Advice for helping my boyfriend who has recently been disagnosed with severe depression

[Horsegirl28]

Hi, I won't say my name due to wanting to remain anonymous, but my partner and myself have been together for about 4 years, we live together with out kitty cat.

My partner opened up to me about feeling depressed and that he feels that everyone in this world would feel better without him here and that he is a burden on everyone. I noticed he wasn't as up beat and bubbly as before, but I did not realise he had fallen into such a a dark place. he mentioned that he had a plan to end his life and said he stopped just before it was too late.

Am I a bad person for feeling angry about this? That he would just ever so suddenly leave me behind, it's hard to think that he would think I'd be better off without him. I sympathize with him and have helped him find support with his DR and seeing a therapist, but every now and then he has really bad days, he gets horrible head aches and severe back pain. 😞 I find it hard to sympathize when it comes across as slackness not even trying to make thing sbetter for himself, and as soon as he does he just sooks about it again. 😞

I feel awful for saying that, but its so so hard. 😞 I love the heck outta this guy and would be lost without him but everything I do doesn't work. I just want him to be better, I feel like I have no support and its sending me into a dark place too.

[quirkywords]

Hello Horsegirl,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you had to wait for a reply, it does happen sometimes.

that a reply does take longer to get answered.

It can be ashock when someone you love and thought you knew very well reveals they are in a very dark place.

I can understand how you may feel angry and maybe frustrated.

You have supported him to see his Dr and a therapist.

Depression is very hard for the person suffering and difficult and confusing for the person trying to help him

Sometimes you can feel so exhausted by the emotional pain you have no energy to do anything at all as just standing up can make you tired.

I wonder what you mean by everything you do doesn't work? Does your boyfriend say this or do you feel this is so.?

Would it be possible to go to the doctor and or therapist together so you can explain how you feel ?

Here is a link on this website about supporting someone with a mental health condition.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

It is important for you to look after yourself , as supporting someone else can be tiring and as you know, bring you down.

Feel free to post here and keep the discussion going.

Quirky

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