Husbands depression and how he feels about me and Im pregnant!

[Charliebear]

I found out late last year that my husband is suffering from depression. He had worked himself into the ground and after convincing him to go to a counsellor his issues were brought right back to his parents splitting up when he was two. Another big issue which devastated me was he didn't know if he wanted to be in this marriage and thought that my son and I would be better off without him. He also went onto medication. After a lot of hard work we thought we were back on track and after struggling to fall pregnant for our second child we were successful with ivf. And yes struggling to fall pregnant again put pressure on him too. We were happy well I thought we were anyway. He has suffered another set back and didn't want to tell me cause he said he was protecting me and the health of our baby. But he lied to me about his whereabouts etc and I have been supportive and here with open heart so he can be honest with me. I feel so unloved and unwanted. There is no affection. We tell each other we love each other every day and he hasn't said it for a week now. His back to the counsellor and I am going to go separately too and request joint sessions. But I feel selfish cause I can't keep having to deal with him wondering if he loves me or not. I know it's the depression and I should be the supportive wife. Through sickness and health as they say. But my heart is breaking and I feel like my world is blowing up in my face. I'm struggling to be strong. I can't stop crying. Are there any support groups for carers? I'm so lost.

[Purple_Monkey_Dishwasher]

Morning Charliebear,

just seeing how you are? Hope that your well xo

[Charliebear]

Hi there!

Mixed emotions today. I'm keeping a notebook of positive and negative behaviours happening and how that makes me feel. The more I read it the more I realise there isn't much improvement atm. I've only started to note these so I have reference to discuss with my counsellor. It's our 10 year wedding anniversary early August. This to me will be a review date on where we sit. If I feel there has been no improvement then I will have to make a decision. I really don't like to state that but I have to. So we will see what happens. He is away as of tomorrow and won't return to Sunday as he is at a course. I've decided I'm not going to chase him with text messages to see how he is etc. if he wants to be in contact with us he can do it. I need to be strong with this. 

I hope you are all well xx

[Purple_Monkey_Dishwasher]

Hey Hey!

hope your having a better day today. I have been keeping a diary since last year and of course my husband decided to read it. Awwww!!! It's like he is just annoying the crap out of me lately. Trying very hard to tell myself, it's his depression talking when he is nasty to me. 

Big hugs 

PMD xo

[Charliebear]

Hey! I've out my notes on my iPhone and he doesn't know the password. These are my private feelings and I respect him by giving him his space so I would be very hurt if he read my notes. 

My massage was exceptional and the next day I got my hands and feet done. I thought why not. I deserve it. It's been so emotionally draining I just needed something for myself. I'm making an effort every day just to do something just for me. It could be read a book for 1/2hour in the sun, a facial, take a bath etc. why not!! 

My husband has gone away as I mentioned previously this weekend and although I will miss him; I am hoping not to stress too much in what he is doing down there. I'm hoping I can have a peaceful weekend and get some good night sleeps. 

It won't happen overnight but I still have hope we can get there xxx

[White_Rose]

Dear Charliebear

So sorry for not responding to you lately.  It sounds as though you are begining to pick up your own pieces and look after yourself.  This is great.  I do hope you will continue to care for yourself, your son and baby.

I have to tell you my life has gone into a tailspin just lately so I it's best to stay away from BB.  It's difficult to keep myself on track.

Take care of yourself

White Rose

[GabiT]

Dear Charliebear

I am father of a 6,5 year old son. And we are expecting a second one within 6 months.

I am feeling depressed and I am becoming more and more angry at my little son. Almost every other day I am getting angry at him. I realized that, I am feeling extreme responsibility on my shoulders. It might sound illogical but that's true. And guess what, I am son of a broken family. My dad and my mother got divorced when I was 70 days (yes, days) old and I have never seen my father. And being part of a borekn relationship makes you:

1) Angry

2) You feel guilty

3) and when having kids, you feel as if you can never manage it.

That's what is happening to me. And probably your husband is having the similar issues. I know it is difficult for you as you need help. You are pregnant and pregnancy itself is difficult. But trust me it has nothing to do with you! Support him... That's what he needs. And talk to him... don't force him to talk to you but talk to him and offer help.

I am confused, I am scared, I am having trouble, I am trying to find a way out. And I will do that for my kids. And I am sure he will do the same. 

If he needs to ask question, he is more than welcome. I will be pleased to share things with him. Maybe he will help me, maybe I will help him. 

Take good care of you

GT