I have the most incredible boyfriend. He is 27 and so am I. We live together in a share house and he is going through a really difficult time. It seems to me that his depression, his constant crying and devastating mood swings are borne from 3 very demanding and intense things that have happened to him all at once. Its not for me to explain them, despite my anonymity. Imagine if he trawled this place and found me laying it all out. He would feel betrayed and I feel him on that.
He loves me. He cares for me. But he cant give any of himself and he is pushing me away. He imagines its out of protection, he thinks he is poisonous. I think that I want to be closer to him, to help him, but I cant. I feel rejected and I am being emotionally drained. I feel alone, even though we live together. He feels alone. But I dream we could be helping him to alleviate him of what is pulling him down, but I dont think this is possible.
What I want to know is how to best support someone who is beginning to spiral into depression. Can you soften the landing? Do you give them space because of how intensely personal it all is? Is it possible to do more damage to your loved one by being there all the time? Please answer, people who have cared for someone with depression or people who have suffered through the black dog themselves with someone who wanted to be by their side.
