My partner says he doesn't love me anymore but I think it's his mental health doing the talking.
Perhaps try gently guiding him to the GP to kick-start his journey through therapy.
Often people in these situations can also project there feelings, he may be projecting what he thinks your feeling back onto you.
Its very difficult to help someone who doesn't know they need help, continue your support, offer suggestions, try communicating at different times.
Look after yourself
I wanted to get in touch as I experienced a similar situation with my partner a few years ago. We had been together for nearly 8 years, and I had noticed he was sleeping more and becoming really distant. I confronted him about it, and he said he didn’t love me anymore, and also fixated on things he had said previously. This came out of the blue in one sense, but looking back, I now see the signs of depression. I wrote him a really long letter, just saying everything I felt, and telling him how much I love him. After a few very intense days of talking, and a week of living apart, we realised how much we wanted to be together, and that he needed to seek outside help for his inability to address his emotions.
I have to say, he was quite reluctant to seek help, however, I told him that we could not go forward without him speaking to someone at least once. Thankfully, that gave him the gentle nudge that he needed, and he did come home after the appointment, saying it had helped. I didn’t ask anything about it, but just told him how happy I was that he had done it. He went for a further 3 sessions, and from there hasn’t felt as though he needs it anymore.
Our relationship has gone from strength to strength since!
I’m really hoping that this helps you with your situation. At the end of the day, you need to strive for your own happiness, and if your partner is part of that, you will obviously want to include them. Hopefully they will be open to speaking to someone. It honestly saved my relationship! Good luck!!
Hi Need Support,
I'm sorry to read of the situation you are in. My husband and I both have mental health issues, so our relationship can get a little interesting at times.
Recently my depression has been terrible and my mind has been telling me I need to leave, that nothing is working, that life is horrible and I just need to run away. I am fortunate as I know it is my depression distorting my thinking.
There is a Men's Helpline (sorry I don't have the number available) Maybe you could suggest he give them a call or Beyond Blue and chat to a support worker.
If your partner does go away for the weekend, that may help him to clear his mind a little. It might help to just send him a short text letting him know you are thinking of him.
Does he have friends/mates who may be able to keep an eye on him? Are you in contact with his family at all?
How do you think he would react if you made a Drs appointment for the both of you and asked him to join you? I have told my husband I have needed him at the appointment so it does not sound like it is about him.
Beyond Blue have information on their website around depression and how to help someone who has it.
Wishing you well in all of this.
Regards from Dools
Thank you for your response. I know that he won't access any of those supports you mentioned because he believes that he is all fine now and that he just needs to end our relationship. I have let a couple of his friends in on what is happening so that they can keep an eye on him and support him if he does say anything or try to open up.
I get along well with his family but he has told me that if I tell them anything he will leave straight away. His family will be my last port of call.
I am so worried that if he does end our relationship that he will spiral out of control and then have regrets later. If I am not around he won't have support and I know he won't talk to anyone. I am worried things could get really bad for him.
We have so much together and I just know he isn't thinking clearly. He has never wavered once in the whole 7 years we have been together. It is just breaking my heart to hear him say these things.
Thank you for your suggestions I will take a look on the website and keep in touch with him over the weekend at some stage.