DEPRESSION

[Bingo4]

I have had depression all of my life. Now I am being tested by my son who has had 20 years of depression. I don.t know what to do any more. He has sought medical attention, but I am at my wit's end about what to do for both  for him and myself. I keep fearing the knock on the door.

[Neil_1]

Hi Bingo

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing us your post.

It's a short, sharp post but also very troubling.  Your last sentence is of real concern.

I'm sorry but I do have to ask some questions to try to help us get a bit more information so we're better informed to provide some hopefully helpful advice to you.

You've had depression all of your life - I'm assuming that you're under professional care with GP's and psych's assisting you and perhaps medicated with anti-depressants?

Your son has had 20 years of depression - and he has sought medical assistance, but judging by the strong nature of your post, things are just not working?

I really do hope that you can get back to us as we would really like to help you (and your son) as much as possible.

Kind regards

Neil

[Bingo4]

Thank you Neil1. I have had depression since age of 5. I was abused for ten years. Also when I was around 17 months my mother had a baby who was deceased at 4 months. My  mother mourned her of course until the day my mother passed. So a lot of my mother's time was taken up with caring for her since she was born with an illness. I was 17 months old. I always felt responsible for her death although not over the last few years. I have a good G.P. psychiatrist, psychologist. But sometimes depression just takes over. Finding it difficult to move, be motivated etc .I loved my work but had to leave because of anxiety and depression. Also I had a melanoma and sarcoma about 8 yeas ago. My son has been depressed also since childhood. He is now in his 30s and gets extreme depression. I have always been his main carer and I am exhausted from that as I just don't know what he may do. He has medical care at present..I feel I can't carry my depression and someone elses. I am exhausted. The rest of the family, I have asked to help me, It has been up to me as they don't understand depression, They are trying to help more now,but so far it has not relieved my role very much. I have had other posts, but one of them was not mine.

[Bingo4]

Am alive or m I dead? That's what I am pondering. I am not contemplating taking my life but this is how it feels right now. I get too tired to write more,

[geoff]

dear Bingo, a lot of the time I miss so many very important posts and this one of yours is one.

It's been a long and terrible time for you, your son and your mother who have all been struck so badly with this illness for such a long long time, and there never seems to be any relief for now the two of you, but also with your mum.

PTSD has affected you for so long, and to be able to try and help your son who also has depression is such a difficult job, and really you not are not mentally able to do this, and I don't mean this in a bad way, it's just that someone suffering with an illness, especially like depression doesn't have the capacity to be able to think clearly, nor logically about what to do.

This only happens because your suggestions or advice is something that maybe you have tried yourself, and could have achieved a little bit for you, but not enough to help yourself overcome this illness, which maybe your son knows about.

Also his thinking would be, well nothing has worked for dad so why would it work for me, which really means you are chasing your own tail, and there is never ever any chance of catching it.

If you take your own life, and please we don't want this to happen, then there is every chance that your son will also do it, so this is double jeopardy.

I would suggest that you click onto 'resources' at the top and order all the printed material with regards to depression, it's free, so that your family can read it all, this will hopefully get them to understand what depression means for someone.

You really need more help by someone else, or other people, because your sons depression is increasing your own depression, and vice-versa, so there is no way either of you are going to improve, so basically you need a rest, and whether this means that either of you go into hospital, because at least one of you have to get better, before this situation ever improves.

I feel so much for you and your son, and can't believe how devastating your situation is, but I am so happy that you have come onto this site, and we really wish that we can help you. Geoff.

[Bingo4]

Thank you

Yes I am exhausted. He has said that he did not know what he would do if something happened to me. When he leaves here I am not sure what will happen. As his mood his low. I will look at the resources. I have been trying to get the whole family to come to his aid as they  say they don't know how to cope with depression. They have improved with that aspect, which is good. I am just worn out, unmotivated and finding it difficult to cope with day to day activities.

[geoff]

dear Bingo, it is very exhausting and I appreciate how you feel.

This information will explain a great deal for you and your family, also suggest to them to google 'coping with depression' as there's so much on the net for them to find out, and I really hope that they can help you.

Take care. Geoff.