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Sophie_M Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents... View more

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents and caregivers. For some, this change might feel like a welcome relief - a clearer way to manage social media use and protect young people. For others, there may be concerns about how it will affect access to online support, questions around how age verification will actually work, or frustration and powerlessness over a decision beyond our control. All of these feelings are valid. If you’re a parent or caregiver, or you have some young people in your life that will be affected by these restrictions, how are you feeling about this change? We’ve created this space for anyone caring for young people to share their thoughts, ask questions, and support each other through the uncertainty of the months ahead.Kind regardsSophie M

Carmela Are you supporting a depressed partner? My tips from 18 years of experience
  • replies: 41

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel s... View more

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel supported - this also covers support groups - online or face to face. Don't let stigma stop you from reaching out. 2. Relationship boundaries - identify what is acceptable and not. My general platform is that physical abuse is unacceptable as well as regular demeaning/berating comments. Communicate this openly so everyone understands. 3. Coping tools - this could be exercise, meditation, reading a book, meeting friends, etc. They are important for your mental health. 4. Knowledge is power - research to understand about depression. The more you know, the better care you can provide. 5. Remember your partner in the good times - this is their true selves, not the darkness. 6. Listen and show receptivity - without judgement or anger. If communicate becomes strained, the timeout can provide clarity. Encourage communication gently and try not to push. 7. Seek counselling - sharing your feelings can provide an opportunity to off load the heavy stuff and identify resilience and coping strategies. 8. Work as a team - don't let mental illness be in the driver's seat. Offer to go to the Dr's and support them. Understand medication and side effects. Be understanding that some days are harder than others. 9. Words are powerful - remember what you say cannot be taken back. 10. Carer Self-esteem and self-worth - if you compromise these for the sake of supporting your partner, you are likely to live with resentment towards your partner and the circumstances you find yourself in. 11. Don't forget the children - challenging circumstances at home can affect them mentally and emotionally. Speak about mental illness (COPMI.com.au - has some great resources) and be a strong foundation toward maintaining normality in their daily activities. 12. Intimacy - there are many variables here, so from my experience - keep communication open and make couple time to connect. When my husband was depressed, daily hugs or holding hands wherever possible worked for us. Some carers I have spoken with said their partner would demand intimacy. My personal position is that intimacy is about love without demands or attachments relating to expectation. Demands only deplete the goodness in the connection and sharing a a loving experience. [Moderator's note: this thread is for sharing tips on what has worked for you in supported a loved one with a mental health condition. In order to help us keep this thread focused on solutions, please start a new thread if you are seeking support from the community around how to best support your loved one.]

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EAOA79 When to seek help for a 7 year old?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I feel completely out of my depth when helping our child who is 7 and appears to be suffering from Anxiety and self doubt. At what point does it go from normal childhood behaviour and when is it time to seek help? Our child often misses out of ha... View more

Hi, I feel completely out of my depth when helping our child who is 7 and appears to be suffering from Anxiety and self doubt. At what point does it go from normal childhood behaviour and when is it time to seek help? Our child often misses out of having fun because they see the negative in everything and is fearful of making mistakes. At school our child is bright, confident and a wonderful friend to everyone however at home they become withdrawn, doubtful of themselves and afraid. I have put off getting help for so long because I felt it was a reflection of our parenting skills. Any other parents have experience with this?

ThrowAwayAnon Supporting depressed wife.
  • replies: 5

Hi, My wife and I have been together for the last 10 years and married for 3 and a half. Over the last 6 weeks there has been a marked change in mood and attitude. I won't get fully into depth about it but she is having thoughts that at times she doe... View more

Hi, My wife and I have been together for the last 10 years and married for 3 and a half. Over the last 6 weeks there has been a marked change in mood and attitude. I won't get fully into depth about it but she is having thoughts that at times she doesn't love me. I know this is a common theme amongst people with depression due to what I assume is part of anhedonia. In all honesty I'm sure we'll come through this and everything will be alright, as there are no "red flags" in our relationship but if I'm 100% honest I'm scared to the core. I'm spending most of the day nauseated, anxious and at times in tears. My biggest problem is that I need to be strong for her at the moment. I've told her that i'll be with her throughout the whole thing and i'll fight until everything is fine but I am afraid that by her seeing me as hurt she'll not open up to me as easily and will "protect" me by not being as open. I had a period years ago with intrusive thoughts that I didn't love her (as we were getting engaged) and she had to deal with the same type of thing for about 2 years, so now I understand how hard it is. I know it's a hard situation with not knowing whats truth and whats not and to compound things we have a 1 year old which allows no down time to relax. What is the best way of supporting someone who's feeling hollow and "Dead inside" while looking after myself? So far she is seeing a psychologist, but its a matter of finding if the depression is causing the thoughts or vice versa. Thanks.

