How to help my daughter?

What_to_do_ · ‎04-05-2014

Please give me some advice on how to help my adult daughter who we believe to be suffering ongoing depression. She refuses point blank to engage in any conversations with anyone about seeking help. She has also isolated herself from all her friends and increasingly from family. We are so very concerned and do not know what to do....

Jo3 · ‎04-05-2014

Hi What to do

I really feel for you even though I am on the other side of your issue. I am an adult and for 4 yrs now suffering depression, childhood sexual abuse memories and borderline personality disorder. My parents abandoned me 4 yrs ago when I told them of the abuse as a child.

At least your daughter has you and your family to try and help her. Is there anyone that she is close to that may be able to talk to her, a friend of family member.

It is very hard to acknowledge that yes something is wrong and it is depression, a mental illness but with the help and support of a GP, a psych and support from family your daughter will get through this. I feel that she needs to take the first step to seeing her GP and asking for help which i know is very difficult to begin with.

And she probably needs to be on medication to help her with her depression.

I feel for you, I would keep trying to talk to her and saying to her that you are very concerned for her and pls seek help, even if you maybe went with her to the GP. I'm trying to offer some suggestions.

You know, I wish I had a mum who was supportive, caring and wanted to help me four years ago but she didn't want to know me at all. So I had to take the first step and ask for help and I am so glad I have.

Pls let us know how you go.

Take care

Jo

What_to_do_ · ‎06-05-2014

Thanks for advice Jo.....and thanks for sharing what must be very painful experiences. Life is a strange beast. There you are so keen to have had the support of a loving family and here we are with all the support to offer imaginable but it is not being accepted. Thanks for the encouragement and rest assured we will keep trying as she is an amazing person and deserves to be free of this burden and just be happy. I am so impressed with your resilience that you seem to have taken charge of your issues and done something about them rather than staying the victim. You must be such a strong person. I really hope life is better for you now and you just go from strength to strength. People like you are an inspiration. (-:

geoff · ‎07-05-2014

dear What to do, this is an unfortunate situation for you and your daughter who desperately needs help.

Can I suggest that the more you ask her the more she will be turned off, and dig her heels in, and that's because she maybe in denial, but this doesn't mean that she isn't depressed, as it appears as though she has this illness.

What I would do is to click under 'resources' at the top of this page, and order the free printed material that BB will send out to you, but before you give it to her I would take photo copies just in case she decides to throw it all away.

If she does dispose of it all, means that she is in denial, but eventually this will change, time wise I don't know, but bit by bit she may start to open up and talk about something which annoys her, but let her do the talking because the more pressure you put on her, she will close up again. Geoff.

What_to_do_ · ‎07-05-2014

Thanks for advice Geoff. I had wondered about giving her some printed info and wondered if it would be too confronting for - I would not anticipate a good reception. But I do get your point about digging her heels in little further each time it's mentioned. I might give it I go. Thanks again.