My partner has depression/anxiety. How can I help him?

[Chelly]

I need help/advice! I have been with my partner for a few years now and we have had a wonderful close relationship. However about a year ago he started acting differently - quick to anger, more negative, not wanting to socialise, jealous, lower self esteem, etc. This got worse and worse over a few months. As well as this he began smoking weed on a daily basis instead of the rare recreational occasion. I expressed concern about the weed but there was no stopping him. One night I found him having a severe anxiety attack which he said started because he was thinking about money problems. I told him I thought the weed was causing all this but he responded that the weed has been the only thing helping him. I took him to the Gp the next day where he did some questionnaires that said he had severe depression and anxiety. I made sure he informed the GP that his mother has bipolar disorder but the GP didn't think it was that. He was prescribed an anxiety medication called loxalate and referred to a psychologist. It took a lot of convincing to finally get him to make an appointment, meanwhile the loxalate tablets were giving him severe migraines, endless need to sleep, nausea and many sick days off work. He threw them out and vowed to never use medication again! He started seeing the psychologist weekly and was starting to improve. I took him away camping one weekend which really helped and he became almost himself again so he stopped seeing the psychologist. Then one day for no good reason he snapped again and slipped straight back into depression which lasted about 2 weeks then he got better for a month then bad again for a week, then good, then bad, it's a roller coaster! He is currently having a very bad week, and I should mention he says suicidal things and tries to break up with me during these episodes (his reason being that I can do better and he's just making me unhappy). He has anxiety attacks more often now. I have done my best to stay positive but I feel like this will just keep happening to him. I know it's not his fault and it's not the real-him but he's not much fun to be around. I have no intention of giving up on him but if I did I honestly believe he would be a suicide risk. He NEEDS to get better! Has anyone had a partner like this? Giving up weed and taking medications are not an option, he is so stubborn! I also suspect bipolar but he is strongly in denial because he doesn't want to end up like his mother. What do I do? Please help!

[Goza]

I am in the same boat with my husband. He is stressed about money, thinks he isn't a good husband or father to our 6 week old daughter. He has recently stopped smoking weed as he needed to get a new job and can't have that in his system. He thinks he is a failure because we haven't got lots of money. He has seen a councillor before and that helped but he is back to feeling low. I don't know what to do to help either.

[CordeliaPony]

That sounds so hard for you.. 

I was with a past boyfriend who had lots of issues, he was emotionally abusive and had so many insecurities and trust issues.

My point though is, when I first met him he wasn't taking weed and he seemed a lot less paranoid and more stable.. Honestly weed isa vicious  cycle. While they have it and while the euphoria is still there they feel 'calm' and good, but once it where's off they become paranoid and anxious etc.. Worse than before they had some. It really messes with their mind, and it seems only the one closest to them notices.. They don't realise then self it's actually adding to the problem 😞 maybe ask him to try without it for a couple of months, every do often go for a walk in nature perhaps, get away from any stresses every so often.. 

I just feel weed is not an answer from personal experience in seeing someone go downhill with it :s 

 All the best