Is Depression Hereditary?

scaredmum · ‎17-10-2014

Hi, I have suffered clinical Depression for the past 19 years. It has been rough but have been very lucky to have great support from my husband. Our 14 year old son has suffered anxiety on and off growing up. This year he started not eating because he felt so anxious he felt too ill to eat. he ended up in hospital after being diagnosed with Anorexia. Four months later after now being on an antidepressant, his eating has improved but now he is severely depressed. He is having fortnightly counselling. Meds are still being reviewed and increased. When he does go to school he comes home and goes straight to bed. All weekend and school holidays he is in bed. He no longer wants to do anything he previously enjoyed like surfing. He doesn't want to socialize. His grades have slipped dramatically.

Has anyone reading this who has had depression for a long time, had a child also with Depression. I blame myself for putting my son through this. It scares me and although I know how he is feeling I feel

helpless to know how to help him. Would love to hear from anyone who can relate to me and share anything that can be helpful.

Thanks...Scaredmum

White_Rose · ‎17-10-2014

Hello Mum

I have not been in your situation exactly, but my sister had depression. If you explore the tabs at the top of the page you will find lots of information about depression, including family histories. But regardless of your past history it is not your fault that your son is unwell. Illnesses can run in families. It's unfortunate but it is not the fault of anyone. Perhaps you could talk to your GP about this.

Do you receive any counseling for yourself? It may be useful to have a chat to your GP or whoever prescribes medication for you.

The info on this web site will also help you to help your son so read the pages that interest you and then phone BB to get the material sent to you. It may also be helpful for your husband to read.

Talking to your son may also help. Or perhaps encourage him to talk to you. This type of conversation may help you identify ways to help him.

Please continue to write in here and I'm sure others will add their comments.

Mary

HA1 · ‎17-10-2014

Not an expert, but from my reading and discussions with psychs, you can be genetically predisposed to mental illness (I.e. If there is a history of mental illness in the family tree). But it is still not necessarily due to that - it can happen to anyone. I certainly a genetic predisposition, but there is no certainty that is the cause of my illness.

bluestar · ‎17-10-2014

Hi

I believe it can be a factor for some but then depression doesnt discriminate. My grandma had it, my mum had a hard life (dont think she had depression), i've got depression but my sisters are fine. Just let him know your there for him and always will be. Listen and love him.

geoff · ‎18-10-2014

dear Scaredmum, welcome to the site.

To answer your question and this is for myself, the answer is yes, it happened with my youngest son, but before I continue he is well and good now, working, but unfortunately he lives about 9-10 hours away from me, but we speak regularly.

When I first went to see a psych one of the first questions they asked me 'has anybody else in your family suffered from depression'.

So to back to your comment I suffered for a long time with this illness, and my then wife was unpredictable, because she went through stages of not talking to any of us and would go to bed, point taken, but I was the one that tried to take my own life, so at times the family situation wasn't good.

Our youngest son would only eat noodles and was losing weight, plus he would go for long distance runs and didn't look well.

He rejected any medication and didn't improve until he turned 18 and moved out to live with a group of kids in melb, ( as I live in the country) but they smoked dope and did for a few years, but not now as he works for his uncle, and that was one condition, to not smoke it if he wanted to manage the orchard up north, and now he looks terrific.

It is very easy if we have had depression for a long time to believe that it wears off onto those around us, and there can be arguments for yes but also for no, but there is a problem here, because if we think that it's our fault then this only reinforces our own depression and what we have caused, which means that we are unable to be of any help and in this case it's your son.

You are presently depressed so it's not going to be easy for you to be of any assistance, and even if for some reason you suddenly had a recovery wouldn't mean that he would to.

Sorry but I need to think about this some more, and in the meantime I hope that others reply as well. L Geoff. x

Lottie · ‎18-10-2014

HI scaredmum

Im sorry for what your son is going through, adolescence is a tough time for everybody but more so for people who suffer from depression. I don't have any children. but I have grown up with mental illness in my family and I do believe that, as hideaway said, some people are more predisposed than others and it could be hereditary, but that is not verified. You shouldn't feel guilty for what is happening, from your post I can see that you are a loving and caring mum who only wants whats best for your son.

I think it would be a good idea for your son to get some professional help. Talking to your son would help, but as somebody who went through something similar when I was growing up, it can be tough to talk to your parents about depression. I would also suggest for you to encourage your son to do activities that he genuinely enjoys. Before all this happened did your son have any hobbies or interests? did he like playing sports, reading, playing video games? Doing stuff that you love can help with depression as well as a healthy diet and exercise. Encourage your son to see his friends again. As you yourself are aware, depression can be permanent but with the right help it is manageable and you can live a happy life.

I hope your son gets better soon 🙂

Luttes · ‎18-10-2014

Given that I would not wish what I have on my worst enemy, I remain terrified at the thought that one of my boys could "inherit" this sickness from me. My youngest is a little introverted and quiet at home as I was at his age, but there are a great many more distractions (especially electronic ones) these days than there were growing up in the 70s/80s. We remain encouraging of any and all interests that he shows, lately he has taken a shine to a small keyboard and he's been working out tunes by ear (really well too). It's heartening for me as a musician to witness and I'm doing what I can to encourage him but without pushing him into it.

I honestly don't know what the solutions are - I'm too consumed by my own hell at the moment.

Chris_B · ‎20-10-2014

Hi scaredmum,

Thanks for joining the forums, and sorry to hear your son is doing it so tough at the moment. In addition to the advice given above, you might want to check out the short videos below from our Have The Conversation resource.

These three videos feature young people from our blueVoices group talking about how to best support a young person when they're going through anxiety and/or depression. Hope you find them useful.

HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT

GOOD THINGS TO SAY

WHEN TALKING GETS TRICKY

scaredmum · ‎22-10-2014

Thankyou so much Christopher Banks. I was only saying to my hubby today that it is so hard to know how to deal with my son when he goes to a dark place and doesn't want to face the world. Not sure on how much I should pursuade or encourage him into doing things and know when to back off.

Im so glad I visited this website, and wish I had done it earlier.

Thanks again.

Scaredmum

scaredmum · ‎22-10-2014

Hi Life is not Good,

Thankyou for your response and advise.

I actually thought that I should go back and have some counselling for myself. Its been many years since I have. I occasionally sit in on my sons sessions and have got a lot out of them.

I try and talk to my son regularly and sometimes he opens up, other times he just doesn't want to talk. Taking one day at a time

Thankyou for the info about what BB has to offer. I wasn't aware that they sent info out.

I hope everything gets better for you and your sister 🙂

Cheers Scaredmum