FeeR Letting my depressed boyfriend go is so hard
  • replies: 3

Hi. This week I let my boyfriend go, after 6 years. He has been so depressed- but unwilling to get help, he says he can’t feel anything- not love or happiness and can’t give it either. I know I have to let him go for me, and he needs to find himself ... View more

Hi. This week I let my boyfriend go, after 6 years. He has been so depressed- but unwilling to get help, he says he can’t feel anything- not love or happiness and can’t give it either. I know I have to let him go for me, and he needs to find himself too but it’s so hard, I love him so much. I can’t eat and there is still so much to do- packing up our house, moving, cleaning. I’m not ready to move on but I have no other choice- I have to live in a sharehouse and I’m sad and angry. I feel like a failure for it getting this bad for not being able to help him. Trying to be strong

_IDontKnow_ My friend is abused, I need serious help with this.
  • replies: 1

Her: Ok well.. Her: I guess ill tell u Her: My parents aren't the nicest they always abuse verbally and motionly, Ik they do it for the good of me but Sometimes they dont understand how much it hurts, One main reason why I such bad self estem is beca... View more

Her: Ok well.. Her: I guess ill tell u Her: My parents aren't the nicest they always abuse verbally and motionly, Ik they do it for the good of me but Sometimes they dont understand how much it hurts, One main reason why I such bad self estem is because of my parents believe it or not they call me ugly, super skinny, a brat a horrible daughter and sometimes I feel so bad I feel like hiding and never coming out.. Me: How long has this been happening? Her: ever since I was like 7 Her: Pls dont tell anyone I dont want help Her: I only told u cuz u asked. Me: I wont tell anyone, don't worry. Its good that you at least told someone though. It helps to get it off of your chest. (White Lie, She needs help.) Her: Yeah it does but it doesnt help that much Her: Oh well i guess I will have to live with it Me: wait Me: have you told your relatives about it? Her: And trust me I have tried being a better kid, they still don't care Me: also, why dont you want help? Her: And yes I have told my relatives they tell my parents to stop, they do but then forget and do it again without knowning Her: I dont want help cuz I just dont I dont want ppl knowning I dont want others to feel sorry for me, It doesnt help and I dont want them to be sad etheir (This is the part that I cant help with. She refuses to get help, even when I try.) Her: Im ok tho and I just gotta get thru this by myslef and have resilient Me: I see. If you need help, Ms. Dawson(School counsellor) is the go-to. She won't feel sad or sorry, she can help. Her: I dont want help its ok but thx for asking Me: Okay. How often does this happen? Her: Nearly everyday its ok Im used to it Info: She is thirteen years of age, pretty much the nicest person you will ever meet, and extremely intelligent, but yeah, abused and low self esteem. It is horrible, and thats why i came here for help.

Sparkey8 Not a punch-bag. How to set boundaries?
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, new to the forum. My husband has been dx'd with depression and is on an SSRI which he sometimes (a few times a week) forgets to take. He has only been on it for a couple of weeks. He's a great guy, I love him dearly however we are having iss... View more

Hi guys, new to the forum. My husband has been dx'd with depression and is on an SSRI which he sometimes (a few times a week) forgets to take. He has only been on it for a couple of weeks. He's a great guy, I love him dearly however we are having issues with him lashing out at me verbally. He criticises the way in which I look after our daughter which makes me very sad, because it's not true and during his ok times he would never even think such things. A few weeks ago he listed off 18 things about me that he felt were wrong or that were my bad points. He has since apologised for that but I can't stop thinking about them, because most of them were true, stuff like I don't care for my things enough etc. What I need to know is: how do you establish what is unacceptable behaviour whilst still supporting your partner? How do you let things go that they say in their bad times? Am I just being over-sensitive to these remarks?

Blackboy How to help my wife who has a serious psychiatric condition
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new here but I hear many good things about Beyond Blue. I hope I can get good advice. My wife of 34 years, who is now 61 years old, has become seriously mentally ill. She has had alcoholism and depressive thinking all her life, but in the las... View more

Hi, I'm new here but I hear many good things about Beyond Blue. I hope I can get good advice. My wife of 34 years, who is now 61 years old, has become seriously mentally ill. She has had alcoholism and depressive thinking all her life, but in the last 2 weeks it has got a lot worse. Now she sleeps nearly all day, or at least stays in bed; she eats and drinks very little; she does not take her prescribed medication. Medical professionals have given her very good advice as to how to get back to mental and physical health, but she does not follow the advice. She is getting weaker and has collapsed on the floor 3 times in the last week. She does not want to see her doctor and does not want to go into hospital or any treatment centre. She often drinks wine when I am not looking. I phoned a mental health team to see if she could be taken in for mental health treatment but they said no because she is not actually talking about suicide. She is wasting away and is incapable of simple tasks or of looking after herself. I do whatever I can to help her, but I can't force her to eat or drink or take her medicine or stay off the wine. Nothing I can say cheers her up, she just curls up into a foetal ball and stays in bed. I am sure she is in desperate need of medical and psychiatric care but she won't go. What can I do to get her the help she needs? Thanks in advance to anyone who can tell me what I can do!

