Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

[Guest_1211]

I have been seeing her for about 2 years now... but I mean, why would she ask me? I don’t know. It feels like a trick question. I want to disappear. She asked me two weeks in a row, and I just looked down and shrugged my shoulders. I don’t know what to say.

[smallwolf]

When my psych asks me how I have been... sometimes when times have been good I also reply that I feel like a fraud and my problems don't really exist.

Perhaps they were picking up on what you were not saying?

Or using that question as a way of finding out what might have been on you mind.

This is all speculation of course. From your post though... what do you want to disappear from?

[Sophie_M]

Hi fernwehr,

Thanks for reaching out to the community. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling like you want to disappear. We understand that this feeling might be overwhelming. If you're not sure how to answer your psychologist's question, it might be worth communicating this to them so that they can approach the conversation in a way that makes you feel more comfortable.

It's good to hear that you have sought help, and you are still trying - well done! We think it's really strong of you to have this persistence.You might find some of the following Beyond Blue resources helpful:

• “Talk about it"” - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it
• "Personal stories" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/personal-stories
• "Journey to wellness" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/journey-to-wellness

If you would like to post further, please tell us more about yourself, what's on your mind and how we can best help you.

[blondguy]

Hi fernwhehr

Therapists do ask these questions only to see how we are really going as I had the same questions from my psychologist too

If you want to elaborate on what you are going through we can provide you with more effective support

The forums are a non judgemental and safe place for you to post

my kind thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Fernwehr, and welcome to the forums.

That's a good question and I've been asked it many times by the same psychologist and there are numerous reasons why this may happen depending on the situation you're in.

Perhaps if I can make some suggestions:

-to monitor how our week/month has actually been and then determine what type of counselling they need to concentrate on

-they can gauge by the look on your face, and if you say 'good' but don't seem that way, it only takes a few minutes to realise

-if you say 'not good' then they can ask 'why' and zoom into what's happened

-I've walked in being 'good' but left the opposite

-you maybe good in one particular area that's been discussed, and that's a start, but all those other concerns haven't been overcome

-it's easy to say 'yes' but after some discussion and talking more about the topic, there are parts that I have neglected to think about

I'm not qualified to say any of this, but experience has taught me this.

There are other answers to your question.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_1211]

I actually don’t feel too good at all. It’s overwhelming right now.

There’s a lot going on I guess. I feel like a fraud and imposter because I act like it’s all fine but I feel like everything is crumbling beneath me. I am a leader of a team, I have people to take care of, students to worry about, my own children...

I have had health issues for the past 18 months, and it’s been really difficult to manage that and all my other responsibilities. There are a lot of people relying on me.

But I’m in physical pain. Recovering from surgery again. I can’t eat properly. I can’t sleep. When I do I have nightmares. I’m plagued by flashbacks (some visual, most just emotional). I am fighting self harm urges.

I am seen as capable, caring, happy and strong. I can’t show anyone how weak, sad, scared and fake I really am.

I have been trying to help myself with my psychologist who I trust, but I still have trouble being honest. I’m scared all the time. I freeze and zone out and then get so ashamed of myself and angry for wasting her time, my family’s resources, and for not doing better.

Im trying to help myself but I feel like I’m digging down deeper rather than up.

[LostCyclist]

I'm sure your therapist knows, but is perhaps wanting to see if you are aware of it...understand you have depression...and generally get a sense for how you perceive your own situation and headspace.

Some answers are worth exploring together but answering yourself. Saying that you are can be a big step in moving forward?

Don't feel you are being judged. They are there to help you and support you exploring your own head. Don't feel scared to explore. It might be damn hard to accept that you are depressed. Perhaps you associate things with depression that stop you acknowledging you are?

I was almost debilitated with depression, thinking it was a physical issue post accident. 3 years on...and I now have to unravel the damage I've done to myself in my own head. The first step, even though I thought I 'got depressed' sometimes, was acknowledging I 'have depression'. Two very different things.

It might seem like a prison to be labelled with that. But it also might be freeing. To the extent that you aren't focussing on something else being the issue/cause. And working to understand why you are this way.

Stick it out. I'd say if you are being challenged in your sessions you aren't wasting your time with the therapist.

[LostCyclist]

Hey...just read more of the thread.

I feel you.

The days/weeks you go backwards when you are in therapy and you feel you shouldn't and should be progressing are TOUGH!!! Really tough. It's like...if even therapy can't help what's the point right?

Don't feel that way. Don't feel that you NEED to be progressing yet. Or soon. Don't feel you need to be better or something you think others expect you to be. Be how you are and need to be. There is nothing wrong with feeling crap. With wanting to hide from the world. There are days I stay in bed almost all day. Where I want to just sleep and sleep and not get up to deal with the world and the expected torment of not being 'better'.

My therapist says I need to do things even when i feel horrible, but also accept that I do feel horrible. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. It's a really weird fine line. Accept you aren't where you want to be, but that you are still capable of achieving something today. And whatever you manage to do, that's good. That's ok.

At least that is my struggle. My story. My journey.

Your recovery and path might be different. But I feel you. I don't have the answer that you want. The golden ticket. The magic pill. Just hang in there. I'm a heck of a lot better than I was, but a million miles from where I want to be. That's ok for now. That I don't spend the days feeling like its better to leave this world and researching ways to do that are good. I have the odd moment, but it's short. I've come a long way. And I'm 3 years down the track (not of therapy but of dealing with my injury/accident). I imagine unpacking and healing mentally from three years of beating myself up is going to take time. Some days I'm not hopeful. Other days I am. Some days I feel like I'm letting down my mother who is so supportive. Even on a good day I don't feel like I am doing as much as she expects or that I want to do. I still beat myself up over that. But I am proud when I can get throgh something, part of soemthing.

[LostCyclist]

As to wasting resources and time. Don't be. Those people that love you are likely to sell all they own if it helped get you back to good health. You'll know when you are a burden when they stop offering support!! But if that is there and they are telling you they are thre for you and not to worry about the money, then don't. Trust in them and what they say. And it might be that they deal with some of your pain on your journey....but my mother who spent 15 years of almost horror trying to help a drug addicted son (my brother), doesn't regret it now that he is on the right path.

Just don't give up.You never know what tomorrow brrings. And even if you can't enjoy life presently...even if you don't feel confidentabout recovering, you can only try. Because tomorrow could be the day. Maybe not the day you'll feel perfect, but the day that you can build on. The day things start clicking.

Physical pain and mental pain are both horrible things in their own right. Together, yes. Tough. so tough. We don't always heal as soon as we want. Sometimes we don't heal at all. But from those I've spoken with, they seem to find peace along the way. I'm not saying you will....I'm hoping I might yet.

Be as positive as you can. Try. And trust the support you are being offered. It wouldn't be there if it wasn't genuine.

[Guest_1211]

Wow, thanks for the huge detailed reply. I feel guilty that you’ve even taken so much time to type all of that out.

I’m just so tired. And it all feels too hard.