudica]

Thanks Mark, you are so lovely!

[Matchy69]

Thanks Boudica you are a great support on here.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Mark,

hope ur daughter is feeling okay. That's good they didn't ask her to be tested again, and she can recover peacefully. Hope she's on the up.

Hey Boudaica, how are u? Sorry you feel down. If it helps you to talk please feel free 🙂

[Boudica]

Hi Folks,

I am really overwhelmed by uni work at the moment, which always must take second or third place after my other commitments. I feel like it might have been a mistake to commit to an honours project, as I just don't have enough hours in my life to do it to my satisfaction. But I want to do it because it interests me.

This semester has been difficult. I usually have 70% care of my son, but his father went through treatment for cancer early this year (he is only 43, and will be ok), so that went to 100% for a while and I had my son home for several weeks for other reasons such as illness and school problems. I also have had to start doing more things to help my mum (I do all her life admin - money, bills, organisational stuff, help with house maintenance). This has really put me behind schedule with my project.

I am just feeling so burnt out, and I don't have time to do any of the things I should do to keep my mind healthy (breaks, and doing stuff I like). So when I am trying to study I can't concentrate as I just feel stressed. I used to have a more balanced life a few years ago, as I had some support from family, but both grandmothers have serious illness now, and in the future I will have to do more and more to help mum.

There are so many things I still want to do in life, but many of them are impossible or extremely difficult when caring for special needs child. But I don't want to give up trying. Yet I also feel guilty for not just being satisfied with caring for my child, and wanting things outside for myself. I just feel so trapped at the moment. I dream of having a couple days off and just going camping, but I might as well wish for the moon.

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica that is a lot on your plate to deal with.It would be so hard for you to balance things.I struggle just trying to look after my kids and when I don't have them I just want to rest and do nothing.I really got to push my self to do things.Losing most of your support will be making it even tougher for you.Its naturally to put your son first and know what difficulties their is with special needs.

Take care,

Mark.

[Guest_1643]

hi Boudaica,

i can feel how hard it is for you and that you have so much pressure with demands. It must be hard. I wander if I can relate despite my situation being different and myself not having children yet, I do feel like ppl don't 'get' wht i go through with mental health struggles, and i feel lonely a lot because i wander if ppl think i should be achieving more or working harder, when my Mh limits that so much.
Never feel guilty for putting urself first - how can u help anyone if you don't have ur own sense of peace and safety.

i'm so sorry for the strss you are under with uni and with ur child's father having been unwell and sending you lots of care and support

[Boudica]

Hi Mark and Sleepy,

Thanks for your kind thoughts, I think I am feeling a little better this evening. I am going to speak to one of my supervisors tomorrow about it.

It is hard, and I feel inadequate and like I will be judged poorly by others if I do not meet expectations. But also I am very self-critical. I was also lucky enough to win a scholarship for this year, so I do not have to work part-time while studying like I did last year, so I feel I should be managing better. Actually the scholarship puts more pressure on me to do well and adds a layer of anxiety. I also volunteer one day a week at an environmental research organisation when Blake is at school. I do over-commit myself like an idiot.

I understand what you mean about the MH limits. Sometimes when all is well I am a very productive person, who can work 18 hour days, then at other times I am not functional, and can't get out of bed to shower or make words or see people! If I can average out my two states then I can pass for a normal person. Though I don't like tv, facebook or insta so that gives me more time to get work done than some others with these hobbies.

Thanks for you support peeps.

[Matchy69]

Hi Boudica sand sleepy.Thsts great you volunteer once a week.I use to do volunteer work but don't seem to feel up to it or have time.I just sponsor a World vision child these days.

It is Gala day at the school today but won't be able to make it as I have something else on and only found out about it yesterday afternoon.I just feel a bit bad about not going and hope my son's not to upset with me not going.The kids will be dropped off after school and not sure what I will do with them this weekend.

Take care,

Mark.