Losing hope. Cup of support running out

[ND79]

I don't know where to begin writing this post. Everything seems so full on, confusing and completely hopeless some days.

My husband (married 4yrs, together 13 yrs) is suffering from severe depression, anxiety & ptsd. In 2015 we had our first child and this is when it all reared its head. Initially it felt mild, he got some treatment (meds & cbt) & although there were ups and downs along this road it seemed to be disappating. 3 days before the birth of our second child in Dec 2016 he went off his meds voluntarily and kept it hidden from me for weeks. Things went downhill fast. His depression became severe & I felt alone watching him decay all whilst I was raising a newborn and a toddler. Our relationship was suffering. After a sudden blood nose (which he has never had) he went back to the GP and everything came flooding out. It was then we got a referal to a psychiatrist and he got back on his meds.

He has now had a few appts with the psychiatrist and working on getting meds right. He is also taking meds for flashbacks and another tablet to help him sleep (non addictive apparently) ontop of the Anti-d's.

Ontop of this he had his first psychotherapy session for help with PTSD late last week which triggered him.

Finally to add to things he was made redundant at work two weeks ago.

So that's a run down on my situation. Obviously it's a shortened version.

I don't know what to do anymore. I try to be supportive but I'm getting told I'm saying the wrong thing. I feel hopeless, helpless & some days just absolutely angry and frustrated. I feel like I walk on egg shells and feel guilty if I try to keep life moving. The down days are so hard to keep positive and I can't help but feel like everthing will continue to get worse. There's no light.

My cup of support is running out and i feel like I'm being affected by all the negative myself and I'm running out of steam. The psychotherapist said that I shouldn't try solve his problems as they will work on that but just to be there as support. But what do you do when you feel like your supportis not enough. That the darkness is to strong? I'm so overwhelmed.

[startingnew]

HI ND welcome to BB

your brave for just speaking out

i have experience with anxiety, depressiona nd PTSD as well as other things

i can give you a few coping techniques if you like to help you with your anxiety and depression?

[Winterfell]

Hi and its great you are reaching out. You are on a bit of a marathon track not a sprint so know you are not alone and that this will take time. There are several things you can do to help during this dark time and these are things that helped me greatly

1. Look after yourself, do things to relax you and keep you happy, don't feel guilt about going out for time on your own. Eggshell life is hard so you need to fill your cup often - coffee with friends, walks, long bath, whatever gives you peace and space.

2. Know that your husband is getting help and its not your job to fix him or beat his depression, be proud of him - let him know how proud of him you are for seeking help and engaging in therapy, it isn't easy.

3. Let him know you love and support him - maybe buy him a nice card, there are many with beautiful support messages that are helpful for depression (weirdly enough sometimes in the sympathy section)

4. Remind him in small ways of the good times, some photos of holiday times or a picture in a frame of him with your bubbies

5. Hold hope for him, know that the depression is not him, see it as something you can fight together and he will emerge out of the dark place he is in.

I wont bore you with my long story but my husband was hospitalised almost a year ago. Its been a hard slog and he still has some down days but overall he is doing really well now and has been able to deal with some stuff from his past head on. This place was good for me in terms of being able to reach out and seek support, keep posting and know you are not alone xox

[d_93]

Hi,

i completely feel your pain, my mum is currently suffering from severe anxiety and agitated depression and I feel helpless. I want to live my own life with my boyfriend friends and family but she is always number one priority at the moment as she is constantly crying and screaming. She has been in a mental health unit twice receiving ect. It's a bit hard because nothing is seeming to work and I feel lost. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I hope all goes well and I wish you all the best of luck.