Is it Anxiety?

[yoghurt]

Hi all,

I have a 4 and a half year old boy that I am beginning to worry about. Ever since he started kindy he has been easily upset, doesn't want to go (he was very excited about starting school), emotional. He needs to be the one in control and like things a particular way. If I drop him at school, he screams that he doesn't want me to go and that he doesn't want to be there. If someone else drops him off he is fine. Once I am gone he settles quickly and is fine for the rest of the day. If he wants something done (by me or anyone else) he wants it done NOW and gets upset if it isn't done.

Am I right to be concerned or is he just an emotional, typical 4 year old....

I look forward to your suggestions.

Thank you

[Zeal]

Hi Yoghurt,

I don't have kids myself, but your four year old sounds as though he has separation anxiety. His demands that things are done "now" could be a behavioural problem.

Hopefully some mothers will have advice for you. If you're really worried, you could speak to your GP. If it's necessary and this problem persists, you may be referred by your GP to a child psychologist.

Good luck with resolving this,

SM

[Neil_1]

Hi there Yoghurt

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

I honestly don’t think there’s too much to be concerned about at this point in time – our boy did pretty much the same kind of thing during his younger years and I don’t think I was much better way back in the day either.   My son is 16 and is absolutely fine now, he says with tongue in cheek.  🙂   But seriously, our son did go through this phase for a number of years – but it was more so at the start of school and the start of new terms.  Once it all got going he was fine, but wow, we had some very stressful times at school drop offs at different times.

With regard to the in control all the time, well, that’s something that he’s going to find just doesn’t happen – and unfortunately it’s much harder to reason with a 4yo than someone who is older.  But as you know, in life we don’t always get what we want or things don’t turn out how we would like them too – if it did, well that would be a perfect existence, perhaps.

But back to the school thing, as you’ve mentioned, once he’s dropped off and settled, he’s fine.  But I can gather how much you worry after you drop him off, as it really does stress you and you just wonder, if he’s going to be ok – meanwhile, he’s probably chowing down on a milk arrowroot with a chaser of milk and having a great time playing catch.

Cheers

Neil