Health anxiety and a worried partner!

[Worriedgirlfriend77]

My boyfriend suffers terribly from health anxiety. He is 49 years old and has been like this, he says, since he was a teenager. He is constantly taking his heart rate, which is his main focus. He can tell me at any time what his heart rate us and he is usually spot on.
Recently he has said it feels like his heart is skipping a beat and he has had major panic attacks. We have been to the doctor and he has told him they are palpitations and harmless and anxiety doesn't help. He has had an ECG which came back perfectly normal. The Dr told him his heart is fine. However he keeps feeling dread and is convinced something bad is going to happen. He is a FIFO worker and he is having an anxiety attack and I don't know how to help him. He doesn't want to take medication as he is not able to for the kind of work he does.
He is convinced something bad is going to happen which will lead to him losing his job and becoming a burden.
This is affecting his life, his happiness and our relationship.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Welcome to beyond blue.

I am sure this must be quite frustrating for you. Seeing your partner needing (?) help but unable to do much. There is good information on the website here for yourself if you want to check it out.

I don't really have any advice I could give you but I can listen. When I started seeing a psychologist I was not taking any medication. That happened later on. But there was a period of time when I was only doing talk therapy. Has your partner been able to speak with anyone about these thoughts? Or in the case of the panic attack, what was happening that might have brought it on?

The other question I have is whether your partner is aware of the effect this is having on you?

I am sure you have strong feelings for him otherwise you would not have posted here. So I guess the main question is... Putting medication aside for the moment, what do you think is stopping him from getting or wanting to get help? Or has he tried this already?

Anyway, I am here if you want someone to throw ideas at.

Tim

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Worriedgirlfriend,

Welcome to the forum. This sounds really tough. Supporting someone with panic or anxiety can be hard in itself and I hope that you have some supports around you that you can talk with about your worry. By joining and coming here to the forum you have found a wealth of experience and support.

Your partner is concerned about taking medication but I wonder if other options have been explored with them? For example, there is a treatment called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy that really works for some people. This can be accesses though a few different means such a counsellor or psychologist. Another type of treatment is called Mindfulness.

Some of these can be done online as a start. For example there is a program called Mindspot that supports people with anxiety and depression. It is free and can be done online with some phone contact. You could take a look at this program by going to the website www.mindspot.org

Another program that helps support people with worry and low mood is a Beyond Blue program called NewAccess. It is freely available but in only some parts of Australia. You can have a look at it here https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/newaccess/where-are-your-access-coaches-located

It is tough supporting a person with anxiety as they may not feel ready to get support. But what you can do is get support for yourself. This will allow you to build strength and also get some advise on how best to support your partner.

These are just some directions you might look at. One the other side of the coin, I wonder if you have sat down and had a serious conversation with your partner on getting some support? Perhaps they are so focused on medication being the only option to cure symptoms they are no looking at the large number of other ways anxiety can be treated. If you were to have a chat and get them to attend a GP appointment and perhaps do this together, is another way to start a pathway toward healing.

Be kind to yourself during this difficult and worrisome time. If you need to chat don't hesitate to contact the Beyond Blue support line on 1300 22 4636. Sometimes just talking out loud can make a huge difference.

Wish you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn