help my sister

[ndhlp]

My sister was diagnosed with depression about 3 months ago.

She has had ECT treatment along with taking medication. She was good for a month, and then she was down again. Not sure if this is the result of changing medication (her doctor reduced the amount of her medication she was taking).

Doctor has increased her medication, but she is still down, show little interests to everything, doesn't like talk much...

It is painful seeing her suffering. But I don't know what I can do. I assume doctor knows the best, she visits her doctor every 2-3 weeks.

Can you please advise what I can do to support/help her? She doesn't seem interested in talking.

[AGrace]

Hi ndhlp,

Thanks for posting here, and sharing your concern for your sister.

It sounds like she's having a tough time at the moment, and she's very lucky to have your support. In terms of assisting your sister the best thing you can do is be there for her, let her know you're willing to listen, and assist her with day to day things that she struggles with.

You may like to have a look at some of the RESOURCES available on Beyondblue's website. There is a brochure specifically for carers that gives a lot of information about supporting someone with mental illness.

You mentioned that your sister has had her meds changed, and that she sees her Dr every 2-3 weeks. Is she seeing a Psychiatrist/GP? When she's feeling very low it's worthwhile increasing the frequency of her sessions with a professional. Has she seen a Psychologist before? She has the option of going to a GP and getting a mental health plan arranged so that she gets 10 free sessions with a Psychologist. It would be worth her seeing someone weekly.

Despite the medication what other recommendations has her Dr made? I can understand the decline after ECT. I experienced a similar thing. I felt better for a couple of weeks but then came crashing down, and had to add to this the issue of memory loss.

You said that your sister is not interested in anything. Often with depression comes a lack of interest in things we used to find enjoyable. It's best to take baby steps with this. Trying to do one thing each day would be a good place to start. She may not be able to accomplish what she used to, so it might be as simple as a shower/bath.

Try to avoid putting too many expectations on her. No doubt she already feels useless, so it can be difficult to face the fact that your loved one just wants you to be better but you have no idea how to get there.

You said that she doesn't talk a lot, has she mentioned anything about a trigger for her depression? Are you aware of anything that happened a few months back that may have lead to her feeling so low?

I think that's probably enough for you for the moment. Keep in touch with us though. I'm happy to keep answering any questions you may have, and no doubt there are others here who will share their experiences with you.

AGrace

[ndhlp]

Thanks AGrace for your understanding and  kind reply.

My sister has been seeing a Psychiatrist, the same one for the last 3-4 months, and also she had a CAT (?) team working with her in June after she crashed down,  which lasted 2-3 weeks.

She is due to see the Psychiatrist this week. Her doctor encourages her to do some physical exercise, so she walks lot. She does go out sometimes with her husband to visit friends or join other social activities. But she said she didn't really enjoy that much.

Since my last post, she has improved abit, merely noticeable.

She hasn't visit any Psychologist yet, is going to.

I tried to be a listener, but she doesn't talk much. So, when I call her, it is more likely I talk more than she does. I guess this is the frustration, that I don't know how she thinks, how she feels. It seems she doesn't feel/think much.

You have made a very good point to me: don't put too much expectation on her. I think I understand this point, but I am sure there are times I just want her to be better, ignored the fact that she is the person suffering and wanting to be better the most. Thank you for your reminder, appreciated!

thanks again for your reply

[Sisters]

I support my sister long term and she sees professional help weekly.  Someone told me the best way I could help my sister (and me) was to plan to do something nice together on a regular basis.  She sometimes cancels on me but generally we make plans to go for coffee and cake, lunch, a walk with the dog in the park or watching a movie together - just normal things!  Then we don't necessarily have to talk about all the not so nice things that she talks to the professionals about.