Alcoholism

[Milly75]

I have been living with an alcoholic for 15 years. I work fulltime & pay all expenses  for the household. My partner does not work & sells anything of worth to pay for alcohol. He has no access to my money or credit cards, nor do I enable him. He constantly reaches out to his mum for $ and she gives in every time. I have spoken with her, pleading for her to stop giving him money as he is an alcoholic, yet it falls on deaf ears. He will take her last $20 without hesitation. I have overcome many challenges in my life, from sexual abuse as a young child, drug dependency as an adult and several suicide attempts. I have been clean 17 years now from both amphetamines and alcohol. I am in a job that I love, have a fantastic relationship with my son ( which took many years to rebuild) and adore my 3 grandchildren who's lives I am apart of. My partner does not come to family get togethers nor spend any time with my son, grandchildren or parents, choosing to stay home and drink. In the past 7 years we have become 2 people who share a house and separate beds. I cannot understand what is stopping me from leaving him, after overcoming such huge obstacles in my life, why am I finding this so hard.

[geoff]

Hello Milly75, thank you posting your comment, because to live with someone who has an addiction is not easy at all, as family heirlooms may be sold just to purchase in this case alcohol.

I know how you must feel as I used alcohol as a way of self-medicating myself in depression but have not had a drink for over three years, but what it did was force a divorce, but now I have re-established a very good relationship with my wife.

This may happen for some people but it's not usual.

You have done extremely well for blocking him to grab any of your money, unfortunately your partners mother is not abiding by being sensible and only adding to his addiction.

You have overcome many challenges during your life which you should be congratulated for and thankfully regained contact with your son and his grandchildren, a wonderful achievement by you.

Making yourself free from your partner really needs to happen, it will help you move forward, so you can start this by either selling your home and then go your separate ways, because he certainly couldn't buy your share as he doesn't work.

I can't tell you what to do, but I highly suggest that this needs to happen to benefit your future life and to enjoy your life with your grandchildren, who will be absent from watching your partner drink himself away.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Bunny6]

You deserve SO much better than this! 

You are clearly a strong lady. 

You might love him, but do you 'like' what he is?

Please preserve your self esteem and get yourself far away from a toxic relationship. You can only save yourself.

If he wishes to self destruct, it really is not your issue.

Look after yourself (no-one else will...)