??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[Sophie_M]

Hey Guest, thanks for checking in with us on the forums. We're so sorry to hear how much you're struggling at the moment. It must be so difficult, but we hope that being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little better. 

As EM mentioned, it's really important to reach out for help when you need it. Our Beyond Blue Support Service is always here for you on 1300 22 4636 or through Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 
 
In addition to this, the lovely counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are always available if things feel like too much to cope with. 

We're all here to help you through this.

[Guest_4593]

Thank you ,that all makes sense

[smallwolf]

I can understand that it may be hard for you to ask for help - whatever the reasons might be for you. I have to say that I really did not know much about mental health until mine went haywire. I grew up in an environment where it was a case of suck it up etc. At least that is my memory of it. And pictures of mental health were what I saw on TV so it could not happen to me. Yet it did and for me was work stress among other things. When I saw a psychologist I was worse than I thought and on this journey have and am learning way of dealing with it. Putting aside the work stress I have a low opinion of myself in many different forms. I know that I am worthwhile - at least I can say it - but trouble believing it.

So you are also valuable, worthwhile and deserving of finding connection and happiness. However it might look for you we will be here, companions on the (virtual) way.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,

[Guest_4593]

Thank you i am going to have to bite the bullet and get help. Im really starting to question if ill make it to the end of the year the way im going at the moment

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_4593,

We're so sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment. It's good to hear that you are going to get some help. We are getting in touch with you privately to offer some extra support as we are concerned for your wellbeing.

Please remember that if at any point you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should contact 000 (triple zero).

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to let us know here how you go getting help.

[smallwolf]

Since your original post there have been some positive changes - you posts have opened up a little giving glimpses and insights into your life, you have stayed around rather then wandering off. And now looking for help. I have been putting quotes in a thread on the forum and I can remember that one of them talked about movement and goes something like - it does not matter how slow you go as long as you move forward.

[Guest_4593]

Feeling super stressed, off work atm because im suppose to be getting help and sorting out all my health and mental health problems. But i put that aside to help a family member move houses and my mind is just all over the place not really sleeping at all seems like im the only 1 actually doing anything. And i feel really exhausted and lethargic and just don't wanna be doing anything, my mind is running 100 miles a hour and my body is not running at all . I just wanna get it over with but its all going very slow. Im not sure this is the best thing for me atm and im just getting really drained and lost 3kg this week already which makes me 47kg and underweight again but i dont really worry about my weight so thats ok but just the stress and worrying about EVERYTHING.. i hope that i can get through the next 2 weeks without a downward spiral . Thanks having a bit of a vent. Happy to be a ear for anyone else that needs to vent

[Sophie_M]

Hey Guest_4593,

We can hear how stressed you must be feeling at the moment, but we are so grateful that you decided to reach out to your friends on the forums for some support. Sometimes releasing the burden of keeping these feelings all bottled up, and typing them out can be really helpful, and we hope you can find some comfort in the kind, thoughtful words from our community.  

Please don't forget that friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service (1300 22 4636), as well as our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are always here for you if you'd like a little extra support tonight, and would like to talk these feelings through.

You might also like to check out these Beyond Blue Resources:

"Staying Well"
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well

"Keep Your Stress Bucket from Overflowing"
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/wellbeing/keep-your-stress-bucket-from-overflowin...

Please feel free to keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

[smallwolf]

it sounds like you are person that cares about everyone else and perhaps not so muck yourself. It is very nice you were able to help out with moving - don't get me wrong. And at the same time you also need to look after yourself a little?

Venting on the forums is helpful - at least it has been for me. It may not get the ideas totally out of your head but better than trying to keep it all inside.

if you want to talk about what is stressing you or sleep or managing stress etc. I am about the place.

Tim

[Guest_4593]

Thanks tim .stress and anxiety has been building up all day iv been busy so been ok . Tonight agitated and trying to use this site to vent didn't work. ..I Just took 2 steps back and i feel less stressed, like i can suddenly focus. but now feel crap about myself and wondering how im going to keep explaining wearing long sleeves as summer approaches. Think the excuses are getting old ..lol my god