Depression/Anxiety In Young Children

[Mia77]

Hey there I am wanting feedback/help from any parents out there dealing with kids that have overwhelming feelings they don't know how to deal with.  I have an almost 11 year old son that for the last week has been very mopey, withdrawn, sad, angry, miserable to name a few.  This followed a bad scooter incident while he was at a friends b'day party (we, his parents, were not there).  His history is that his father, my husband,  does suffer very bad anxiety driven depression, to the point we nearly lost him to it 7 years ago.  When speaking to the professionals way back then I happened to ask the question was this condition hereditary, to which he answered, yes - even moreso than diabetes. We live in a remote area without access to many facilities he has seen a physchologist (?) with the ed qld department Bush Kids as his confidence in himself was affecting his schoolwork, we have taken him to a general councillor which just wanted to talk at us and about his book he was publishing bleh, so in short we have tried different avenues to no avail, do I put this down to pre teen hormones and angst or do I pursue it and if so how/where/who?  Please help it hurts to see my first born in pain when I have no idea how to help him????   

[geoff]

dear Mia, hi and welcome.

For you this must be pretty terrifying, and it is indeed a worry.

When your doctor said that your husband's condition was hereditary, well yes and no, but I'm not a qualified psychologist to actually say, however some people are able not to get any previous condition that could be passed onto their children, such as my Mum and Dad, especially Dad didn't have depression, and I realise that what I am saying could be untrue as Mum could have hidden it, but I doubt this very much, because looking back there were no indications at all.

I could refer to other situations but I won't, however what they have said could be true, but that's not the problem you are facing here, and this is how to cope with it.

A 11 year old boy then his hormones are going wide and this will continue until he's an adult, so his moods will fluctuate, and by saying this I'm not saying that he has depression, he could have, but a child psychologist should be sort, but living in a remote area is not going to be easy, so why don't you ring the BB 24/7 phone number.

I don't think that I have been of any help but would like to follow up. L Geoff. x

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mia77

Thanks for taking the time to share with our online community. There are a lot of parents here who can probably relate to your story, in particular, being concerned about your child and being unsure what to do about it.

Usually with depression the lowered mood lasts for longer than normal and effects how a person is able to do what they would normally do. School can become tricky, friendships may become strained or distant, sleep and appetite might change. So it is really about how long the changes that you notice last and how much they affect your son’s life; a normal reaction to stress or a difficult event usually passes after a period of time. Falling off the scooter in front of his mates might have been humiliating and he is just working through that, or there might be other issues that are worrying him. It would be great if you could talk with him about this and try to work out what you think are his main worries; that will help you decide what next.

You also mentioned that he has had some other struggles in the past so getting help might also help him to build his coping skills and confidence – even if he does not have depression. Often just talking things through with someone independent can help a young person learn a few more coping skills that they can use in everyday life.

If he is willing to seek some help then your GP might be a good place to start, alternatively a different psychologist or our Support Service, 1300 22 4636. The other option is kidshelpline (www.kidshelp.com.au/kids). They offer phone and online support – that might be helpful considering the limited options you have locally.

Mia77 we understand that sometimes young people are also reluctant to talk about things. Keep persevering, encourage him to chat when he has something on his mind to you or another adult that he trusts and importantly continue to show him that you care. And please come back and chat to us here on the forums; together we can help you and your son find a positive way forward. There is also a resource on our website that might be of help, Anxiety and depression in young people; What you need to know.

Take care.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Mia77,

I agree with what has been said but just wanted to add something that might be useful for you.

There is an internet resource called COPMI (Children of Parents with Mental Illness) that can help both kids understand what's happening with their parents and parents help the kids understand.  If you are interested the link is: http://www.copmi.net.au/

The other thing I think would be worth mentioning is just because you live in a rural area doesn't necessarily mean that they're aren't avenues that you can pursue.  There are lots of psychologists that do tele-conferencing now which means that you can see them via Skype or visit your GP and hook up through the Internet there.  This can be a lot more accessible if you are unable to access some assistance.

Hope this helps.

Take care 🙂