Mother thinks she is god

[AmyJacko]

So I’m 38 and my mum is 64. For as long as I can remember my Mum has thought of herself as god. I have started tracking conversations and keeping text message screen shots as proof. Has anyone ever experienced this? She apparently manifested over 30 years ago and considers the Queen of England to be invalid and ‘tributes and tithes’ should be paid to her. Mother has pushed all her family away. In the opposite of that she is manipulating, controlling and obsessive with my sister and I. We have in turn pushed her out of our lives. It makes me sad though. I really need to attend counseling. I resent her for what she behaves like and the difficult life I’ve had in dealing with her. Now she is getting old and the behaviour is escalating. Any advice on where I should start on a journey to heal from her crazy?

[BballJ]

Hi AmyJacko,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

This is one question I have not come across on these forums, I haven't heard of someone thinking they are god. What a tough situation to be in but I think one thing you are doing which is great is trying to find ways to heal. Are you wanting to try and speak to your mum again or are you just wanting to find inner peace in yourself? As I haven't really come across this before I do not have a lot of advice however I am reaching out to support you and say anything you can do to try and heal yourself is great, maybe that involves speaking with a psychologist to try and work through it all? Have you considered that?

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hello AmyJacko, can I also welcome you to the site.

I hadn't heard of a post like this in 15 years, I maybe wrong, but never the less it would be a good idea for you to get counselling and perhaps with your sister.

I say this because your mum is showing symptoms like hallucinating or having delusions and her thoughts aren't reasonable, and as she has pushed everyone away and now becoming older maybe a nursing home maybe something for you and your sister to consider.

There is love out there in the world, someone who will discuss what you want to do and someone who will definitely thankyou, kiss you and certainly cuddle you, this is the type of counselling you need and to make you feel confident. Geoff.

[AmyJacko]

Thanks Jay. I would like inner peace for myself as a starter. Then I would like to be able to work towards having conversations with her that don't end up with me being upset with her. I have googled the living daylights out of all sorts of disorders and think that my next step is to go and see her Doctor. But to do that I wish to prepare myself mentally for that conversation. This is where I think a Psychologist will help me on a path.

Our current conversations go like this - Mum - How are you, then something manipulative, like I want to put the house in half of your name. Me - harsh truth response and unkind but blunt. I'm finding that if I'm nice to her the behaviour just continues and each month she comes up with another thing to create drama.

[AmyJacko]

Hi Geoff. Thank you for your kind words. My sister lives 1800km away from me but see's a therapist sometimes. That is one of the reasons why I think it might help me too. I'm not quite ready to deal with going down the path of putting her in a home because I don't want to deal with the heartache that comes from being in contact with her. I do feel that a nursing home will be the end goal with her. It will need to be the right kind of nursing home but hopefully the mental health Doctors will be able to help with that part.

[BballJ]

Hi AmyJacko,

I think a psychologist will do you a world of good and the fact you are open to the idea is more than great. I think a psychologist will help you understand your mum's situation and how you can try to work with it and hopefully give you some ideas on how to deal with her as well. Speaking to her doctor may also be a good start.

My best,

Jay

[geoff]

hi AmyJacko, thanks for getting back to us, it means a lot.

It may come down to her doctor making the decision along with the help of the mental health doctor's assistance. Geoff.

[quirkywords]

Amy,

welcome. Jay and geoff have given elpful suggestions.

I have heard of people having delusions as part of mania - a friend thought she was Mary and I have heard of some being and angel.

This is different to what you have described as I assume she is like this all the time and not just for a manic episode. Is that right? How long has she had this belief?Has she ever seen a doctor and been diagnosed but I assume she thinks she is fine and everyone else as the problem.

It must be so difficult for you because you want to help her but you must look after yourself.

Seeing a counsellor or a psyhcologist may help.

Take care

Quirky

[AmyJacko]

Hi Quirky. Mum's belief she is god is permanent and doesn't come and go with mania. Her behaviour is constant and has been for as long as I have known her. Mum's family said a few years ago to me that when she was 9 she started to get extremely religious and that's when they noticed a change in her. Mum has been in a mental hospital/institutionalised three separate times now, but not in 21 years as we gave up on trying to help her. Mum was taken the last two times to Greylands in Perth and I don't think the proper care was given to her. It was one month and just put in a room with medication. Whereas I think mum also needed the Psychologist work too to work through it all. Which is why I call her on her bull when she lies instead of pandering to her like Dad did (passed away 2010). Mum believes that we should be living in the Vatican. I have this on tape along with a lot of other things that could give to her Doctor. But then that means following a path to getting her put away and I don't live near her and don't want to move back to that town to deal with everything. I'm angry with her for impacting my life as she has and need to sort through that. But I do think she is escalating over the last few years and something needs to be done. I just wish that it wasn't me that had to do it because she can be so toxic and it's painful. There are a number of traits she has that hooks in with borderline personality disorder, delusional disorder, all self diagnosed by me reading google though. I'm thinking of compiling everything in a letter and sending it to her Doctor and then asking for a phone appointment.