johnt88 Helping someone with depression
  • replies: 6

Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting on these forums. I'm lucky enough to not suffer from depression or anxiety much. However, my wife suffers from both. She takes medication etc but there are times I feel powerless to help her, as I am not exp... View more

Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting on these forums. I'm lucky enough to not suffer from depression or anxiety much. However, my wife suffers from both. She takes medication etc but there are times I feel powerless to help her, as I am not experienced in those feelings/ thoughts and I have, on occasion, become frustrated, which worsens the situation. She's the best person and deserves the best. We are happily married and our relationship with each other is fantastic. However, there are things that get her down that I wish I could help with. She used to be a bit overweight and despite losing over 60kgs, she still feels unattractive and has low self- esteem (I am extremely attracted to her btw) and I make a conscious effort tom tell her how beautiful/ sexy she is and I mean it, but she either doesn't believe it or can't believe it (again, showing my ignorance to mental health). We have both been having fertility issues over the past 3 or so years, which has been very hard on both of us, but with her pre- existing mental health conditions, it has been harder on her. We are still confident that we will fall pregnant shortly, but I find it a lot easier to be optimistic about a lot of things than she does. We have not had sex this year that I can remember and she assures me that this is not because of me, but that it is to do with her not feeling attractive and not wanting/ deserving sex. To be clear, I would trade ever having sex again for my wife's happiness and health in a heartbeat, but this situation has made me feel slightly unattractive/ unloved even though I do know she loves me. Are these feelings warranted? There are other issues that have impacted my wife's mental health, such as being sexually abused as a teenager. She has also confessed that she recently contemplated not being here and that I would be better off without her, which scared me so much as I love her so much and I need her here. Basically, I want to know how I can help and what to do when she has severe depression and anxiety. A side note is that with the fertility issues and my own issues with losing multiple jobs due to redundancy/ unemployment, I have occasionally felt useless and I have started to become more stressed/ depressed/ anxious than normal. However, I feel that I can't bring this up with my wife as whenever I do, she blames herself for things, even though it's not her fault, which then makes her depression worse, so I mainly stay silent. Thanks so much for any advice

Caz56 Anxious
  • replies: 2

Hi I woyld like to know if there are any parents going through Anxiety,Depression & Meltdowns with their child?

Hi I woyld like to know if there are any parents going through Anxiety,Depression & Meltdowns with their child?

Tre16 Help for depressed teenager
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I’m a mum of a 16yo teenager girl. She has been depressed and having suicidal thoughts for some time now but has only recently opened up to me about it. She has told me she won’t do anything as she doesn’t want to hurt me but I just don’t k... View more

Hi there, I’m a mum of a 16yo teenager girl. She has been depressed and having suicidal thoughts for some time now but has only recently opened up to me about it. She has told me she won’t do anything as she doesn’t want to hurt me but I just don’t know what to do to help her. She has always had issues with friendships with others around her own age. She gets along really well with older people though. We have tried counselling many times over the years but she just won’t open up to anyone she doesn’t know or trust. I know she is lonely. She does prefer to hang out at home but it worries me that she doesn’t have friends her own age who want to spend time with her. She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 10 and went on various medications over the years which never really helped. She buried her head in the sand and did not want to understand or learn about her condition. I’ve never wanted her to be on the medication but had to be guided by doctors opinions of my perception of what had been going on. A few months ago she took the initiative to read up on the side affects of the medications she was taking of which she was experiencing almost all side effects. She then stopped all medication cold turkey swapping to taking vitamins instead. That was about 5 months ago now and all the side effects she was experiencing stopped almost immediately. When she opened up to me recently about her thoughts I said to her that it worried me because she had stopped taking the medication but she said she has been having the depression/suicidal thoughts even when on the medication. She just didn’t tell me about it. I’d love to know if anyone else has been through something similar as a parent and if you have any tips or ideas which may help. Thank you.

Sarah4000 Helping your adult sister
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone I've come here as I don't know how to help my sister. Thanks in advancefor reading. My sister has struggled with mental illness the last 20 years but this last year she has become much worse. I don't know if she sees a mental health provi... View more

Hi everyone I've come here as I don't know how to help my sister. Thanks in advancefor reading. My sister has struggled with mental illness the last 20 years but this last year she has become much worse. I don't know if she sees a mental health provider as she is very hard to communicate with and doesn't welcome mental health treatment. In recent times she has hallucinated, thought she was possessed, thought someone was going to kill her and now hears things. This is all very real in her mind. She has also put herself in what I believe to be very dangerous situations. She is unable to manage herself or her finances and isn't really open or of a sound enough mind to get help. I generally only hear from her when she needs money or is in a crisis. I love her and want her to live a happy, content life but I really don't know how to help her. I've helped her the last 20 years and always been there but I don't know that I've really improved her situation. Any advice is really appreciated as I'm lost. Thank you