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Can’t stop crying

ChristyL
Community Member
My husband has major depression and has been off work for some months now. This year has been the worst year for his depression with the last few weeks just terrible. He cries from the moment he wakes until he goes to sleep. He works in our local public hospital and I believe he really needs to be admitted for treatment but he refuses to even think about it as he says he knows all the staff. I have spoken to his GP and psychologist in the past but nothing ever happens and he is not improving. A change in medication hasn’t even been discussed. I don’t know what to do as he has told me how degraded he would feel going to hospital where he works. 
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

Sorry to hear this. Have you tried a hospital further away? 

 

I would return to his GP and almost demand action like- referral to another psychologist, therapist etc. Also ask them why he cannot swap medications. I noticed you said that topic hasnt been discussed... well, sorry but some GP's need to be led towards those topics. We patients need to persist because I believe as much respect I have for Dr's they are human and work repetitiously all day, they can lose their way.

 

I have a few threads for you and hubby to read and you only need to read the first page of each.

 

 https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-our-ultimate-goal/m-p/36563/highlight/true

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-our-ultimate-goal/m-p/36563/highlight/true

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

 

Our library is extensive, use search function.

 

I'd like to talk more, I hope the links help, reply anytime I'm here daily.

 

TonyWK

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi ChristyL

 

I feel so much for you both as you face such a heartbreaking and incredibly upsetting set of challenges, with one of those challenges involving nobody taking action at your request. I agree with Tony regarding some GPs having to be led or pushed into taking action. It can be such a huge challenge to express exactly how we feel but sometimes it needs to be done. I imagine you emotionally feel some of the following, when it comes to your husband's GP and psychlogist

  • I can feel you not taking this as seriously as you need to
  • I can feel you sitting on your hands as these meds are making no difference or a possibly even making things worse
  • I can feel you dismissing me too easily
  • I feel rage, frustration and more
  • I can feel you doing nothing. I can feel your neglect or negligence

I imagine the second you mention the word 'negligence' it will get them listening, as this (from a medical perspective) can relate to legal matters. Sometimes you gotta trigger people in any way that works. If a team is employed by you and your husband to care, they have a duty of care that must be met.

 

As I say, can be so hard to express the way we feel, especially when we're expressing it toward people we were conditioned to not question or challenge, from a young age. Whole new challenge in life when the need arises. Have to say anger and pure frustration are great motivators at times. As a gal who's more of a people pleaser, I've found there to have been times where I've had to work myself up to a healthy and constructive sense of intolerance and even anger, in regard to being heard and having progress made.

 

I can understand your husband not wanting to be admitted to the place he works in, especially if gossip and rumor run rife through the place. Your husband is so blessed to have you in his corner, as he fights possibly the toughest fight of his life. If he's possibly breaking down everything that's led up to this point, take note of everything in that break down as it might help offer some insight. Is there a possibility he's also completely exhausted while having tried so hard manage so much in his life over time as well as trying to manage a job that I imagine is incredibly demanding and stressful? Breaking point can be an incredibly brutal place to be.