My partner has ptsd and i am a little lost as to how to act and support

[Minimalman]

My partner and i started a gorgeous relationship the same time as she started a high pressure corporate job. The very day she started her new job her anxiety started to increase and she started not sleeping properly, not relaxing and it kept building and as she has been dealing with ptsd for around 7 years , last week she had an episode of which i was asked to leave to give her space, but then she totally pushed herself away from me even stopped telling me her feelings toward me, and not communicating but seemed to fall back into her default world to cope. I have felt shocked and lost and like it was my fault... i love her with all my heart and i would love to hear any points or tips on how to support her.. i thought i had lost her but today she gave me a little ray of sunshine and i can see she doesnt want to lose me ..

thankyou so much

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Welcome to beyond blue.

By the way, I have depression and anxiety, so in some parts I will talk about the role of my wife (or you) and some places myself.

As a partner of someone with depression it can be tricky to work out when the person is in that state of depression or "normal". You are also somewhat reliant on the other person telling you how they feel. And if the person with depression (me) is not prone to opening up then it can be difficult. But then you have to consider why that person might not want to talk about? There is shame, embarrassment, and maybe 10000 thoughts in their mind they want to get out. And we don't want to burden to the other person with our own problems.

So that can make it difficult for the partner. But there are things that you can do. My wife and I had a conversation (about me) yesterday before seeing a film. And we also spoke about the above and a couple of videos on youtube about vulnerability and shame and that I don't open up, but I said to her, just to hug me in those moment and tell me it will be ok.

There are other resources on the beyond blue web site you might be interested in also...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

if you start at the above pages you will find loads of information that should be helpful and give you other ideas.

Tim