Newbie here. Anxious mum with anxious kids!

[Zhamay]

Hi everyone. I hope this post goes through. I tried a few weeks ago but my internet is terrible at the moment!

I have just started getting help for anxiety and depression, including social anxiety, which I have suffered from pretty much all my life but only recently decided that it was time to get help for.

It has all come out over the last few years as my children both have social anxiety issues and my daughter also has general anxiety as well and the more I learned about their conditions the more I realised what was going on with me and how much it has affected my whole life. It has been very important for me to get myself sorted out so that I can be there in the best possible way for my kids.

at the moment my anxiety levels are very high as we are selling house and have been dealing with some very difficult buyers. I just want it all to be over! My job is also very busy and stressful at the moment and then I don't relax much at home because my little girl is really on edge lately.

Anyway, I hope to try and get on here as much as I can and get to know some of you. It is really good to know that there are other people out there going through the same kind of problems as me xx

[Sophie_M]

HI Zhamay

It sounds like you have a lot going on for you at the moment - selling your house, a stressful job and in top of that you are doing your best to support your children with their own anxiety issues.

It's great to hear that you are getting some support for your anxiety. Learning more about your own coping and finding new strategies to deal with your anxiety will help you in every aspect of your life. You will be better able to cope with challenges but another great benefit is that you will find that you can enjoy more with your friends and family. 

One of your key responsibilities as a parent is to also role model helpful ways of dealing with stress. As you learn more about what works for you - you can also teach your children about these things too. In fact you might find that sometimes, as you approach an anxiety provoking situation, you talk out loud about how you are going to handle it. This helps the children see that you too have anxiety but that you are working towards managing this. Perhaps together you could also talk through possible ways to approach different situations (nothing too serious) - work out the pros and cons of your options - try things together and review how things went. You might also consider getting in the habit or doing some relaxation together each night before bed. Something like yoga, muscle progressive relaxation, or an online relaxation program like smiling minds. This helps you to create useful relaxation habits while also benefiting you each individually. 

The other thing that is really important when you are feeling overwhelmed is to remember to take it one step at a time. Make a priority list, work out what needs to be done and when, and importantly, be kind to yourself if you don't manage to get everything done. There is always tomorrow. Often we punish ourselves or get caught up in the things that did not go well and we miss the good stuff - the smiles from our children, the warmth of a hug from someone who cares about you or perhaps a beautiful rose that you passed as you walk to work. 

Zhamay you have begun a journey to learn more about yourself, your coping and in amongst this you will probably discover some of your strengths that you have not noticed in a while. Keep chatting to us about how things are going, call on us for support when you need it and use these strengths to get you through the really tough times. 

[Hypatia]

I just wanted to say Hi, Zhamay. My partner has severe depression (we don't have kids) and in the last couple of months, I've felt my own anxiety slowly spiralling up into out-of-control territory. We're currently renovating the house, and the pressure and stress of that has been a nightmare when combined with managing depression. I find it very difficult to work out how to find a balance between protecting him and keeping my own stresses in check. I came here again looking for people just to connect to, so your post struck a chord in me.

I hope things are copeable for you, and if they aren't, post here and I'll offer virtual hugs!