dear Starsie, you are caught between a rock and a hard place, we all know that love is needed before we marry, but unfortunately it's only going one way, only because he's suffering from depression, which we all know is a hungry beast and will destroy the soul of anybody that gets it.
Love can't fix depression no matter how hard you try or want to, it segregates the two of you, where you want to help him, but he just wants to be by himself, but that's what depression does.
By marrying him even though you love him wouldn't be the best idea now, and I would suggest to just put it on hold.
What he needs is help starting with his doctor once again so that his medication can be reviewed and then directed to seeing a psychologist on a medicare plan, which entitles him to 10 free visitsI also suggest that you click onto 'Resources' and order all 'the printed material' from BB, it's all free, but such a useful and informative booklet on depression.
I say you because by the way he feels he won't do it.
There are also the BB phone numbers above who both you and he can ring.
At the moment he may not want to do any of this, because he may think that no one can help him, that's understandable, but eventually there will be a time when he realises he needs professional help, and how long it takes, no one does, but what you can do is let him know that you love him, and can be there for him.
It's a terrible time for you and for him and feel so sorry for you both. L Geoff. x
