He doesn't love me anymore

[Unloved_wife]

I have been with my husband for 7years. Married for just a year. Both 32.

i knew before I married him that he had mental health issues before but I thought he had hold of them. He didn't.

We had huge problems at the beginning of the year, especially when he drank and finally he said he would go and see the doctor about it all. Months passes and it wasn't until we were in Fiji for a wedding and celebrate our 1 year he told me that he doesn't love me anymore, and really hasn't loved me since June. 

I'm devastated. We get back and after many tears he finally goes to the GP. She diagnoses him with PTSD (from a big incident 15years ago) and anxiety. He is now on medication, only for less than 2 weeks now. But he's talking about ending our marriage.

he wants to move out, permanently. We've been sleeping in separate beds for 3 weeks now, he doesn't touch me or kiss me.

I have convinced him to give it a month to really get the drugs working, and to start seeing a psychologist (there was a big wait time) but I just feel deflated and so heart broken! 

My husband doesn't love me.

i am trying to be positive and think that it's just "the fog" talking it's not him, but he's given up. Totally. He doesn't want to try.

Will this get better?? Am I an idiot to think he can change his mind and come back to me? 

I meant my wedding vows - good times and bad, but how can I be the only one fighting for our marriage??

 i feel so lost and alone.

[geoff]

dear Wife, Hideaway has suggested some sound advice, but what I would like to ask you is there anything else that he maybe worried about, because if this is the case that a major problem exists, and I'm talking about wanting to leave you, then this will destabilise his thoughts in general. L Geoff. x

[dougall]

Hi Unloved wife sometimes the best thing we can do it get away from the situation.  My experience in reverse my husband wanted to leave as he could not cope with my anxiety anymore so I suggested we see a counselor, I did for 6 months on my own then 6 months with him.  He had told me at the beginning of the year that he wanted out, not that he did not love me anymore he just did not want to live with me.  The counseling went good and we thought that we could get through it, it did not as he found it hard to change and try and understand the illness so he left.  I have been in a state since then but have realised him leaving has given me space to try and understand the illness and the affect it has on other people, the people that care, I still love him and see him everyday, there is a friendship left nothing more.  I think what I am trying to say the both of you are going through a traumatic time and each one of you does not want to hurt the other.  Sometimes space and time works things out for you.